


I am All Yours

by Shanlulu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Love/Hate, Threats of Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-10-13 19:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 59,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10520289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shanlulu/pseuds/Shanlulu
Summary: Levi x Reader.You never wanted to be here, but here you are. Captain Levi Ackerman is not making your life any easier, it has been noticed that he is harsher to you than others and once this harshness goes too far, all hell lets loose!





	1. Chapter 1

It was cold, for some reason, it was always cold here, even when the sun was shining. Maybe it was just you, maybe you felt the cold more than anyone else, still, it would feel good to feel warm once in a while. You sigh, feeling like you had been here forever, but that wasn't reality, in fact, you had only been here a matter of months. You had only been with the survey corps with the new influx of trainees, not like you really wanted to be here. Mostly everyone paid no attention to you, let alone be nice, but that was how you liked it.   
  
You shiver and break away from your thoughts. It was your turn to muck out and groom the horses, a job that you particularly hated. As much as it was nice to ride them, cleaning them was another matter. You continue to groom one of the horses, you believed it to be Captain Ackerman's. Well, that was someone, up his own ass, good in a fight but hell was he a stuck up prick.   
  
He had already shown you how much he disliked you. From day one he was full of venom towards you. You knew that he was like with that with everyone, but it seemed like it was particularly vicious in your direction. A couple of the others had mentioned it, in fact, that was how the few people who did talk to you, introduced themselves. Your only collective conclusion was that he didn't like your face. Well, you didn't like his either, even if it was very defined and had the illusion that his skin was the perfection of porcelain. Mr bloody perfect.  
  
“You, (last name).” You look up. “Please tell me why a brat like you is touching my horse?” You move away from the horse catching the Captain's icy glare. From up close he was actually pretty short for a guy. You snigger internally. “Answer me!” He moves a few steps closer, arms folded and looks at you as if you are the muck you have been shovelling.   
  
“I was asked to clean the horses. That's what I am doing” You answer frostily.   
  
“...Sir” You frown, not knowing what he meant. “You address me as Sir, idiot.” You notice that even though his words are infuriated, his face remains deadpan, almost unaffected by the conversation.  
  
“Sir.”  You didn't want to respond, but then you didn't want the aggro either. You should have learnt from the last time you spoke back to him and had to sleep in the shed for two nights with only one blanket. You knew full well that he was always prepared to punish your back chat, but he riled you up so much, you couldn't help but lash back out at him. You sigh again. “So do you want me to groom your horse or not..... _Sir_?” You questioned him, voice dripping with sarcasm . As soon as the words left your mouth, he was next to you and grabbed your chin roughly.   
  
“Answer me like that again brat, and you will fucking live to regret it.” You stagger backwards escaping from his grasp, his voice was like acid, and you truly believed that he would do as he said. You relented your attitude, and bow your head with a nod.   
  
“Tsk.” He turned on his heel and walked out of the stables. You breathe a sigh of relief and get back to work. You hear another set of footsteps approach you, you groan as you think that it is the Captain coming back to have another rant at you.   
  
“I'm NOT interested!” You thought to pre-empt him.   
  
“Huh?” That voice wasn't the Captains. You move out from behind the horse to see another cadet. “Hey (first name), what was up with Levi? What did you do now? He looked super pissed when he walked out of here.” It was Eren, he seemed nice, apparently, he could shift into a titan. Well, he looked normal enough, you couldn't tell he was hiding a monster inside of him. He had been one of the only ones that made the effort to talk to you, and for that, you were somewhat grateful.  
  
“Oh hi, Eren. He was just bitching something or other about me touching his horse. No biggy.” Eren looked shocked. You smile at him warmly. “What? He as a major stick up his ass, he needs bringing down a peg or two.”  
  
“You have a death wish” He laughs, you like it, his face is pretty cute when he smiles. “It was nice knowing you.” You cock your head to look at him.  
  
“He can't be that bad, I'm sure his bark is worse than his bite.” Eren raises his eyebrows at you but says nothing. It's like he knows something but won't tell you.   
  
“Anyway, we have training in a minute, Hanji asked me to come and get you.” You had forgotten about that after your altercation with Captain Ackerman. You set down your brushes and follow him out.   
  
“What is his problem?” You ask as you fasten your pace to catch up with him. Eren shrugs and doesn't offer you an answer. “Fine, whatever.” You weren't going to waste any more breath on him today. Funnily enough, you were quite happy that the training grounds meant you wouldn't have to see him again today. You walked out onto the training field and saw everyone else already set up ready to go.   
  
“Jaeger! (Last name)! You are Late!” Hanji yells from the other side of the field. You scurry to where your teammates were standing, and stood in line. She watched you as you fell in place and continued. “Today, we are going to be doing some mixed combat training. Also, I thought that it might be instrumental in your learning to get a few tips from the seasoned members of the Corps”  
  
You follow your friend's eyes to the group standing not far from you. Whispers start all around you, about them being the members of the special ops team, when from the corner of your eye you see Captain Ackerman. You roll your eyes and groan, why couldn't luck just be on your side for once?! You look at the other members who seem quite annoyed at being there, obviously, Hanji had wrangled them into doing it when you see that Captain Ackerman glaring straight at you.   
  
You double take. Why is he still staring at you? That's quite a glare he's got going on there. For fuck sake... What could you have done now? You look away to try and pay attention to Hanji giving instructions as to what was to happen next, but you could still feel the frosty gaze, sending shivers up your neck. You rub it instinctively and feel very uncomfortable.   
  
“What's the matter?” Eren leant in sideways whispering.   
  
“He keeps looking at me!” You mutter under your breath.   
  
“What song did you want to be played at your funeral, again? I don't know what you said to him, but you are in serious crap.” You hear him laugh quietly.   
  
“What are you two talking about?” Jean and Sasha bundle up behind you. You groan, as you really didn't want the whole squad knowing. Not that it was really something to be embarrassed about, but he was still looking at you and it was extremely unnerving. Eren explains to them and on queue, they both look over at him.  
  
“Don't look at him” You hiss.   
  
“Wow, did you give him attitude again?” Sasha asks mouth full of potato, you wonder how she has managed to get it. You can only guess that she has bribed one of the cooks again, it was the only explanation.   
  
“You're a glutton for punishment and an idiot. You know he doesn't like you, so why bait him all the time? Last time you pissed him off he had you scrubbing the floors in your nightclothes.” Jean adds.   
  
“Shut up. I didn't do anything that time either, all I did was have a play fight with Eren! Not my fault that his weakness is being tickled!” You retort in hushed tones and punch Jean in the arm.   
  
“(Last name) Are you listening?” Hanji shouts scolding you. You wince as you seem to be drawing more attention to yourself every minute.   
  
“Yes Ma'am” You listen to the last of her instructions and wait to get paired off. To your relief, you get paired up with Jean. From your interactions with him, you knew he was hot-headed and had a sharp tongue, not so unlike yourself. At least this meant you could blow off some steam, and forget about the pigmy abominable snow man's stare.   
  
“I'll go easy on you newbie,” Jean grunted at you. He didn't seem impressed to be paired up with a new recruit or the fact that you were by appearances, a weak girl. You scowl at him and take a deep breath.   
  
“This will be easy then. Don't flatter yourself, I'm not a precious sodding flower.” You spat in disgust. You were going to show him, you were a fighter, you always had been, and remarks like that were only going to make you more determined.   
  
He came at you, his main attacks were balanced in brute strength rather than speed. How apt. You move deftly around and away from his attacks, landing a fist on his back, in between his shoulder blades. Jean stops, and drops to one knee, he looked like he was getting his breath back. Standing back up to his full height, he readied himself again. The next attack landed on your shoulder, you yelp in pain and fall to the floor. You glare up at him as he offers a hand to you, you take it begrudgingly to stand up yourself. You shake the pain off and begin again. You fight for a good ten more minutes, and you manage to best him a fair few times when you are interrupted.   
  
“Kirstein. Your strength will win eventually, but that is if she doesn't wear you out before you can even hit a punch.” You both stop, and look to see that unimpressed face looking back at you. Did he have to interrupt?  
  
“Yes, Captain.”  
  
“Here. Let me show you a few tactics.”  Jean nods, he looks annoyed at the halt in fighting yet you notice a flicker of a smirk directed at you. You narrow your eyes at him in response, he can bugger off as well.   
  
Shit! You were going to have to fight the Captain.   
  
Jean moves out of the way, and Captain Ackerman stands in his place. You wonder whether his face was actually a mask, as you were sure that it was just made of stone. You feel nervous, you had heard about how good he was in battle, and you could only imagine that it translated well into hand to hand combat. You wished that the ground would swallow you up whole, yet in that moment you decide that you were not going to let him affect you. He was just some idiot who thought insulting people was a good idea, and he could get away with it because of his rank. People like that made you feel sick. You felt like you were close to hating him, he was just like all the others, who used their power to get what they wanted.  
  
“Brat, I hope you pay attention to what I am to teach you.”  
  
“I am all yours, Sir!” You glower at him. You hated his stupid perfect face, his stupid comments, and his stupid fucking attitude.  
  
You launch your attack, which he counters every single time, it just seems so easy for him, which he always follows with a smack on the back of your head. Pompous twat! He gives you the run around for what appears to be forever. You manage to hit him but none of them really manage to stop his attacks. You move again, feign a hit to the chest and spin around to kick him in the side. You manage to catch him off balance and quickly you go for the backs of his knees, causing him to fall to the ground. Seconds later with your knees pinning his kneeling legs, you hold your training knife to his throat. Breathing heavily, you feel triumphant. You managed to slay the beast, Hah!   
  
“Thank you for the lesson, Sir! I hope you learnt something.” You hear a quiet laugh escape from the man in front of you.   
  
Within a flash, he grabs your arm and pushes down on the inside of your elbow with three fingers and with the other hand, the bones in your thumb joint (pressure points). You scream, as it feels like he has broken your arm, you yank your arm back away from him and in that split second of pain, you are pushed to the ground. Legs straddled either side of your hips and his forearm pressing down on your neck, he leans in closer to you. You struggle to take in more air as the pressure of his body weight crushes down on your throat. You feel his breath on your neck, and amongst trying to breathe, you try desperately to get away from him, the fear becoming real that he may strangle you.   
  
“This is your first lesson, never let your guard down.” He utters under his breath. “Secondly, I will not have female cadets flaunting themselves with other male recruits. I've told you before and if I see it again I will have you reprimanded.” You could feel your consciousness slipping from you and make one last move for your freedom. With all your might you headbutt your captor, he rolls off you in pain and managing to get away from him, stagger back up, barely able to stand.   
  
“FUCK YOU!” Your voice was hoarse and strained. You realise that everyone else had stopped fighting and some of them had obviously been watching the fight for a while. You didn't need this shit. Taking one last look at the Captain on the floor, who was now sitting, with his hand on his head, you speed off.   
  
You manage to make it to the stables, and your legs fall out from underneath you. You clutch your throat, it feels like it is on fire, and just swallowing hurts. He actually planned to kill you, he actually meant to do it. Maybe Eren was right, maybe you should plan your funeral.  You realise that you are crying, you rub the tears out of your eyes, you weren't going to cry over this, not him.   
  
“(First name)!” You hear a call not far from you. You try to turn your neck, but hiss as the pain is so bad you think he must have broken something. Eren crouches down to look at you, his focus trailing from your teary (e/c) eyes to your throat and his eyes widen.   
  
“What the fuck did he do to you?” He grabs you and carries you gently with your head against his chest. “We are going straight to the infirmary. What the hell does he think that he is playing at?” It doesn't take you long to get there, usually, you wouldn't have gone, but you feel too weak to protest.   
  
The medics take a look at you, and they are surprised to hear what happened. You didn't want to say anything or make a fuss, but Eren was insistent on knowing everything. You see Eren getting angrier as they take a look at your neck. It's red raw and bruising is already starting to form, your voice was still croaky even after an excruciating drink of water.   
  
“You are saying Captain Ackerman did this?” The medic asks in a worried tone. You nod gingerly and bow your head. You had never felt so pathetic, you were here to fight the titans, but instead you were almost killed by someone in your own regiment. The medic grumbles and moves to place some ointment on your skin, you jerk back instinctively and shake your head furiously.   
  
“Its okay (first name). Here, let me do it. If it hurts you can punch my leg.” You think that its probably for the best, at least you wouldn't be accused of punching a medic, another thing Mr Captain Levi Asshole could punish you for.  He sits down on the bed next to you and holds one of your hands as he takes an ointment slicked finger to your skin.   
  
“Fuck... That hurts” You grunt in pain.   
  
“Squeeze my hand then.” He does it again, this time you clench his hand and realise how rough his skin is, and on closer inspection, there are minor scars all over his hands. His hands make you feel safe, his hands were much larger than yours with strong fingers, but they were extremely warm. You smile as you bask your hand in his warm one. He notices your expression change and stops.  
  
“Why are you smiling?”  
  
“Your hands are really warm.” You croak. He returns your smile as the medic comes in with a tray with a singular cup and saucer.   
  
“I've been told tea is good for a sore throat, and it might help your voice a little.” You nod and gesture a thank you, the medic makes their exit leaving you alone. Eren takes the cup off of the tray and passes it to you. Sadly this meant that his warm hands were no longer in your possession, however, it was replaced by steaming tea which was deliciously hot for your throat and your freezing cold hands. You take a sip and wince in pain, but endeavour to keep drinking and soon the pain subsides to just a tingle at the back of your throat.  
  
“Thank you, Eren.” You startle him as it had been quiet up until then.   
  
“I haven't done anything.” He shrugs.   
  
“You always seem to be there when I need you, and I just want to let you know I appreciate it.” He takes you aback when you see a flash of red on his cheeks. He looks away from you quickly.   
  
“Oh it's nothing really, that's what friends do!” He turns back to you, with a slightly darker look. “But if he touches you like that again, he's got another thing coming.”  
  
“Eren, please. Don't make a fuss, I can handle it, I'm not broken down that easy.” You try to say as convincingly as possible, but it couldn't be any further from the truth. After today he scared the shit out of you.   
  
~  
  
You had fitful sleep that night and woke up feeling exhausted. Eren had left not long after you finished your tea, and it was the first night in a very long while that you had slept in a room on your own. The silence was unsettling, and even when waking the silence seemed to hang over you like a shadow.   
  
You stretch your legs and pull yourself out of bed. You hold the bed for support, your legs were still weak. Strange considering that it was your throat that had been wounded, not your legs. You take a few paces, even at a shuffle it was good to get up and walk about. You hear noises from down the hall, cadets were laughing and shouting, they sounded like they were having so much fun, and you feel like you wished to be with them. There's a first time for everything. Usually, you distanced yourself from people, but Eren had shown you that you could make friends and maybe you might be able to make some real friends here.   
  
Your thoughts wander to the events of yesterday. What the hell was all that about? _I've told you before and if I see you doing it again you will be reprimanded._ Reprimanded for what? Talking to people? For having a laugh with Eren? Training with Jean? Grooming his horse? Even so, even if what you were doing was wrong, did it really warrant almost being strangled to death?  
  
“Ah, I see you're up” You look up to see Hanji walking in, sprightly as ever. She was carrying a clean set of clothes, which she set on your bed. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Er... Okay, I guess. Alive if only just” You didn't mean to come off as brash, but you were still wound up.   
  
“We have orders from Erwin that you are to have a few days rest. The medics have advised so, due to the wound. Ah, he also wanted you to report to Captain Ackerman as soon as you can.” You gasp. They were sending you straight back into the lion's den. She smiles, seeming to completely miss your horror. “Nothing to worry about,  I am sure he just wants to apologise.”   
  
Apologise. Fucking Apologise? That's the least he could do! He will probably finish the job. This was bullshit, but orders were orders. You nod, knowing there was no way to get out of it.  She waves goodbye and runs off to find her team, leaving you alone again. You gave into getting changed, it was actually more difficult than you initially anticipate due to your neck still being extremely stiff and sore. Eventually, you manage and make the bed, as the medics weren't about you went over to their desk and grabbed a pen and paper to scrawl a thank you for their help.   
  
Slowly you make your way to your dorm to grab your scarf to hide the marks on your neck. You hope it will be quiet and the rest of the girls would already be out. As you open the door you hear your name called from all different directions, you look to see most of them had been waiting for you. You groan internally, wishing you had waited before coming back.   
  
They all rushed over, asking you loads of questions. Did it hurt? What did he do? What did you do to piss him off? How heavy was he? How did he smell? Did you pass out? Did he try and kill you on purpose?  
  
“Did he kiss you? Are you going out?” You heard from someone. How the hell did they get from trying to kill you to dating? Most of the girls needed their heads checked out. You may have been injured but at least you still had your head screwed on. You were about to reply when someone beat you to it.   
  
“Do you think that pestering her is going to get you a response?” The voice was cold. There was only one person that it could be. You muse whether you could make a break for it out the open window, yet with everyone crowded around you, you realise that it would be impossible. “I expect to see you in my office in two minutes” He commanded. When his back was turned you glare at him instinctively, hoping that his head might explode. You grab your (fav/c) scarf and wrap it around your neck. You make your move to go when you turn and speak to Mikasa.   
  
“Can you tell Eren: [Erik Satie, Gymnopédie No.3](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/KUlZylqILKI)” She looks at you confused. “I want that played at my funeral.” You hear a couple of them giggle as you leave the room.   
  
You make your way to his office, every footstep becoming harder and harder as you prepare for your doom. Your stomach was in knots and your arms were shaking as you reach the door. Timidly you knock on the door, hoping that he had been called away on an errand.  
  
“Enter.” You hear from the other side of the door. So much for that then. You curse under your breath and walk into the room. He was sitting at his desk writing, he didn't bother to look up at you. He paused and motioned to the chair the opposite side of the desk to him. You moved cautiously and sat down, remaining quiet. You twiddle your thumbs for a while, waiting for a titan to appear from nowhere and step on you or something to get you away from the situation.   
  
“Now, (last name). I understand that the medical team have given you leave for two days while you recover. I suggest in that time that you help Commander Erwin and myself with any menial tasks that we require of you. It will save you from being completely useless.”  
  
“What?” You could barely believe the words coming out of his mouth. “You're the reason I am like this in the first place!” You weren't originally going to rise to his bait, but useless you were not. “If you didn't have some kind of vendetta against me none of this would ever have happened! Maybe if you got off your high horse once in a while, then maybe I wouldn't talk to you like this!” His hand shot across the desk and grabbed your chin, he ran a thumb across your bottom lip.   
  
“Such a smart mouth” He sounded strange. His voice was drenched with mockery, yet deep and sultry, you try not to think of such things, you confirm to yourself, staring back at his emotionless face. “I have a mind to shut it up.” You freeze completely stunned. He releases your chin and you touch where he had grabbed you. You can feel the skin ache where his fingers had been. This guy was dangerous, you weren't going to stay here or be treated like this. You get up to get away.   
  
“I don't think so. You aren't going to run away, are you? Like a frightened little girl.” He raises his eyes to you, and you are sure you can see the trace of a smirk on his face, but it's gone again in an instant. You feel very trapped and slowly edge backwards. You didn't want to prove him right, but you didn't want to be in the same room with him anymore.   
  
“Do you treat everyone like this?” You feel your anger rising. He had no right to treat people like this. How many before you had gone through this? You watch him cross the room, seeming oblivious at your delicate attempt to escape, to file some papers in a desk on the opposite side of the room.   
  
“Treat like what? I am only responding in kind to you. Ever since you arrived you have been taking cheap shots at me, back chatting and having inappropriate interactions with Eren Jaeger.” You stop, what had Eren got to do with this? Granted he found you and Eren on the floor desperately trying to tickle each other, but it it was only a bit of fun between friends.   
  
“We were having a laugh. For your information, Eren is the first friend I have had since the attack on wall Maria. I think I'm entitled to at least _be his friend!_ Also, while we are at it, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.” He paced towards you, you back away from him until you hit the desk. Fuck, he had cornered you.   
  
“Nothing to do with me?” He was toe to toe with you looking directly in your eyes. They were steely blue, piercingly gorgeous, and could probably see into your soul if you had the time to pause and think. Usually, eyes had different flecks of colour, but his were monotone, muted and  devoid, much like the person they belong to. He raises his hand, you close your eyes, waiting for him to strike you. It doesn't come, instead, your scarf is removed, and you feel a gentle touch your tender skin “I think it has everything to do with me.”


	2. Part 2

“I think it has everything to do with me.” His fingers trace your wound, you can't help but feel there is something wrong with him completely ignoring your personal space. Every touch was agony, and you try your best to lean away from him. “Idiot, stay still. It will hurt more if you struggle.”

“Say that to all the girls do you?” You retort flippantly. He glares at you, which makes you feel a little better, you managed to piss him off. Yet you can't help but notice a hint of a smirk at the edge of his mouth, you didn't like where this was going, being this close you could see flickers of what he was thinking, even if they were generally only taunting you.

He looks away from you and tilts your chin upwards so he can take a better look. It is only then you realise that he is leaning most of his body weight on you so he was close as he could be to look at your neck. You never thought you would be this close to him again, especially outside of a fight. He smelt, the only way you could describe, as clean, with a hint of cologne. If it had been anyone else you probably would have gone weak at the knees, but you could only feel defenceless and bitter around him. Something about him completely disarmed you, and all you had were your words, which seemed other than an annoyance, completely ineffective. 

“At least I can control myself around the opposite sex.” He didn't move away from his ministrations. Is he going on about Eren again? What was his problem with him? Your tensing made your muscles ache, and against your better judgement, you relax your body. You hear a small chuckle emanate from your 'personal doctor', he obviously felt the change in your body. His hand moves to the side of your neck and rests it there, supporting your aching muscles. His hands were like Eren's, rough, but so cold, you could almost feel the icy grasp seep into your skin, you decide to concentrate on the ceiling, rather than the uncomfortable situation. He tilts your head in the opposite direction from him and sighs. 

“There's no permanent damage, you may have a little scar tissue here.” He traces a finger down a particularly tender part of your neck. It stung, but within that touch, your heart started to beat a little faster and you became increasingly more conflicted in what you were feeling. What the heck was going on? Why were you acting like this? He was an asshole! One that almost killed you!!

“No thanks to you.” You reply offhand manner. 

“Yes, I am aware of that. I do not have any remorse as to what happened, however, I am regretful that you are in unnecessary discomfort.” He distances himself from you and cleans his hands in a wash bowl in the corner of the room. You raise an eyebrow. 

“Is that some kind of convoluted way of saying sorry?” It would be a bloody miracle if it was, you watch as he dries his hands and settles back down at his desk. 

“Tsk. Take it as you will.” You sit back down and wrap the discarded scarf back around your neck. You eye him, carefully trying not to draw too much attention to what you were doing. His skin still looked perfect, his black hair falling over his eyes as he wrote. You wonder what he would look like if he actually smiled, probably quite attractive at any rate, if he wasn't a class A prick. You watch his hands as he writes, his hands weren't so much like Eren's at all, on reflection, his were smaller, with slender dexterous fingers. 

Interesting that you had never noticed these details before, and it frightened you as to where your thoughts were taking you. You reprimand yourself, you were still angry at him, and scared as hell, wondering when he might snap again. Maybe it was because you were so scared that your body was reacting to him like that, almost like a survival instinct. You ponder on whether you would prefer to be killed by a titan or the Captain, it didn't take much thought, you would take your chance with a titan. 

“You can paint a picture if you like.” You jump as you hear him speak, you didn't realise he had noticed you watching him. You laugh nervously. 

“What do you know, I'm all out of paint!” You flash him an obviously fake smile and watch him roll his eyes. “Look Captain Ackerman-”

“Captain Levi is fine.”

“Fine, whatever, Captain Levi. Do you actually need me for something or am I just going to sit here all day?” He raises his eyes to meet yours, his tongue quickly flicking over his bottom lip. 

“If I require you to sit there then you sit, brat. However, now you mention it I wouldn't mind a cup of tea.”

“What?!” He raises his eyebrow. 

“Black, strong, and bitter.” He lowers his head and returns to his papers. Sighing you get up from your seat.

“Are you sure we are talking about tea?” You say as you walk out the door with a smirk. He mumbles something under his breath but you aren't able to catch it. 

Happy to be out of his office, you almost skip at your new found freedom. You head towards the kitchen, glad to be away from his intense stare and the even colder way that he manhandles you. It shocks you how happy you feel, though why, you couldn't say why. You feel your stomach growl, you hadn't eaten, now you think of it, you hadn't drunk anything either, and felt your head start to feel fuzzy. You make a note to grab something while you are in the kitchen. 

You are just about to turn the corner when someone grabs your arm and pulls you into an adjacent corridor. With a yelp you land in warm arms, and blink a little at the confusion, only to see blue-green eyes staring back at you. 

“Eren?” He smiles at you and lets you go. 

“Heh, Sorry about that. I wanted to get to you before he finds us talking.” His comment sounded strange to you. He finds us? You look at him quizzically. “The girls told me he had sent you to his office. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I'm fine Eren. He just creeps me out that's all.” Eren looks at you sceptically.

“Has he laid a finger on you?” You couldn't lie, but you didn't want Eren to make things worse. 

“Well-” You start.

“He fucking has, hasn't he!” You can feel the anger radiate off of him. You start to feel yourself shaking, all of this stress had really worn you down. “I'm going to kick the living shit out of him when I see him! I will not have him treat you like this!”

“Eren, please. Stop. I can handle this. He just grabbed my chin that was all. Nothing bad, and he was just looking over my neck, that's it. Nothing to worry about.” You weren't going to mention that he had his body pressed up against you for about fifteen minutes, that would only add fuel to the fire. You couldn't believe that you were defending him, in a sense, a few days ago you would have formed a queue for punches, but this situation was so odd, you were confused about what exactly you were meant to do. 

“He tried to kill you!” He lowers his voice, obviously trying to make sure that your conversation wasn't overheard. He places his hand on the wall behind you, making sure you will listen to him. You were sandwiched between the wall and Eren, another first, you might get an award at this rate. 

“I really appreciate that you are trying to protect me, and I would do the same for you if the roles were reversed. But I cannot, and will not have someone fight my battles for me. You are so caring-” You place a hand on his cheek and gave him a friendly smile. “And you have no idea how much that means to me, but I will not have you getting involved in this, it would only make things worse.” 

He places his other hand wall beside your head, you were well and truly trapped now. Your head feels like it's about to explode as a sharp pain rips through your head. Typical now a headache! “He's threatened you! You are going to tell me next that you aren't allowed to talk to me, for some fucked up pathetic reason, but it will be because he knows that you cannot protect yourself from him. Don't you see? I don't know what his aim in all of this is but it can't be good.”

“Eren, he-” You feel another wave of dizziness, and a second stabbing pain in your head. Within moments you feel yourself falling and losing consciousness. 

~

“Jaeger! What the fuck do you think you are doing?” The sound was fuzzy at first becoming clearer as you come to. You try to lift your head, but with your neck the way it was, it was too much of a struggle. You open your eyes as you see that you are being carried, on the way to the infirmary, with Captain Levi marching towards the both of you. 

Oh, Shit!

“What do you think I am doing?” Eren replies angrily. “I am taking her to the infirmary so she can rest like she is supposed to. Not only is it bad enough that you are the one that caused all of this shit, you make her work when she is meant to be healing!” His voice was getting louder with each word. 

“Brat, shut your fucking mouth. The orders came from Commander Erwin. Not that I have to explain myself to you. She was off making tea and I came to find her, only to see that she is unconscious and with you.” The Captain sneered at Eren, you can feel Eren's grip tighten on you as you sense him getting angrier. 

“What does it matter that she is with me? At least she is safe. You almost killed her!” 

“Safe? May I remind you of what happened to Mikasa, while she was under your protection?” Captain Levi's voice was mocking in tone, face as always, devoid of emotion. You feel Eren's heart beat louder and faster. 

“You shut the hell up about that! It wasn't like that! This was different, you did it with the full intention of hurting her.”

“Tsk.” You hear him tut. This was going to get nasty if you didn't do something to stop them. You wiggle free of Eren's grasp and set your feet on the ground still feeling wobbly.

“Both of you, calm down!” Your voice cracks as you speak, and sounds laboured. “Please stop arguing. I don't know why you are butting heads over this.” You look at Captain Levi. “It's true you tried to kill me, for what reason, I'm at a loss. I've never done anything to you to warrant your anger and neither has Eren. You have a problem with me, take it out on me, don't involve him.” You stumble as you begin to take a step towards him. You are caught before you manage to hit the floor and find yourself being held up by the Captain. 

“(First name)” Eren shouts as he tries to come to your aid, but all you hear is skin hitting skin, you hear Eren grunt and stumble backwards. What the hell had Captain Levi done? You had told them to stop. May as well have been speaking fucking Latin! You try to put weight on your feet again, in an attempt to put an end to this stupid squabble; only for your legs to do a very good impression of jelly on a plate. 

“That's enough discussion, Jaeger. Go and ask the cooks to make something for her to eat and drink.” Eren tries to object. “Enough. Do as I say!” You hear Eren growl at him and walk away. He picks you up, very much in the same way Eren was carrying you. 

“For fuck sake woman, can you not doing anything you are told? You have no respect at all, do you? Fucking useless brat.” You look up to meet his face. He seemed angry. Was it because of Eren again? Or the fact that you hadn't made him tea? You feel completely hopeless, being carried by someone your mind hated, your body was scared of and your heart...should bloody well despise him too! You hang your head, ashamed of yourself.

“I. I'm sorry Sir.” You sound, for the first time, remorseful, though really you were just bitterly disappointed in yourself. You hear him chuckle, he doesn't speak, but you know then, whatever battle you were fighting, you had lost.

You were soon sat on the sofa in his office feeling particularly sick. All you wanted to do was go to your bed in the dorm and sleep for a week. Whatever had been happening, you still couldn't fathom, why you were still in the Captain's office was any ones guess. A knock at the door echoes into the room. 

“Enter.”

Eren walks in, you can tell he is clenching his teeth and eyes are raging. He must have still been fuming about the remark about Mikasa, you wonder what had happened. It was a cheap shot, even for the Captain. He places the tray on the table in front of you, and you see that the cooks have prepared a bowl of soup and a glass of water for you. You must remember to thank them, it looks delicious, but you know you couldn't eat a mouthful, your stomach turns at the thought of eating it. 

“Thank you,” You say helplessly. You hate the way you felt, it was so alien to you. This was the first time that an injury had affected you this much, and you hated it. Just as much as you hated what was going on. You see Eren watching you cautiously, he pauses, and you shake your head, looking at him pleadingly, you couldn't take any more fighting. 

“Go.” Captain Levi commands. With one last glance, Eren resentfully leaves you alone with him again. Great. Feeling sick and being stuck with Mr obnoxious. “Eat.” One word, that's it, just one. Not are you okay? Did you need to sleep? Did you want me to jump off a cliff? Yes. Fucking. Please. 

“I'm not hungry.” You answer sullenly. He walks round the table and bends down to you, nailing you with his stare. 

“I told you to eat, so eat.”

“I am not hungry, I feel sick.” He sits down next to you stiffly. He seems uncomfortable with the situation. You hear him take a deep breath. 

“Just eat the fucking food” He pauses. “Please.” You cough as your breath gets stuck in your throat. He just said please. Hell has well and truly frozen over and the dead will rise from their graves! You blink at him aghast, words formulate in your mind but never make it to your mouth. He sighs. “Don't look at me like that. I am more than capable of asking nicely, and as I have done so; Eat!”

You try your hardest to eat but only manage a few mouthfuls. You do drink deeply, however, and start to feel less dizzy. You were still reeling that he even knew how to say please, this was definitely a revelation but even eating was unnerving as he just sat there observing that you do as he says. He was really quite odd. 

“I take this is the reason no one goes out to dinner with you.” You give him a sideways glance, just to see if he reacts. 

“I have no reason to take anyone out to dinner.” He says matter-of-factly. 

“Ah, hah! I'm right! You're a creep, and just a bit of advice, you might make a few friends if you don't try and either insult them or kill them.” He gets up from his seat and sets your tray on the sideboard close to the door. 

“Fancy yourself as becoming my friend, do you?” His voice gave himself away that he was actually amused. You think back on what you just said and wonder where you went wrong. You shake your head violently, instantly regretting it as your neck reminded you that you are still injured. 

“No, I didn't sign up for that. I like living. Thanks for the offer, though.” You breathe in relief, glad you had got yourself out it, completely missing he had just played you.

“Such a shame.” The sarcasm just oozed out of his mouth. You clench your teeth as you realise he had completely outwitted you, again. He sits down on the table, where your tray previously sat. “And I had already arranged walks in the park, and feeding the ducks together.” 

“Thank goodness for that, I hate ducks.” You desperately try to deviate away from the winning look he had in his eyes. You sit back in the sofa, trying to make a bigger gap between you. You stifle a yawn and feel your body desperately fighting off sleep. “Look, I am really tired, Captain Levi. The last couple of days have been deathly tiring.” You shot him a glare of disdain. “But I really need to get some rest. I feel like shit.” He nods, eyes becoming their standard emotionless state, and he stands up. 

“It would be best if you were to stay in my quarters.” You were half getting up as he said the words and you pause. 

“Excuse me?”

“It is merely for your benefit. My room has a fire, and is also closer to the infirmary if an emergency occurs-”

“Like me being murdered” you mutter. He continues, ignoring your comment.

“If an emergency occurs, then I will be able to get you to a medic sooner. Believe me, it is an inconvenience, I will have to sleep on the sofa.”

“Don't put yourself out Sir” You say in a desperate attempt to get yourself out of his clutches. “The infirmary still has me reserved in for another night of observations, so it would be best really to stay there.”

“You will stay here, brat. That is final.” Oh, joy, now you weren't even going to be awake to witness your own death. Maybe he might even write a eulogy explaining your death at your funeral. “For now, however, rest.”   
He walks you over to the closed door on the opposite side of the room and guides you through. He starts making a fire as you scan your eyes over his room. It was still fairly bare, much like most others, with a few books dotted on tatty dark wood furniture. The bed was neatly made, and in your current state, captivatingly inviting. Gone were your worries of death, you just needed to sleep.   
You sit on the bed and take your shoes off, slowly, as your neck threatens to cause more pain. You unwrap the scarf from around your neck and slip your jacket off and lay them on the end of the bed. You sit there for a while as you watch the Captain expertly fan the small flames to help the wood catch fire. The flames entrance you being so close to sleep, and even sitting up you can feel yourself drifting off. 

You feel yourself slipping away, when you hear a 'tsk' close by, and hands pushing you onto the bed ,lifting your feet up so you are fully laying down and cover you up with numerous blankets. You try to say thank you but your body doesn't respond and just before you slip off into sleep you hear the Captain speak, though not to you, as he walks out the room. 

“What the fuck am I doing?” 

~

You wake feeling a little more refreshed and feeling better than you did before your sleep. You look outside to see that it was still daylight. Had you slept at all? Taking your jacket and your boots, you slip them back on quickly, finishing with wrapping your scarf around your neck. You get up, making the bed, and glance at the fire. It was still slowly burning; Captain Levi must have kept it topped up, or not at all, you muse, reminding yourself that it was still light. 

Walking into the office you don't see the Captain. Taking the chance, you walk out and proceed to the infirmary to get checked over. It didn't take long, and they give you some more salve to put on your skin. It is when you are told it is actually a day later, you had slept all of yesterday and all night. Crap it! You thank them for all their help and make your way to the mess hall, you were desperately hungry.   
“(first name). I'm so glad I caught you.” Sasha bounds over to you, she seems excited to see you. “It's lunch time!” You laugh, you should have known. “But asides from that, you didn't come back to the dorm last night, and when I looked for you in the infirmary before breakfast you weren't there either.” She squealed. “Were you with Levi? What's going on?”

“Nothing is going on Sasha. I stayed in his room because he has a fire.” You speak very slowly for the next part. “He didn't stay in his room.” You made that part very clear, there was very distinctly nothing going on. 

“Well, people are saying that he did it so he could spend time with you.” You roll your eyes, and laugh, beginning to walk with her to the mess hall. People surely had better things to do rather than gossip, they also needed to get their heads straight.

“Really? Come on. He probably just red misted, we have seen so many people do it, there's too many pent up emotions in this place and the fact we are all stuck together. He had a massive fight with Eren yesterday though..” you trail off. 

“That explains why Eren was moody yesterday then. What did they argue about?”

“I don't really know. I don't think he was happy with me being around Eren and he mentioned something about not keeping Mikasa safe.” It still seemed strange to you, half of it, you didn't understand.

“Oh, yeah. When Eren turned into a titan to block up the wall he went for her. Could have been quite nasty.” She paused and changed the subject. “But, he wasn't happy with you and Eren, surely that must tell you he likes-” You clap your hand over her mouth as you reach the hall, and place a finger on your lips to show silence. 

“Enough, he is an asshole! It doesn't matter whether he does or not, nothing is going on.” You glare at her as she inanely giggles at you. Maybe talking to her wasn't such a good idea. You make your way to the far end of the hall and grab your lunch. You take the chance to thank the cooks for your food yesterday and walk off to find your teammates. 

“Well well look who it is, Mrs Ackerman.” You hear Jean jeer at you. 

“Don't tell me you're listening to that shit as well? I thought better of you.” You roll your eyes as you sit down next to Armin.

“Hi (first name)” Armin greats you smiling. 

“Hey, Armin. You don't believe the crap that everyone is gossiping about do you?” He was one that you hoped wouldn't be swayed by the rumours. 

“I don't think that Captain Levi likes anyone particularly. Just hates us all equally.” He offers you a reassuring smile, you could have hugged him. You feel triumphant that you had managed to find someone who actually possessed a thought for themselves. Worrying really, the saviours of humanity couldn't work out fiction from reality.

“Thank goodness. I honestly thought everyone had gone mad.” You laugh and begin to eat. 

“I think there is something in it, though.” You gaze across at the voice opposite you, Mikasa, chin resting in her hands looking thoughtful. You can't believe that Miss Stoic was actually entertaining the idea. Maybe you were still in a dream. “No, think about it. He gives you a hard time from the get-go, punishes you for the silliest things, especially if Eren is involved, and then loses his temper, really hurts you and then spends the next day keeping an eye on you.”

“I am really disappointed in you Mikasa, I expected you of all people to know it was all bullshit.” She gives you a dismissive look and shifts her weight onto her other hand. 

“I am just giving my opinion. The facts are there to see, it's just how you put it all together.”

“Wrongly, that's what it is.” Eren sits down at the table next to Mikasa. “I don't care who it is, no one should treat anyone like that, especially my friends.” You smile at the thought of Eren calling you a friend, it was a very lovely sound to hear. Sasha bounds up to the table and joins in the conversation.   
“Oh don't get all angry again Eren. He likes her it's obvious, we need to do something to get him to show her.”

“NO!” Everyone shouted, at least they were in agreement with that. If by some twisted reality they were right, then him 'showing he liked her' was a death wish. Sasha's face fell and sat down at the table quietly. You had stopped eating, you didn't feel hungry anymore. You look despondently at your food and sigh. 

“Hey, don't worry about it. Have you put more of that cream on your neck today?” Eren changes the subject, your shoulders relax in relief, you had had your fill of stupid gossiping for the day. You shake your head and pull out a small bottle out of your pocket to show him. He nods, walks round the table and gets Armin to shuffle up so he can sit facing you. “You want me to do it? Take your scarf off then and I'll put it on.” 

You wind the scarf off your neck hesitantly, you didn't want the whole squad to see. You hear gasps from your table and other tables around you. You close your eyes, trying to pretend that you were somewhere else. You feel Eren shuffle closer to you. “It's okay, just ignore them. Right, this will probably hurt, grab my hand again, like last time and I'll get it done as quickly as possible.” 

You nod, move your hand to his, your eyes still shut tightly. You gasp as he starts applying it, it stings like a bitch. You grab his hand as he runs his fingers across your skin, you can feel your eyes watering at the pain and you bite your lip. One day you would make Captain Levi pay for this pain, you promised. Finally, he finished and you breathed deeply, opening your eyes. Everyone was still looking at you, horrified.   
“I am so sorry (first name)” Sasha stutters.   
“Yeah, shit I'm sorry if I knew he was hurting you that badly I would have got him off of you” Jean adds, you can see his eyes were full of guilt.   
“Don't worry guys, honestly it's fine.” You wrap your scarf around your neck once more and feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Your eyes widen, as you see the look on Eren's face, you turn quickly to see Captain Levi striding towards your table. How long had be been there?You stand up quickly to stop his advance.   
“Captain Levi, what can we do for you?” You are shocked to see that he is almost boiling over with anger. Eren stands up behind you, you reach out behind you and put your hand on his chest to stop him from coming closer. You see the Captain, try to compose himself. 

“You did not report to me as soon as you awoke.” You raise an eyebrow, that wasn't what he was angry about, you could see that quite clearly. 

“I had to go to the infirmary for more cream and a check up. I then came here to have some lunch. I am eating like I was told to do so. So there is no problem here is there?” You said firmly, you were not having these two starting a row in the middle of lunch. Captain Levi had to maintain a sense of decorum around his subordinates.   
“You completely disregarded a direct order, brat.” You could feel everyone around you starting to tense. Eren was trying to push your hand away but you stood firm. You had your friends around you, you weren't going to back down now and you were fed up of being called a brat. 

“My name is (first name, Last name), not brat! And what order was that sir? The one where I am not allowed to talk to anyone? Or a new one that I am not allowed to let anyone help me put cream on the injury that you caused?” You heard a few intakes of breath and everything was silent.   
“No, it was back chatting me!” He grabs your wrist and yanks you towards him. “You will not fucking disobey me again” He jerks you so hard you lose your balance and start stumbling towards him, in the same moment he starts pulling you down the hall. 

“No fucking way” You hear Eren shout and footsteps behind you. You look back and see Jean and a few others holding Eren back. He tries his best to get loose but fails. You hear someone trying to calm down and Armin runs off to go and find Erwin. 

You try to get your arm back but without much luck, you wonder how you ended up in this situation again. You were just beginning to feel normal again and he had to start acting weird. What the hell was his problem? 

“Why are you such a fucking idiot?” He was still dragging you, you hadn't a clue where you were going. “I ask you to stay away from Eren and as soon as you can, you go straight back to him. It disgusts me.”

“I haven't got a clue what you are talking about! I honestly must be missing something here, you are acting like an asshole for no reason and I don't know why!”He stops dead, causing you to crash into him. 

“You really are a fucking idiot” He grabs your other wrist and pushes you into the wall behind you. The thud jerks your neck instantly, and you start to panic, he was going to kill you there and then. Within the next second, you feel his lips on yours, in a hard, rough kiss. You freeze, what the fuck was this?! What the fuck was he doing?! You try to wiggle free of his hands, which he grips tighter, stopping you completely. 

You felt like you were watching in third person just watching it all happen, and scream internally as you see yourself relaxing into the kiss and letting him deepen the kiss. You were completely insane, maybe this was your dying wish because you would be in the ground before the night ended. If he didn't kill you, you'd dig the grave yourself.

“Ahem, Levi. A word.” The kiss stopped, and you turn your head to see Erwin. You watch Levi walk off still giving you an angry glare. 

What the actual fuck?


	3. Part 3

“Ahem, Levi. A word.” The kiss stopped, and you turn your head to see Erwin. You watch Levi walk off still giving you an angry glare.

 

What the actual fuck?

 

You take a deep sigh of relief as you see them walk away. You needed air, to blow everything that had just happened away and you make your way outside. He kissed you. As in 'full on kissing' kissing, what the hell was that about? Your brain hurt as you try to come up with a reason for the way he was acting. It was so conflicted. On one hand, he was a complete fucking maniac, and yet he had tried made sure you were okay in his own weird little way.

 

Were the rumours right? You couldn't think like that. He had treated you so badly, you couldn't possibly forgive him for what he had done. If you hadn't defended yourself you wouldn't be alive now. You were sure of that.

 

The wind blew around you as you reach the courtyard. You really should have put your cloak on before you came out. You wrap your arms around you as you walk along the path and you hear the horses whinny as the wind rattles the doors of the stables. You deviate from your undecided destination and steal yourself inside. It was fairly warm in here, the horses paced around, obviously feeling unsettled. You speak calmly to them, giving each a pat or stroke, and you notice that it seems to soothe them.

 

Helping them calm down settled your nerves, and you walk past Captain Levi's horse, its dark eyes staring at you blankly. Like owner like horse. You watch him intently, and he whinnies again as another gust bashes against the walls. So it was his horse that was getting all flustered because of the wind. You slowly open the door to his berth and walk over to him. He was nervous, so you talk to him in hushed tones, sending him reassurance, and you pat his side. He really was a beautiful horse, and definitely the cream of the crop. You feel him shivering, and you frown, the horses should have been accustomed to the cold by now, they were bred for it, among other things.   
  
Searching round you find his winter coat, throw it over his back and fasten it round his neck. He looks at you and you sense he is thanking you. You were definitely going mad, the horse would start talking to you in a minute. You stroke his mane and pick up a brush and gently groom him.

 

“It's okay boy, I feel the cold too.” He shakes his head and nibbles at your jacket, you laugh as it takes you by surprise. “Haha, I don't think that's very tasty.” He nuzzles against your side, and you stroke his forehead lovingly. It was true, animals really did know how to make you feel better.

 

“He likes you.” You look up from where you were standing and watch as the familiar figure walks towards you.

 

“Thanks.” You say flatly, not wanting to speak to him. “I hope you had a nice chat with Erwin.”

 

“I wouldn't call it that. He wasn't very happy, especially when I told him how much trouble you had been.” You pause what you're doing, and glare at him, just fucking typical for him to completely twist things in his favour. You look away from him and keep petting the horse, you weren't going to dignify him with a response. Captain Levi seemed to become annoyed at your silence, but you didn't care, he was not worth the effort. “Tsk. I forgot to mention you have no fucking manners.”

  
“Okay, did you also mention you have been a complete and utter jerk the past few months, and, oh, that you tried to kill me?” You feel your anger rising again, you had tried so hard to keep it under wraps, but he just knew how to piss you off. He just stares at you his eyes hard, face unmoving and he shrugs.

 

“That is neither here nor there.”

 

“You have got a fucking nerve. You treat me like shit for as long as I have been here, punish me at every given opportunity, try to kill me, isolate me from my friends and then on top of that you have the fucking audacity to think you have a right to kiss me. I mean, how fucking dare you!” You shake as the adrenaline rages through your body. Picking up one of the grooming brushes from the shelf you throw it at him, he anticipates your move and elegantly moves out the way. The brush makes its way to the doorway and narrowly misses the new occupant of the stables.

 

“Commander Erwin. I-” You quickly apologise before being cut off.

 

“That is quite enough (last name).” He walks further into the stables and casts Levi a knowing, disdainful glance from the corner of his eye. “I hear that you two have been causing a fair amount of trouble.” You stand there feeling extremely ashamed of yourself, only turning to anger when you see Captain Levi's eyes smirking victoriously. “That includes you, Levi. You have been running this poor girl through the ringer. I think the least you can do is apologise, don't you?” The Captain's eyes widen at being openly reprimanded and he looks to Commander Erwin with a look of pure astonishment. Erwin motions to you with his eyes, and you hear Captain Levi growl as he turns back to you.

 

“I apologise Cadet (Last name)” You hold a smirk back when you notice he said it with gritted teeth; you find it so highly amusing, you have to put a hand over your mouth to cage a laugh. Erwin gives you a sideways smile, he seems to be enjoying this as well.

 

“Come, Levi. Why so formal? You weren't so proper when you had her pinned up against the wall a few minutes ago.” You choke on air and feel your cheeks burning. Did he really just say that? You dart your eyes to the Captain. You see a faint hue of pink on his cheeks, and he bows his head to cover his eyes.

 

“Of course, Erwin. (First name), is that adequate?” You can sense from his sullen tone that he was feeling very uncomfortable, you totally knew how that felt. It was strange hearing your name being said by him, you preferred it a lot more to brat or idiot. Why did Erwin draw attention to how he found you? Why did he even mention it? Was it his way of pulling Captain Levi into line? Either way, all of this was a complete revelation to you. The Captain obviously respected Erwin, that much was evident, you didn't think that he would bow down to anyone else like this.

 

“It will do. Now (last name). I wanted to have a word with you.” You gulp, and nod cautiously. “I hear that you did very well in your training the other day. In fact not only did you best Kirstein, you bested Levi too.” You hear him chuckle.

 

“I wouldn't say that” Captain Levi retorted.

 

“I would. From all reports; she was completely incapacitated due to being in a suppressive choke hold, and still managed to disable you. At the end of the day Levi, she was the last one standing, she won that match fair and square.” He looks back to you. “Honestly, I never thought I would see the day that Levi got beaten by one of our new recruits.” This brought a reaction from Levi that was halfway between a scoff and choking on his own ego. “Either way, due to your impressive display, I wanted to ask you personally for your participation in our next mission.” You eyes widen.

 

“It is only a small operation, a four-man team needs to go one of our outposts, not far from here, and pick up some of Hanji's notes that she left behind from our last mission. It shouldn't pose too much danger, and I am sure that you will be able to handle it. It would also mean that you go into the same ranks as Jaeger, Alert and Kirstein etcetera.”

 

Your mouth gapes, does this mean you were effectively being promoted from newbie status? There was so much to think about. He was serious, he wanted you to go on a mission, and go out there with the titans. You may even get your wish of being trodden on by a Titan after all.

 

“I don't think that is such a good idea.” Captain Levi interjects, there is something in his eyes which you can't make out, he seems agitated with the news, and on all accounts, quite panicked. He flits his eyes to you, almost assessing what your answer will be and you just stand there not really sure what to say or do. “She doesn't have enough field training for this!”

 

“Well, that is the reason why you will be heading the team, Levi. However, I do think she is more than capable of holding her own. She has already shown us that she doesn't flinch when it comes to her being face to face with a titan. She has good accuracy with her blades and is one of the better-balanced ones with the 3dmg.”

 

He would be coming with you? You finally thought that you had found safety in Erwin, but he was throwing you out to the wolves again. You sigh and nod, at least he acknowledged your hard work. You watch Captain Levi, was he angry again? You see his fist clench and release again. What was he pissed about now? Because he would be working with you? Or that it had been made official that you beat him in a fight?

 

“Ah, also, Levi, even though you will be heading this team. I think it would be best to see it as a four man squad, rather than a trio with a leader. I would like to see you go out there as equals, I think after the recent displays, it would be best to show the cadets that you aren't, how did you put it (last name)? Yes, that's it, 'a complete jerk'.” You chuckle, something about Erwin saying it, made it even funnier. Captain Levi glares at you from underneath his eyebrows, which you ignore, turning your head to look at anything else.

 

“Tsk.” Is that all he really had to say? You could see that there was something more going on here. What it was, you were definitely not privy to. Go out as equals? Erwin wanted to make sure that he couldn't use his rank against you? It was a dangerous plan, at any rate, you weren't going to be safeguarded by anyone else.

 

“Commander? Who else will be going on the mission?” You ask meekly. You almost wanted him to say Eren, though in the same breath, maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Eren was so protective, and Captain Levi was so, well... _Levi_ , that there would be more danger from them than the titans.

 

“I have selected Blouse and Kirstein. They need a little more field experience, but they are solid team themselves. No, Levi; I do not want any more arguments from you. I have already told you once, I will not repeat myself. Do not make me embarrass you further today.”

 

You watch as Captain Levi drags his teeth over his bottom lip in an attempt to stop himself from snapping back at his Commander. They had obviously had some harsh words when Erwin had dragged him off. The thought of having to spend time with him officially worried you, but orders were orders, and at least you had Sasha and Jean with you.

 

“One more thing. I think it would be best for both of you to cool off. Stay away from each other for a few days, the mission is in three days time, so try your best to steer clear of each other.” What a strange request, but you felt it was actually a very good idea, it meant you had space to talk and be with your friends and get some sort of normality back before venturing out. Commander Erwin turns on his heels and leaves you alone with Captain Levi.

 

“Well your horse seems to have calmed down now, so I'll get going.” You walk past him, making your way as quickly as possible. He catches you arm firmly and you turn to him in surprise.

 

“Don't do anything stupid.” You look at him in puzzlement. “I mean it, Br.... (first name)” He lets go of you and then makes his own way out of the stables leaving you more confused than when you had entered. He had called you by your first name again, you hated to admit it but you rather liked how it sounded coming from him. Strangely it gave you a weird sense of acceptance, even if the first time had been forced and probably meant anything but.

 

You shut the door behind you and scan the area for your teammates, and find they were sitting in the courtyard chatting. The wind had died down, and the sun was peeking weakly through the clouds. You couldn't help but smile at them, they really had shown you how much they cared, even Mikasa, she had bothered to ponder about a situation you were in and given it real thought. That was something quite phenomenal.

 

“(first name)!” You hear Armin beckon you over. You make your way over to them, and sit down on the wall just behind them. The faces looking at you were mixed with anticipation and worry, you laugh at your audience.

 

“You will never guess what happened!” You stop, you weren't going to tell them about the kiss, no way. “I think Erwin ripped Mr Stick-up-his-Ass a new one!” You couldn't help but giggle as you hear the gasps sound around you.

 

“So what did he say?”

 

“I didn't hear the actual conversation, but Captain Levi tried to make out that it was me causing all the problems. I don't think Erwin believed him, though. They both spoke to me in the stables, and he made the Captain apologise.”

 

“What?! He knows how?” Sasha squealed, she really was excitable. “What happened next?”

 

“Please tell me he got kicked by a horse,, ” Eren asked dismissively, you look at him with a heavy heart, he really wasn't happy.

 

“No Eren, he didn't, something much better. Erwin asked me to go on a mission to pick up Hanji's notes in a four man squad.”

 

“Yeah, we got told about that last night. Didn't realise you were coming along with us.” Jean commented, seemingly as uninterested as Eren.

 

“But did he tell you that even though the Captain is coming, he isn't leading us?” That made everyone stop what they were doing and pay undivided attention to you. “He has been told in no uncertain terms that we are to all go as equals.”

 

“WHAT!?” The chorus was hilarious to your ears.

 

“You don't mean that he isn't going to be bossing us about all mission?” Sasha asks in disbelief.

 

“That's exactly what I mean. You have no idea how pissed the Captain was!” You laugh again, the whole situation made you feel like you were soaring through the sky, you felt so happy, you had all your friends around you and you finally have one up on Mr Bipolar.

 

“I still don't like it. You are going to be alone with him and away from any help, he could easily pull the same stunt over again and leave you out there to die.” You sigh as you notice Eren standing with his arms folded, you hop off the wall and rub his arm.   
  
“Eren, it will be okay. I have Jean and Sasha with me. Nothing will happen. I promise.”

 

“I hope for your sake it doesn't.” You roll your eyes and sit down with Sasha and Jean to talk about the upcoming missi and go over the details that they had already been given.

 

~

 

It had been a long day, and you were curled up in your bed. Most of the girls were already asleep, and you stare blankly at the wall, thinking about everything that had happened. Every reasoning about how the Captain had acted just left more questions, it was hopeless. You shift, tucking your feet further into the covers, when you feel your mattress dip, your covers lift up and someone slip into the bed next to you. You whip your head around in fear when you see Sasha's familiar face looking at you and you relax.

 

“Hey. There was something I wanted to ask you.” She whispers in an attempt to not to wake the others. “It feels like you left something out of your story earlier. What was it?” You grimace, you really didn't want to let anyone know what really happened. If she knew and anyone found out you would have to explain something that you didn't understand; not something you wanted to do.

 

“Sasha, just leave it.” You murmur.

 

“No, I can tell it's eating you up. You gave me your dinner, that's not like you at all.” You sigh, you can see real concern in her eyes, this must be what having a friend feels like.

 

“Okay. Don't freak out. He kissed me.” She gasps, and you put a finger to your mouth to quiet her. “It was really weird like he did it because he was so angry with me.” You continue to whisper. “ I don't know why he did it so don't ask me why. Erwin caught us, just before he pulled him aside.”

 

“Oh my god! I can't believe it.” You try to hush her again.

 

“You must keep this to yourself. I don't want to have to explain everything to people, so please, please don't say anything!” You can see her eyes shining and her mindless grin even in the darkness.

 

“I promise, I promise. Did you like it?” You are completely caught off guard with the question. Had you? You had been shocked but you hadn't really given the experience much thought. You could say it was fairly passionate, he was pissed off for one thing, but he had pinned you up against the wall and had kissed you quite forcefully. You feel your body shiver at the thought and pull the covers over yourself further, hoping it is the cold night air.

 

“I don't know.” Your brain was desperately trying to keep up with all the thoughts running around your head. On the logical side of your brain, you were still angry with the way you had been treated, you were scared of him, and quite rightly. On an emotional level, your thoughts were not so clear, that kiss -even being as rough as it was- had played on your mind since it happened.

 

“Well either which way, I think he likes you, even if he is really crap expressing it.”

 

“That's putting it mildly.” You laugh under your breath.

 

You talk about the impending mission for a little while longer, Sasha retreats to her own bed and as you drift off to sleep your thoughts are filled with the Captain.

 

~

 

Three days later....

 

You had slept badly, your slumber filled with tense dreams that you couldn't remember. You had woken early and checked that all your belongings were packed. You had dressed and made your way to the stables to check on your horse and load the small bags with your packed items. You munched on the small breakfast that you had prepared for yourself, you were leaving early anyway, and would have missed the morning meal in the mess hall.

 

You go to sit down by the lake on the far side of the courtyard. It was very quiet, with the odd bird tweeting in the distance. You watch, as the horizon turns from a beautiful orange to a pale pink as the sun creeps its way up from the land and into the sky. You smile at the sight, it really was quite breath taking. You hear footsteps behind you, but you don't look to see who it is, you didn't care, you were enjoying your view far too much.

 

“It really makes you feel human doesn't it?” Captain Levi stands beside you; it wasn't really a question, more of a statement. “No matter what happens, the sun will rise and set, completely disregarding the world it shines down on.” You don't answer but you nod. As deep as it was, he was right. Things move on and the world still turns, even if people die.

 

“What's gotten into you?” You say after a few minutes of silence. “You planning on dying today Captain.”

 

“Not if I can help it. I would prefer it if you didn't try to kill me with your incompetence on the field.” You growl at the comment, there was really no need for it. Up until this point, it had been fairly amicable. Trust him to ruin the moment.

 

“Well, Levi.” You make a point at disregarding his rank, he wasn't the boss anymore, not on this mission anyhow. “I would hate to be the cause of your death, it would be dreadfully ironic, though wouldn't it? Killed in action by one of your own teammates.” You end the sentence dryly.

 

“Tsk” You hear his feet shift. “Just because Commander Erwin told you we are equals, doesn't mean that I am not your superior.”

 

“Whatever _Levi_! Orders are orders.” You hear the sound of footsteps coming towards you, turning round you spot Jean and Sasha heading for your direction. Sasha looks extremely tired, she must not have slept well either, Jean, however, looked determined.

 

“Are we going then?” Jean asks directly to you rather than Levi. You give him a sideways glance and see that he is clenching his teeth again. You nod and get up from your seated position, you make your way over to the stables with the new arrivals, leaving Levi standing at the lake on his own.

 

“Are your horses ready?” You ask as you saddle your horse and check the reins. They confirm, and you walk your horses out of the stables. Levi passes you without even an acknowledgement, and soon returns with his horse. You walk the horses over to the equipment shed and get your gear together. Nerves start to show in your hands as they shake; were you worried about the mission? Or being on the mission with Levi? You give in trying to figure it out and clap your hands to shake out the trembles.

 

You gear up and walk outside, and mount your horse, waiting for the others. They soon file out and get on their own horses. Everyone is fairly quiet, Levi, as normal was mute and aloof. You all follow him out of the courtyard and make your way down towards the outpost.

 

As you ride through, you realise it really was quite beautiful, if you ignored the derelict buildings and eerie quiet. The birds sang as they flew out overhead, the green pastures now wild and unkempt. You ride your horse hard, and you feel all the doubts and anger of the last few months blow away as you speed along.   
  
You ride for hours, not daring to stop. You remember in training that you had to be constantly moving, otherwise, you may as well be a sitting duck. You contemplate the time when you had witnessed the titans for the first time. They were the stuff of nightmares. No one could imagine something so monstrous, yet here they were destroying humanity with every mouthful. You had managed to take one down, unscathed. Some others in your team, however, hadn't been so lucky. You feel your heart pull as you remember your teammates, in pieces. That was not going to happen again, not on your watch!

 

“Are we far, Levi?” Your legs begin to ache as the horses start to slow down, and you shift uncomfortably in the saddle. Your ride had been clear of any titans, which had been lucky, and you were somewhat relieved.

 

“No. We should be there shortly.” His voice is short and slightly breathy. You muse he should sound like that more often, his breathing made his words sound a little softer. It suited him. Maybe you should have him chase you around the courtyard before you let him talk to you, he might inadvertently sound nicer.

 

The horses slow to a trot as you walk through a path with buildings either side. You feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle, and you become more alert. You can't even hear the birds calling anymore. You hear a massive crashing sound to the side of you, your horse bolts down an alleyway to your left when you hear Sasha scream.

 

You jump off your horse and run back, your horse would be fine, just useless at the moment. You knew something was wrong. As you reach the place you had been before the horse ran, you look up to see a Titan, with Levi firmly in its grasp.

 

“LEVI!” Your eyes scan the area for the others and notice Sasha pulling an unconscious Jean into a building and Levi's gear crushed on the ground below you. It must have been damaged in the initial blow. Fuck! You fire off your 3dmg, zipping up to the building near the Titan and run across the roof. Your boots pound across the rooftop, tiles slipping from beneath you as your mind runs into overdrive. Blind-siding this monster was the only way you could start on the attack. You hear Levi yell, and see the Titan raising him to its mouth.   
  
Adrenaline surges through you, seemingly bringing time to a standstill. The titan's motion seems to blur slightly as you focus, and in that moment you shoot your line to the Titan's arm while slashing frantically, managing to slice the hand off at the wrist, although shattering your blades in the process as they bounce off bone. The Titan howls and swings out with its damaged arm, causing you to lose balance. Your hair whips behind you as you plummet downwards, watching the floor rise up to meet you, and somehow in the nick of time you send out another line and swing out to catch Levi, just before he hits the ground.

 

Sasha comes out from her hiding place to bundle Levi inside, just one glance shows you he's completely dazed. You grab your next set of blades and whistle through the air back at the titan. Back on the roof, the behemoth ploughs a hand through the slates next to you and takes out part of the roof, almost ripping your feet out from underneath you. With a crack, your next line flies out in desperation and hooks deeply into the Titan's jaw. You reel yourself in and set off to take the bastard down, knowing timing is everything. You glide around it, readying yourself to strike when it swipes around and catches one of your legs. If it could laugh, you are sure it would have done. You struggle desperately to get free without any luck.

 

“(FIRST NAME)!!” You hear a voice call your name. Fear stricken, and urgent, it wasn't one you recognised. Taking a quick look down you see Levi, leaning in a doorway staring up at you unable to do anything. It was enough to shake you from your stupor and with a single movement, you slice through the fingers holding your leg, ripping your uniform on your left shin. You set a line which pierces its shoulder blade and while reeling yourself in, you run up its back. You drag your blades across its skin and pound them through the flesh at its weak point giving you enough force to hurl yourself to safety. With a pitiful wail, the titan comes smashing to the ground and you remind yourself that oxygen is indeed necessary as you breathe a sigh of relief. You scan the area from your position...

 

All clear, thank goodness...

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!” You hear as you put your feet back down on solid ground. Levi, limping slightly, storms up towards you.

 

“Saving your ass, I think.” You give him a smile, but you realise that he is fuming and your face falls. You didn't get it. You did enough to save everyone, as far as you knew everyone was okay.

 

“You were being fucking reckless. You seriously are a bloody idiot. I should never have let Erwin put you on this mission!”

 

“Excuse me! If I hadn't have been here you would have been Titan chow!” You roar back at him. “Dead. You know? As in, not able to be giving me the third degree right now!” You couldn't believe it, what the fuck? Was he really riding your ass because you saved him? What an egotistical prick!

 

“Levi, she didn't do anything wrong,, ” You notice Jean slowly walking up with a bad cut to his head. Sasha followed quickly behind him. “She saved us all, if she hadn't kept its attention, we'd all be dead.” His voice was cold and cutting. “And that _definitely_ includes you. Stop being a moronic ass, and let's get the horses and go.”

 

“Tsk. Fucking brats!” You watch in astonishment as he walks off and picks up his damaged gear. Jean and Sasha walk up behind you as you watch him slink off to find his horse. You were livid, and you turn to them with a look of complete loss.

 

“What's up with him?” Sasha asks.

 

“I should have let the Titan eat him. I won't be saving him again, that's for sure.” You reply with malice, not really answering her question.

 

“There's something not right” You look at Jean with a raised eyebrow. “Well, more than usual, and it's all directed at you, Mrs Ackerman.” He smirks at you and you roll your eyes.

 

“Not that shit again.” You walk off to find your horse and sure enough, there he was, still in the alleyway. You walk him back and find Sasha and Jean already mounted on their horses. Patting your horse to reassure him, you saddle up. You trot along the path and find Levi waiting for you, he shoots you a glare and then huffs as he starts off without you.

 

You ride for another 10 minutes feeling extremely achy and arrive at the outpost. The place is completely deserted, and you carefully make your way to the entrance. You walk the horses around to the old paddock and make sure that they have food and water. Grabbing your belongings from the saddle bags you slowly make your way into the building.

 

The outpost main building was dusty and dark, and smelt of mold; although fortunately it still seemed sturdy enough to protect the team. You find a place to sit down in what you believed to be some sort of rest room or social quarters. Leaning back in the chair, you sigh as you relax your tired muscles and aching joints. Everything hurt, and on the come down from all the adrenaline, you definitely feel like shit.

 

“(first name)” Sasha calls though from another room. “I'm just going to take Jean up to the medical room here and get cleaned up.” You hear Jean bitching about her mothering him as their voices get further away... So typically Jean.

 

“What is it with you?” You don't even bother turning to see who it is, Levi's voice was clearly distinctive. You don't answer, as you know it wasn't really intended as a question. “You have a total disregard for your own safety. You were lucky you didn't die out there.” Even though the words themselves were of concern, his tone was not, he was incredulous.

 

“Maybe, maybe not, but I didn't and _neither did you_.” You reply, your voice was curt and you cut yourself short to stop yourself from ranting at him and his stupid attitude.

 

“Brat, did you ever stop to think that you might be important to people alive?” You scowl at him.

 

“Well, sure. Everyone is better off being alive.” Your voice is dismissive. What a stupid statement. “But if you dare talk to me like that again, you won't be around to shout at me afterwards!”

 

“Say that again, Brat! I fucking dare you.” His eyes flashed. You get up out of your chair and walk towards him slowly, preparing yourself.

 

“Talk to me again and I will shut you up-” You are interrupted as he grabs you and pulls you towards him. “Levi! Don't even think about it!” remembering the last encounter, your left-hand whips to your hip, fingers closing around the field knife at your waist.

 

“Shut up, (First Name) Your leg's bleeding.” He used your name? Wait, _what_?! You allow yourself to watch as he kneels down, then you see your ripped and heavily bloodied trousers. You had a gash on your right thigh, a fucking big one... How the hell did that happen? Why hadn't you noticed? He examines it and stands up quickly, grabbing your arm and throwing you over his shoulder.

 

“Hey!”

 

“We need to clean the wound. You don't want to die of sepsis do you?” His voice may have softened slightly, but that still didn't stop you struggling to get away from him. His arm clamps around you tightly even preventing you from squirming, so you resign yourself to fate. You rest your head in your hand in annoyance as he walks you to the medical room...


	4. Part 4

Part 4

“We need to clean the wound. You don't want to die of sepsis do you?” His voice may have softened slightly, but that still didn't stop you struggling to get away from him. His arm clamps around you tightly even preventing you from squirming, so you resign yourself to fate. You rest your head in your hand in annoyance as he walks you to the medical room...

~

 

“What?” You hear Sasha cry out in surprise. Levi drops you down on one of the beds, creating a small cloud of dust to plume into the air around you. You look at your teammates with an expression of exasperation. Jean was silent, with one eyebrow raised.

“Doctor over here as deemed it necessary to diagnose me with death due to a cut on my leg.” You look at your leg again, as much as it hurt, you didn't think that you would die from it. Sasha comes over to have a look and grimaces, while Levi washes his hands.

“I cannot diagnose you with death, however, I can pronounce you dead if you wish.” He answers dismissively. You roll your eyes at him and catch a smile from Sasha as she turns to clean up the medical items she had used to patch Jean up. Jean flits his eyes between you and Levi, obviously suppressing a grin himself.

“I think we should go and see if we can make some tea don't you Jean? Give everyone a pick me up, and get our strength back?” You eye her cautiously as she motions suggestively to Jean to move.

“Right.” Jean gets up and strides out of the room. “Keep her in one piece Levi. We do need to get home.” Levi pays no attention to him as he sifts through the supplies in a cupboard next to the sink. You sigh as you sit in silence, feeling quite awkward, you weren't used to this feeling. He wasn't shouting at you, or making weird comments. In fact, the air was calm, which set you on edge even more.

“Put your leg properly up on the bed.” You do so without complaint and watch as he cleans your wound, hissing when he caught part of your torn skin. “You whine like a girl.”

“If you hadn't noticed, I am a girl.” You retort, frowning.

“Oh, I had. Just like every other male in the corps.” The words were cutting, with a premeditated sting to them.

“Well, I would hope that most people could figure out I was female, Levi. Otherwise, I would really worry about the people who were to lead humanity to salvation. Don't you?” Your frown had not left your face, it was starting to get stupid, did he honestly think that you had been with every single guy who had even looked in your general direction?

“Tsk.” He finished cleaning your wound and bandaged it to the best of his ability. He didn't make much eye contact with you at all, almost as if he was avoiding you or your questioning. You swing your legs round off the bed and stand up gingerly. The bandage wasn't too tight and seemed to stay put.

“Levi, can I ask you a question?” You astonished yourself that you were being polite to him. So was he, as it was the first time you saw him make eye contact with you for a while. His blank expression doesn't change but he nods as he washes his hands again after cleaning up. “What did I do wrong earlier? I thought I had done everything we had been trained to, but you were seriously pissed at me. I want to know why.”

He stopped what he was doing, placing his hands on the sink and leant on them. His head bowed, his hair in front of his eyes and he gave an audible sigh. He was acting strange like he was fighting with something, or maybe trying to stop himself from shouting at you.

“You know what forget I asked-”

“No.” He said sharply. He didn't move from his position, he could have been a statue. “You didn't do anything that I would not have done. The reason I was pissed with you... Even if Erwin has told you that we are equals, you, all of you, are my responsibility. I was not able to do what I should have. I was angry with the situation.”

There was something that you had never heard in his voice, there was sadness. He actually had real feelings, and as much as the child in you was giggling at the revelation, you couldn't help but feel the tug on your heart. He was hurting. Whatever had happened in his life before this point, the events of today must have triggered, a painful memory.

“Okay... Is that it?” You were careful with your tone.

“No. I had already told Erwin that I didn't want you on the mission. However, it seems through all my best efforts, you are here, injured, and it is no one else's fault but mine.” You were astonished to see this side of him. You disregarded a lot of what he said as wallowing, but you saw some real emotion there, even if it was just in his voice. You quietly walk over to him, with a new sense of empathy for the idiot who had made your life a misery and place your hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

“Do Not Touch ME!” He roars at you, spinning on the spot and grabbing your wrist tightly. “Don't fucking dare do that again, brat!” You are so surprised by it, something about his reaction really cuts through you. You were so stupid to think that you had actually made a connection with him, to think that you might have caught him with his guard down. It was rare that you offered a hand of comfort, but to be so harshly rebuked for it hurts you deeply. Before you can stop yourself you feel your eyes well up with tears.

“Let me go.” You whisper angrily through tears that were now falling down your cheeks. You wrench your arm away from him and run out of the room. That was it, he had done enough, that was his last chance. You stupid fucking idiot, a pathetic moment of weakness, and he just threw it back in your face. Serve you right!

You run down the hall, and throw yourself into a room and slam the door behind you. You sink down to the floor and sob. Everything that had happened came flooding out as if the barriers had been opened, and with your legs pulled up to your chest you cry into your arms. You hear Jean call for you after hearing the commotion, and listen to Levi making up some crap about you having an emotional outburst because of the Titan and to leave you alone.

After a while of crying, you shake yourself from your self-pity and put on your professional face. You go to one of the bathrooms and wash your face. Your eyes were puffy a blotchy, from what you could see in a cracked mirror on the wall. Gorgeous. You sigh, as you walk out and make your way down to the stables. As you pass the front door, you turn on your heels, remembering your items were still in the room off to the right. You quickly walk in and pick up your bag, and go to leave again.

“(First name)” You hear the cold tone of the Captain. You do not respond, or even acknowledge he even spoke. You continue out of the main building without uttering a word, you pass Jean who starts to speak to you, and stops when he sees your ashen stare. You pack your items back into the saddle bags, stroke your horse and check the reins. All good. You were ready to go.

“Er, hey. Are you okay?” Jean asks quietly.

“I'm fine.” You respond, without any emotion in your words. “Are the rest of you ready to go?”

“Yeah, Sasha is just getting Hanji's notes now and then we are all set.” Jean seems taken aback by your blank expression and short answers.

“Good. We will leave as soon as she has them.” You mount your horse and trot out of the stables. You shift in your saddle as you feel your wound on your leg hurting in that position, it was going to be a long ride home if it hurt the whole way back. Jean readied Sasha's and his own horse and waited with you in the courtyard. Sasha soon joins you and mounts up.

“Where is your gear (first name)?”

“I have lent it to Levi to use, as he is obviously more qualified than I to use it, and seeing as his is broken at the moment, I am left with no choice.” Your tone was matter-of-fact and to the point. You see Sasha frown and look at Jean, he shrugs and looks back to you.

“Look, whatever argument you and Levi had, don't take it out on us.” You look back at them, still feeling hollow from the crying. You didn't want to act so cold, but you didn't want to end up crying again either. To act so weak, to be taken down so easily by him, and it wasn't just him that you were upset about. You had to at least give yourself some credit, it was just the last straw, holding everything in for years and not truly dealing with it, it was bound to happen at some point, just a shame it had to be him to break the proverbial camels back.

“Sorry, I just don't feel like talking at the moment.” Levi walked out, went to the stables and soon returned with his own horse. He was wearing your gear but still held the same disinterested expression, as always. You turn away from them, and set off at a slow trot, hearing them behind you, you quicken your pace and ride as fast as you can back to headquarters.

 

~

You sigh deeply as you embrace the hot water pouring over you. You had needed this, it felt like a million tiny fingers massaging your body. You had ridden hard, to the point where you had almost broken formation on several occasions, and in complete silence, much to the annoyance of the Captain. People had avoided you when you walked in, your aura must have screamed 'leave me alone' and they had thankfully obliged.

You rouse yourself from the soft caress of the water and get out wrapping a towel around you. You dry off to the point where you can put your underwear on and cover up again with the towel. Walking out into the dorm, you see it's empty, and you are glad. The last thing you wanted was to be harassed by stupid questions. You pull your trousers on, under the safety of your towel and do up the button. You are just about to throw on your top when you hear the door open and someone walk in.

“(first name) I wanted to speak to you.” You groan, recognising the voice.

“Captain Levi, I would like you to leave, I am still half undressed and I have no want to talk to you.” You feel your annoyance rise at his presence, you make sure he knows of your displeasure. He walks further into the room, ignoring what you had just said.

“I would like to explain myself.” His tone, even being monotone was not harsh, you raise an eyebrow.

“I don't care what you have to say. You made yourself perfectly clear at the outpost. I don't care what you went through, your attitude stinks, when all I was doing was trying to do was help.” His eyes harden.

“You will listen to what I have to sa-”

“(first name)!” You hear as Eren enters the room, interrupting Levi, he glides past him with ease and walks straight up to you, completely oblivious that you were still only wearing underwear and towel on your top half. “I'm so glad you are back home safe.” He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into an embrace, with his head nuzzled into your shoulder. You try to prise yourself from his grasp, shocked as you were at the display of affection, he was warm against your cold naked shoulders. Eren lets you go and places a chaste kiss on your cheek, you flush instantly. “I am really glad you are back! I'm going to run some errands for Erwin, but once I have finished, we should have a catch-up.”

He winks at you and walks away, staring triumphantly at Levi, who, when your eyes fall on him, was seething with anger. His fists were clenched, turning his knuckles white, he was tight-lipped and glaring at you with malice.

“What?” He just stood there looking at you, not saying a word. “Levi, seriously, what is the matter?”

“You. You just don't know when to fucking quit, do you?” You frown, he was back to his old self again, Mr Happy-Go-Fucking-Lucky.

“Quit what? I didn't do anything! Why do you believe that I instigate everything? I was in here getting changed, minding my own business. You were the one who waltzed in here unannounced.” You fold your arms defiantly.

“You and Eren-”

“Let me stop you there. There is nothing going on between me and Eren. Even if there was, it has nothing to do with you.” With that he tutted and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a thud, leaving you completely stunned with what had transpired. What the heck was going on? What was Eren playing at? You needed to have words with him.

You quickly change into a long-sleeved dark green top, not exactly standard issue, but while you waited for your shirt to be cleaned, it was the closest thing you owned. Shoving on your jacket and scarf, you scurry out of the room in search of Eren. It didn't take you long to find him, in fact, he seemed to be loitering outside the mess hall.

“Eren.” He looked at you with a warm smile. “We need words.” You grab the arm of his jacket and take him down one of the quieter corridors away from the hall. He eyes you cautiously, and genuine concern. “Look, I don't know what you're playing at, but pulling a stunt like that is only going to get me more shit from Levi.”

“On first name terms now, huh?” His face changes to an expression of discontentment. He folds his arms in annoyance.

“No, don't you start as well. Eren, please, the last time you played on it, I almost ended up getting killed or don't you remember?” You place a hand on his folded arms and move into his line of vision. “Oi! Don't start acting like him! You aren't a spoilt brat!”

“I just can't stand the way he treats you. I was coming to find you anyway, and as he just so happened to be there, I wanted him to see what treating you right actually means.” His eyes soften, and he smiles at you again.

“Aw, that's cute and all, and I appreciate what you were doing but please try to tone it down around him, as it's only going to put me in the shit and make my life worse.” You smile at him, feeling warm inside, his concern for you really made you happy.

“And you just look too good in just a towel.” He quipped, moving out of arms reach, laughing as he ran down the hallway. You chase after him, yelling to come back and let you smack him, funnily enough, he didn't do as you said.

After a while you lose him, and bending over, with your hands resting on your thighs, you breathe heavily. As much as he was a pain, he really was fun to hang around, but that kiss on your cheek made you feel weird. It wasn't bad, but it just didn't feel right, Eren was your friend and you never really saw him as anything more than that. Your mind darts to Levi, not that he would ever believe you.

Why would you need to justify that to him anyway? It's not like you had feelings for him.....Right?

“(last name)” You straighten from your resting position and see Commander Erwin standing in front of you. You salute, as is required of a Cadet. “At ease. I wanted to speak to you. Would you please join me in my office.” You gulp and nod, and begin to follow him. What had you done wrong now? Levi had probably been spouting shit about you again, no doubt. Even now he was still making life hard for you, but if he was involving Erwin, then he was stepping it up a notch.

“Please sit.” You sit down in his office as he closes the door behind you. “I know you are probably wondering why I called you here.” You nod and wait anxiously for what he had to say. “I would like to say well done for your work on the mission. If it hadn't been for you, then we would have lost Captain Levi, and probably the rest of the team.”

“Oh, I didn't do anything that we hadn't been trained to Sir.” You explain quickly.

“No, but your quick thinking made sure we had no losses, and that shows that you really are an asset to the Corps. However..” Here it comes! “The interactions with Captain Levi leave much to be desired. It has caused a lot of disruption to the workings of the squad, and as much as it saddens me, I think it would be best to transfer you to either the Military Police or the Garrison.”

“No!” You gasp and leap from your seat. “No, sir! You can't do that! I love it here! I would die for any of my teammates if it meant saving even one life! It wasn't that way when I first joined, but now things have changed. I cannot leave.”

“I am sorry, but I have to do what is best for the squad, not just by you. You and Captain Levi should be kept away from each other at all costs, and the only way we can do that is transfer you. I understand that it is not all your fault, Levi is as much to blame, but we cannot afford to lose Levi from the front lines.” You feel the tears fall down your mortified face.

“When do I go?” You ask quietly.

“Tomorrow. Again, I am sorry.”

“May I be dismissed?” He nods, as you blink through your tears. You slowly walk out the door and close it behind you. You feel your world shattering in front of you, it felt like you were dying a death of heart and mind. You cover your mouth to stifle a sob and begin to run down the hallway, narrowly missing Levi in the corridor, presumably on his way to the Commander's office. You didn't know where you were going, but away, away from all of this, away from everyone.

You keep running until you are outside and hidden in a small thicket of trees. It was quiet here, and backing into a tree you fall to the ground, weeping miserably. It felt like your heart was pouring out of you, your soul disappearing with every sob, this is what death must feel like. Levi got his wish, he had completely finished you off.

You had never felt this way before, even when your family had been killed after the onslaught of Wall Maria. Their loss had been hard to bear, but you knew that in the end, they were finally free. This was different, this was having your living breathing, slightly strange adopted family ripped away from you. To have that snatched away because of someone's dislike for you was just too much.

Not long after, you feel hands reach along your arms and pull you from where you were sitting. You fall into their arms, uncaring as to who, or why they had come to you. It didn't matter anymore. You feel the arms wrap around you tightly, their body warm, and heart beating steadily. Your eyes stayed shut, wondering whether you were in the arms of an angel, ready to take you away. A little over dramatic, a little voice in your head whispers, which is soon drowned out with the noise of more sobs. You must have stayed there for what felt like hours, really in truth it was probably only half an hour, just being cradled and you felt no need to see who was holding you. In fact, it was probably better that way.

Your sobs had quieted to irregular breathing, and your mind starts to clear. You become more aware of your surroundings and shift in your position. You realise the only one who would sit like this with you is Eren, of course, it would be, he was such a good friend. Your eyes flutter open, the sky was dark now, having just turned to dusk. You raise your head.

“L.Levi?” You stammer. A rush of emotions wash over you; fear, anger, sadness, none of which are good, apart from the strangest one which lingered behind, curiosity. “What... What are you doing?”

“I was hoping you would listen to me now.” You glare at him weakly, not moving from your cradled seating.

“Taking the advantage I see.” You sigh and wipe the dampness from your face, feeling disheartened it wasn't Eren. “It doesn't matter what you have to say, Levi. Erwin is sending me away.” You feel him tense unexpectedly.

“Yes, I am aware.” He says distantly.

“Look if you bothered to hold me like this, at least act like you give a shit. You are the reason this has all happened. I am losing everything again because you can't get a grip.” You feel yourself start to well up again, you wipe your eyes again instinctively, trying desperately to save face. Not that there was much point, considering you had just spent the best part of an hour crying.

“I don't like that it is happening. It was never meant-” You shift to look at him directly, your temper becoming hard to keep under wraps.

“It doesn't matter whether you meant to do it. You orchestrated all of this! Think about this logically, this was bound to happen. Erwin wasn't going to stand for it much longer.” You watch as his head falls, hiding his features. He seemed really odd again, and even though he wasn't shouting at you, you didn't really like it.

“I did it to protect you.”

“Protect me?!” You explode, standing up in the same instance. “Protecting me does not usually include trying to get that person killed or thrown off the squad! Protecting someone is making sure they don't get hurt and keeping them safe.”

“That is what I tried to do, Idiot.” He stands up, and looks at you intently, his eyes void of any expression. It makes you even angrier, if he was here to comfort you, he was doing a really bad job.

“Well, a good fucking job you did there!” You growl at him. “I can't actually believe you. If this is your way of protecting me... Wait, why are you trying to protect me?”

“It doesn't matter why. My reasons are my own. I will not have you interrogate me over this.” All feeling had gone from your heart, you felt numb. Levi was just rubbing salt in the wound. You stride up to him and slap him.

“Don't fucking bother.” He grabs your hand, and pulls you closer to him, winding his second arm around your waist.

“Brat. Listen.” You try to escape from his iron grip without success. “I did this, against my better judgement.” He relinquishes your wrist, slides his hand behind your neck and places a kiss on your lips. Your eyes widen in shock, but you cannot move. It was happening again. This guy was in desperate need of a psychiatrist. It was different from the last one, almost tender. Even though this was much more enjoyable than the last one, you pull away.

“What are you doing?!” You try to lean away from him.

“As I said, going against my better judgement.” His eyes lock with yours, his gaze almost searching for something and goes to kiss you again. You shake yourself away, even though the feeling of kissing like this was better than you had imagined.

“Levi, stop. You can't keep doing this. You can't take what isn't given and expect something in return.” He releases you abruptly, his eyes hardening with a furrow on his brow. He turns from you and begins to walk out of the thicket.

“If that is what you chose then so be it, brat.”

“Chose what?” You call out without a clue as to what he meant. You received no response.

 

~

 

“He said what?!” You hear Eren and the rest of the table shout in horror.

“He can't transfer you!” Sasha exclaims. “You saved our lives, and you are one of us!” You look around the table, all of their faces were the same, shocked and unbelieving.

“Well, It is happening. Nothing that can be done about it. I leave first thing in the morning.” You lower your head, it was here that you felt the happiest, where you realised you had true friends. Armin places his hand on your arm and rubs it gently.

“At least you won't have to deal with Titans on the front lines anymore.” You knew he was just trying to comfort you, but it still didn't lessen the blow.

“Armin, she never had a problem with that in the first place.” Mikasa joins in. “Look (first name). Maybe after a little while, you can transfer back after it has quietened down. Then you can just come back.”

“It's all his fucking fault.” You notice Eren glaring at the Captain at the other end of the hall. “I have a right mind to tell him to fucking leave!” You watch as Jean places a forceful hand on his shoulder to make sure that he doesn't move.

“There's no point Eren. It isn't Levi's decision, and they would probably just kill you if you started acting out.” Jean reasoned.

“Look, there's no point debating the issue. I'm leaving, I cannot change that. No one can, but I just wanted to say thank you to all of you, for being here for me. I never thought that I would have people who care for me, and I just wanted to let you know that I really treasure every one of you.” You get teased for being mushy and sentimental, but they manage to make you laugh. Something that only they could do. They really were special.

You retire to your dorm early to pack your things, a few girls came in and out to pick things up and wish you farewell as you were leaving early the next morning. It was harder than you thought, your personal effects only amassed the size of a satchel and you sat on the bed hoping to wake from this terrible nightmare.

Your thoughts turn to Levi, his cold eyes and his tight-lipped expression. His unwavering nerve to destroy everything that you held dear. Your hands clench at the thought, wanting to smack him all over again, and then out of nowhere, you feel his arms around you again, holding you gently. His soft lips on yours, hungry for more, it was more than you could handle. Your mind was full of conflicted feelings, putting it down to the fact that you hadn't really had attention like that, ever, was the only course of action. He bamboozled you, and he knew it.

“Looks like you're busy packing.” You raise your eyes to see Levi standing in the doorway. He glances over your bag and walks into the room. “Not much to pack?”

“No. Not really, all I have are memories really.” You say solemnly. “Is there something I can do for you, Captain?” You notice a slight shift in his aura, and muse that he was a little uncomfortable. He stands more rigidly than normal, just generally looks awkward, you tilt your head to the side and try and work out what he is holding behind his back.

“I wanted to give you this.” He hands you a parcel, wrapped in stereotypical brown paper. You raise an eyebrow at him. “It's a book.” He adds quickly. “You will be travelling by cart back to the city. I believe this will help pass the time.” You gaze up at him, trying not to laugh at how strange he was acting, but you could see that he was trying his utmost to be nice, it must have been very painful for him.

“Does it hurt?” You ask, masking a smile.

“Does what hurt?” He sounded confused, once again your humour was wasted on him as looks at you puzzled.

“Taking the stick out your ass.” You laugh as you watch his eyes darken again, you did so enjoy annoying him, maybe a little too much.

“No more than constantly dealing with you, brat. Good Riddance.” You watch as he storms out of the room, this was becoming more common place than him shouting at you these days. He couldn't take a joke, what a bore. One point to you at least. You sigh, good riddance, huh? Well good-fucking-bye to him too.

You spend the rest of your evening tucked away in your dorm, and eventually after tossing and turning you fall asleep. You dream of Titans and Levi. Of him shouting at you, and in your final dream, eventually suffocating you. You wake with a start and find it is early morning, you rub your eyes as the sun filters down into the room. You go over all of the night's dreams and shudder, they hadn't been pleasant.

You make yourself get out of bed and dress in your uniform. You hear a thud on the floor and see the book, from Levi, still tied in its wrapping, and you bend down to pick it up, running your thumb over the top before throwing it into your bag.

Everyone was still asleep when you exited the dorm and made your way down to the kitchens. You were greeted by the cooks who had lovingly prepared you a small packed breakfast and were given a fond farewell. Your heart warmed at the gesture, and you thank them profusely. You leave not long after and walk out into the courtyard. You missed the place already and wondered who would eventually take over your bunk. You walk over to the cart, which was already being packed by members who were journeying back to the city. You shove your bag in, and help them with the bags and other items that would be going with you, you ended working up quite a sweat.

“(first name)!” You turn to see Eren running across the cobbles, and collides with you in an enormous hug. “I didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye... We all didn't.” You look past him and see your friends walking behind him, smiling, they were sad smiles, but they had come to wave you off.

“Thank you, everyone. It means so much that you came.” Sasha offers her arms to you, trying to hold back tears. You embrace her tightly, as only friends would, and feel another pair of arms around you, Armin, had decided to hug you at the same time. Mikasa rolls her eyes, and very unlike her, joins in, shortly followed by Eren. Jean rolled his eyes at you all, smiles and added his arms to the bundle of people. You all laugh after a while, as you break away.

“I will miss you all.”

“C'mon (last name). It's time to go.” You give them all another hug, and see Erwin saluting you in the distance, as you get onto the cart you return the gesture. Your eyes scan the courtyard, no sign of Levi, and for some reason, your heart sinks. It would have been nice to get the last word in before you left.

The cart rolls off down the path with your friends waving behind. You take one last look at your headquarters and are shifting to sit comfortably when you notice someone standing at one of the windows. It was Levi. You couldn't see him greatly well from this distance but you knew it was him, the hairs on the back of your neck prickled. He didn't move from where he was, he just seemed to be watching you. You give a wave, directed for him, even if he had made your life a misery, things wouldn't be the same without him in it.

“Goodbye, Captain Levi.”

 

I will miss you....


	5. Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word to the wise, there are a few OC's in this one due to a lack of knowledge of characters within the Military Police that would fit the bill, you will probably hate them, but thats the reason they were created. I have also added a few Levi POV just for those who miss him already haha

_I will miss you...._  
  
  
Part 5   
  


“Sir, If you will, bring her back. I believe transferring her wasn't necessary.” Erwin looked up from his desk, a look of disbelief etched into his features.

“Honestly Levi. You acted like you hated the girl. I was certain that you would have rejoiced to see the back of her.” Levi looked at him with an expression somewhere between anger and pleading. “Unless there is something more to the way I found you two?”

“No.” Levi answered quickly, he was making too much fuss over the subject, Erwin would soon know what he was about.

“Then she will be perfectly at home with the Military Police. I have been told that she will be placed in Markus Varga's squad.” Levi turned on the spot and glared at the Commander.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” Shouting at the top of his voice, he didn't care about manners after that revelation. Varga was bad news, everyone knew that, and (first name) being a girl, as tough as she was and her smart mouth, was in serious trouble. “Varga will be the death of her, or worse!”

“She will be fine. She took you on didn't she? And came out the other side, she's tough that one, there will be no need to _worry_ Levi.” He noticed he emphasised the word worry and clenched his teeth. He must have known, did he say it to get a rise out of him? It was one of his annoying habits, if he wasn't barking orders, he was creating different ways to annoy him.

“If I find out anything has happened to her-”

“You'll what?” He interrupted, with a sly grin on his face, it seemed that he was fully aware of Levi's intentions towards her. “Go running to save her? Be her knight in shining armour?” His head flung back as he laughed raucously. “Well, well, well, Levi has found the _one._ How quaint.”

“Shut the fuck up, Sir. I would be concerned for anyone going into Varga's team, don't make out like there is something more than there is.” He continued to laugh, Levi barely holding his temper, saluted and turned to walk out of the room. The laughing stopped.

“She is not coming back Levi, remember, it is your doing that she is gone.” He continued out of the room cursing. It was his fault and opposite of his intentions.

 

~

You look up at your new quarters, they seemed nice enough, not like home, they were light and airy, a step up in comparison. You wander over to your bed and throw your bag in the same direction and sigh. The world weighed heavily on you, you felt as though your legs were made of lead, and your head hurt.

“Ah, (last name).” You see a burly man walk into the room, he had dark brown hair, the stereotypical short back and sides kinda guy. He gives you a sideways grin, his eyes looking you up and down as he offers a hand to shake. “So you are the newbie. Thrown off the corps for causing too much trouble.” He pauses as you scowl at him, without taking up the offer to shake his hand. “How strange that a small little Kitten like you, could have the corps actually getting rid of people, rather than just throwing them to the Titans as a snack.” He laughed mirthlessly.

“And you are?” You answer sharply, not happy with the way he was talking or looking at you.

“Captain Markus Varga. You, Kitten, are on my team.” Your eyes narrow, he was a lecherous prick, that was for certain. The way his eyes just seemed to mentally undress you, made you feel sick and his voice was gruff but oily. You didn't like him one bit.

“Great.” You say unimpressed. Thinking back you would have preferred to have been shouted at by Levi, and glared at for several hours, than be in this guys presence any longer. “When do I have to report for work?”

“You _are_ an eager Kitten aren't you?” His voice deepened, possibly his attempt at being seductive, you grimace and ring your hands as if it would help to make you feel clean again. “You need to come and meet the team. Come, I'll take you to them.”

“No, no. Its fine. I need to unpack.” You fussed, desperately trying to get a moments peace away from him. He made you feel so uncomfortable that you had started to shake, not something that you wanted, or to get misinterpreted as fear. He grabs your arm forcibly, the pressure on your arm makes you cry out, and he leans into you with a lewd grin.

“It would be my _pleasure._ ” He made you feel sick to the pit of your stomach, and you had only been in his presence less than five minutes. Why hadn't you just thrown yourself at that Titan and ended it there and then? Because anything was better than this. You move along side him, hoping that your new teammates were better than him.

“Right, this is Tomas Saar” He pointed at a floppy haired blonde guy with smokey blue eyes, who couldn't have been more than 19, was sitting lazily in his chair and gave you the same intense stare as your new Captain had. Creepy. “This is Alexei Vasilev.” The auburn haired man looked at you unimpressed, went back to smoking his cigarette and reading his newspaper. You could see that he had very visible scars over his face and arms, and you entertain that he didn't look like the type of person you wanted to have an argument with. “And this is Austin Madden” You eyes fall on a fairly weedy guy, with lank dirty blonde-brown hair and an odd shaped nose. He was the only one who waved and acknowledged you in a normal way.

“Hi, My name is-”

“Guys, this is our newest member; Kitten.” You glare at him with malice, you were not going to be treated like an object or a toy. You watch as the floppy haired guy rises from his chair and walks over to you. He was lithe like Levi, but a lot taller. He leans into you, and runs a finger along your jawline.

“Nice to meet you kitten. I can tell we are going to have a lot of fun” He winks and slinks off down the hallway. What the fuck? Are they all creeps? You were seriously thinking of not bothering to unpack your bags and getting the fuck out of dodge. People couldn't really be like this, could they? They must be pulling your leg.   
  
But it wasn't a joke.   
  
As the weeks went on, the team seemed to get more dire, and your worst fears were becoming a reality. You couldn't go five minutes without either Tomas or Markus making moves on you, shortly followed by the 'fuck off and die' attitude from Alexei, and weird giggling from Austin while he seemed to be measuring you up for what ever reason he had running round his sordid little mind. Luckily for you, most of the time he kept out of your way, being far too busy with setting up more targets for extortion. You had most definitely pulled the short straw.   
  
It was only made worse by the fact that you were paraded round like a team trophy, and taken to the seediest of places. As if that wasn't enough, you found you were having to watch as the team took bribes from crooks and drank almost constantly. This wasn't what you were supposed to be doing, what happened to helping humanity? What about furthering human knowledge? This didn't even seem to come into the thoughts of the Captain, the team, or from any other teams that you had come across.

It had got to the point where you missed fighting Titans, the adrenaline surge on missions, the laughter from your friends afterwards, and the harsh words from Levi, for, well, doing anything. It hurt to think about them, and on many occasion, you had to cough your sobs away to save face. It was a pitiful existence, but one you had to endure nonetheless.

“Kitten. Come on, we are going out on patrol!” You hear Tomas shout from the paved street outside. You groan as you get up from where you had been sitting, throw on your satchel and hop down the stairs. The night was warm, but the air was cloying and smelt of old ale and piss. How you loved the city. “Ah, there you are!” He walked around you, playing with your hair. “You smell good tonight.”

“Get on with it Tomas. Don't you have people to bribe?” You say icily as you skip out of his reach. He gave you a fake pout and tried his best to act coy.

“Don't hurt my feelings, Kitten. You know my heart is yours.” You roll your eyes at him and fold your arms impatiently. He changes tack and wraps his arm over your shoulder, purposefully brushing against your bust with his hand. “I just need to make you mine.”

“Don't hold your breath, idiot.” As if picking up something rotten you remove his arm from your person and move out of reaching distance. “My name is (first and last name). Get it fucking right!” He raises his hands in front of him, as if forming some defence, smiles mischievously and walks off in front of you.

“Of course, Kitten.”

You sigh as you stroll along behind him, there was no point trying to do anything about how corrupt they were, it seemed to go all the way up the chain, and nobody was willing to speak out about it either. Absolutely useless situation, if there ever was one. You notice Tomas duck into their usual water hole and follow in behind him. You were hit with a cloud of smoke and fanning your hand in front of your face, you walk over to the bar.

“Usual, Kitten?” You sigh at the innkeeper but nod all the same. Gus was a good guy, he didn't need to know that you hated the name, he didn't mean anything by it. You smile as he hands you your drink and you down it quickly. Much better. It wasn't that you really liked to drink, it was a more of a necessity. Gus always made sure that you had a shot of something strong, followed by a cup of tea. People always looked at you as if you had three heads when you walked though with a steaming cup of tea in your hands, but it kept you happy while the others got drunk and started numerous fights.

“Can I have another ale too?” Gus agreed and soon you were walking through the crowds of people with your cup of tea and tankard of ale for the resident grump. You set Alexei's drink down and tap the book he was reading, he looks at you and growls. You gesture towards the tankard and you see a flicker of a smile cross his scarred lips. You sit on the high-backed bench next to him and snuggle up with your tea, grabbing your book out of your bag.

“Hey Lex, what you reading this time?” He grumbled as he was interrupted from his book. He casts his eyes over to look at you.

“Something I not allowed to.” He answers with a wry smirk, his voice thick with accent. There were very few people who still had such a prominent brogue, in fact it reminded you of a few members of the Survey corps who had come from a small village at the most eastern point of Wall Maria; and at times you could almost hear the howling winds and ice capped mountains echo in his voice. “It is book on history. Before wall was built.” He pauses and scans your lap, noticing the book resting under your cup of tea. “What about you, Kotenok?”

You smile as it was the first time he had really graced you with conversation. Kotenok, you had previously found out meant Kitten in his language, and as much as it annoyed you that he was still technically calling you Kitten, it felt as if it was more of a term of affection, rather than a name of possession.

“Its a book about people getting married.”

“Typical woman book.” He scoffs.

“No not really. You see, the main character is headstrong, and she meets this guy who she really doesn't like and he is a complete ass to her but she-” You stop mid-sentence as you realise, speaking out loud, sounded quite familiar.

“What is book name?”

“Pride and Prejudice by, well, I don't know who its by, the book is really old, and its worn away the authors name.” You sigh. It really was quite an interesting read, even if it was close to falling apart.

“I know this book. The end is-”

“Don't Spoil it Lex! I haven't gotten to the end yet.” He gives you a genuine smile with a twinkle in his eye.

“It is good book. You women like ending.” You laugh and instinctively settle down to read your separate texts, feeling quite content with your silent company.

“Hey Kitten. Whatcha doing?” You glance up from your book to see Tomas leering at you, with his umpteenth tankard already half empty and his breath reeked.

“Nothing that includes you.” You return to your book.

“But I want to make you dance.” You growl as you close your book with a thud, not noticing a slip of paper fall out from within the pages and fall to the floor. “On this” He gestures to his groin. You are about to shout at him when your Captain joins the fray, just as drunk, if not more than Tomas.

“What's this? Kitten wants to dance?” He grabs you roughly and yanks you towards him, making you drop your book. You feel his trunk-like arms slither around you and slams you against his sweaty body, the pungent smell of sweat and stale alcohol turning your stomach. “I can make you dance.” You hear his deep laugh rumble from his chest. “I'll dance with her first! Tomas, you can have her after I have finished with her.” You knew full well that they did not mean dancing, at all.

“Get your hands off me!” But your shouts go unheeded as his hand moves over your body, one arm still pinning you in place against him.

“I had her first. Maybe we can share her.” Terror engulfed you as you hear Tomas' voice behind you, husky and full of need; just as you feel a separate set of hands wandering over you. “We could make her purr.”

“No!” You feel yourself released from their gasp, and pushed backwards. “I shall have first turn.” Your eyes widen as you look up at Alexei, you had never thought he was capable of such things; hurting people and standing his ground in a fight, yes,this definitely not. You scrabble to get your bag and shove your book inside, and as you turn you see him land a punch to the Captains face sending both of the drunkards flying. He turns back to you, as you shake profusely, completely scared to death.

“Come, Kotenok. We shall drink tea and read book at home.” He gives you another smile, gestures to the door and follows you out. Shakily you walk along the pathway, somewhat glad that he had been there.

“Thank you, Lex.” You speak quietly after a while of walking.

“It is no worries. They stop you from reading love book. I will not have this. No one should interrupt good book.” You smile back at him, and realise that, now, he was probably the only friend you had. You walk a little way further in silence and reach 'home', and just as you were about to go upstairs, Alexei stops you. “Wait. This paper dropped from book at bar. You will need this, no?” You take it from him and realise its an envelope with your name on it, frowning you thank him and make your way to your room.

~

“Jaeger! What is all this ruckus?” Levi shouts, walking down towards the table that the team always frequented. He watches as all their eyes fall on him, with an air of icy disdain, he could almost taste their hate for him. It had been the same ever since she had left, they had never forgiven him, and if he really thought about it, he couldn't blame them. Not that he would ever indicate to them that it was the case. “I say again. What. Are. You. Doing?”

“We are making a present!” Sasha blurts out, the scowls are then transferred to her, from the other members of the table.

“For who?” Levi asks seeming disinterested.

“Like you'd care.” Mikasa slapped the back of Eren's head for the comment and answers herself.

“(First name), Sir.” He couldn't stop from letting a look of surprise slip over his features. Mikasa continues “It's her birthday in a few days, and there is another trip to the city. We were going to send her a parcel.”

“I see. Very well.” Levi walks off, doing his best to remain calm.

~

“Eren, you should have told him that she had written to you.” Sasha withdrew when she saw the look on Eren's face. He was not exactly happy with the suggestion.

“For what reason? To let him know that she is fucking miserable? That she is practically being assaulted verbally and physically everyday. Okay, well not quite, but she is so fucking unhappy, she cries every night. Do you think I would tell him that? Let him know that he has won? No. Never. Not after I showed Erwin the letter and he just dismissed it as a way to get back into the Corps. No.” Everyone stayed silent, they had hit every brick wall in an attempt to get (first name) back and were failing to come up with new ideas, which was why they had decided to make her happy from afar. The had all agreed to write to her every week and keep in contact with her, just so she knew that they still missed her.

“Right.” Jean broke the silence. “So, do we have everything? Everyone got their letters?”.......

 

~

Levi had not walked out of the hall, in fact he had stayed out of sight to gather any more information they had on her well-being. He had not been best pleased when he heard Jaeger's outburst. Gritting his teeth he made his way to his office, and slammed his fist into the desk in anger. He had known that it was bad news to send her to Varga, his mind swam with horrid thoughts of what she was going through and he cursed profusely.

He thought of her sly grin when she knew she was aggravating him and the glitter in her eyes when she thought she was winning. It affected him more than he was willing to accept. When she had left he had felt hollow, and he mused in hindsight that maybe he had gone the wrong way about dealing with her. Yet, she shone the brightest when faced with adversity, something that he had not seen in a long while and as much as he hated to admit it, he admired her; Her ability to smile even though she was in pain, her quick humour when she was hurting, and her way of cutting through him with just a sentence, leaving him almost speechless.

He threw himself into his chair, brooding over what Eren had said. It might be apt to send her something in their parcel. No, that would not be appropriate. He could send a wire to wish her happy birthday, no, that would not suffice either, previous encounters had told him that she would probably throw whatever he sent, back at him, more than likely on fire.

It was a conundrum.

 

~

 

_Dear (first name),_

__  
I would like to express my deepest sympathy on your leaving the Survey Corps.  
  
It saddens me that we were not able to converse about certain incidents preceding your departure. I understand that you could not grace me with the opportunity to explain the situation. I perceive that this was more to do with my 'attitude' when questioned on said subjects, I apologise for this and admit that I had not acted within the limits of what I owed you in this respect; an explanation.

_I will admit that I hesitate even when writing this letter to you. There is every chance that this may not even reach you if I deem that it would cause major ramifications. However, against my better judgement, as previously stated, I believe that it is best that I at least endeavour to give you the answer you have been requesting._

_I advised you, the day before you departed, that I did my best to protect you. Ultimately, this never came to pass, as I have failed in remotely doing what I set out to do. Whilst I agree that I may have underestimated my strength in regards to the combat in the training grounds, it was not without reason._

_I wanted to ensure that you were not part of the mission to the outpost, as I had previously read your file and knew that you had nothing to lose, nor anything to live for, on paper. You were extremely detached from the majority of your peers and very resistant to social interactions, be it your teammates and leaders alike. I believed, even mistakenly, that you would be reckless, with the possibility of getting your team killed as well. Having seen it with my own eyes, I know now that this is not the case and you also have very good relations with a small number of cadets, some more than what is required._

_The second point I would like to raise, is the issue at the outpost. I cannot apologise enough for my reaction, this I say with complete resolve. Nothing would justify the way I acted, but understand that it was a moment of folly, and one that fills me with terrible remorse. Appreciate that we all have a past, I myself have one that I wouldn't necessarily be proud of, and if you can, understand that it was merely a defence mechanism for when I was not at my best._

_In my final words, I ask you to be careful. Your wit will not be appreciated by your new Captain, and I hope you will heed me when I say, stay safe, at any cost._

_  
Yours,_

_  
Captain Levi Ackerman_

_Professional Pogo-Stick_

 

You reread the letter multiple times. Deepest sympathies? You weren't dead. It sounded like he was writing a report rather than a personal letter, in fact, he sounded more pretentious on paper than he did in real life. You didn't believe that it was possible, but the letter in front of you proved otherwise. Even still, he had apologised, and you now had written proof, at least you had hard evidence that it was even possible.   
  
Professional Pogo-Stick? You pause and laugh to yourself, he was referring to your comment about the stick up his ass. So there was a streak of humour in him after all, you had seen glimmers of it before, but again here it was written in black and white. Your laughs soon turn to quiet sobs, as you had finally received your answer, somewhat. It was enough, to at least ease the bitterness towards him and you just stare through your tears at the letter. This would be the best you got from him, and it was far too late to tell him that even though you didn't fully understand why, you saw he was just trying to do his best to help the team survive.

“Kitten. What's wrong?” Markus barges into your room, with feigned concern, he thumped over to you, barely keeping himself upright. He eyes the letter you are reading and erupts into laughter. “Poor little Kitten, mewing in her bed. What a sad sight!”

“With all due respect, Sir, Fuck off.” You shift defensively in your seat and watched as your words slowly trigger in his inebriated brain. His eyes blaze at you.

“Respect? You wouldn't know respect if it hit you in the face. “ He roared, you could see the veins throbbing in his neck and his skin take on a red hue. “That was the reason Erwin got rid of you! Threw you out to the dogs, and left me to pick up your sorry ass.”

“You don't know what happened! Don't make out like you know me! Get the Fuck out of _my_ Room and get the Fuck away from ME!” You scream forgetting the words of warning from Levi. Instantly you see the Captain snap and before you could react you see him swing for you. The next thing you know you feel white hot pain across your face and feel yourself hit the floor. Another sharp pain resonated from your ribs as he kicks you with his boot.

“Captain. Come here!” You hear Austin call from downstairs. Markus grunts, spits at you and thunders out of the room. You cry, though every sob hurts, just laying on the floor like a broken doll. Compared to the injury that Levi had given you, this was a whole new ball game, your ragged breathing sent spirals of what felt like a thousand knives slicing at your insides only dulled by the raw burn radiating across your cheek.

“No! Little Kotenok. What has he done?” Your eyes dart to Alexei, and desperately try to scramble away from him. You did not hear his words, as your ears were ringing. He rushes over to you with panic stricken eyes. “Little one. Let me get ice. I will be one moment.” He gives you a worried smile before storming down the stairs. You hear shouting and the slamming of doors before all goes quiet. Alexei returns not long after with ice wrapped in a towel. He offers you a hand and helps you up on to the bed.

“I am sorry. I was not here to stop Markus.” His voice was deep and calming, but he sounded desperately sad. “Have made sure he does not return. Let Alexei look at your pain.” You smile weakly at his use of words, even though not necessarily right, they were out of concern for you. He brushes the hair out of your eyes and examines your cheek. “Bruise will happen but not broken. Did he hurt in other place?” You nod, feeling slightly embarrassed at its location and the possibility of him wanting to take a look at that too. You motion to your ribs, and look at him anxiously.

“No Kotenok, no worries, lift only to here.” He gestures to below your bra line. “I do not want to see those. They are for your love back in Corps.” Your mouth gapes at him. His eyes look over to the letter that you had been reading and picks it up without glancing at its contents. “The book was a gift, no? Letter hidden from person who gave it. Only one person. Hmm?”

You give him a smile, he was quite astute considering you had only been talking for the last few hours. Probably better at understanding you, than you were. You take off your jacket and lift up your top to where he had specified. He gently touches your ribs and tests your reactions to his prods, he stops on the one that makes you hiss the loudest, and feels along the bone.

“It is small fracture, not broken. You are lucky, he had drunk most of Ale in bar, so he was not as strong as usual.” He places the ice on your head and frowns. “You should write to love, tell him what happened. Markus cannot keep doing this.”

“Levi cant do anything, and I doubt he would. We left on bad terms.” You sigh, feeling pathetic, it shouldn't be up to him to do something about it.

“Oh, the troubles of Romeo and Juliet.” He paused. “Captain Levi?”

“Yes, do you know him?” You ask hopefully, you wanted to hear more about him, from someone completely unrelated.

“No, no, no. Not close. Know of him. Legend among many, feared among more. Many know he is of no heart.” He bobbed his head in thought. “But, it could be, someone stole it.” He smiles at you again, and you realise that when he was younger, with less scars, he would have been quite handsome. You wonder what had happened to him, but decide against questioning him on the subject. “Have bath to bring out bruise. Hot. Best to go and find Markus and Tomas, show you are not scared of them.” You shake your head violently in response. “I will not let it happen again, Kotenok.”

You do as he says, and knowing that the only one in the house was Alexei, you could actually relax. You felt calmer now as you tie you hair up in a knot, already dressed, you made sure that you had your field knife with you, just in case one of them managed to corner you. You looked at yourself in the mirror and saw one side of your face was swollen and red. You looked worse than when you had fought with Levi, just great. You wander downstairs and see that Alexei had his nose stuck in a book.  

“I'm ready when you are Lex.” He looks up from his page and smiles.

“Ah, there she is. I have something for you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small screw top jar. “This, my mother gave me. Magical cream for bruise. Put it on now. It will bring swelling down.” You do as requested and put it on, feeling it warm up your skin. Alexei moves from his seat and walks to the door.

“Thanks Lex.” He waves a hand at you to tell you not to worry, and you both enter the night for the second time that evening. He tells you that they were due to speak to someone on the west side of town, and you head in that direction. It doesn't take long before you hear shouting down an alleyway. You both deviate from your path to investigate, it is only when you turn the corner that you see who it is. Tomas was scrapping with some poor guy who didn't look like he had been in a fight in his whole life and the Captain was holding a revolver, pointed in the man's direction.

“What are you doing?” You gasp in horror, starting to run forward, before being stopped by Alexei blocking your path. The captain turns round to you and sneers.

“This fucker hasn't been paying his money! So we are teaching him a lesson until he pays up.” He seemed completely unhinged, how did this guy get to become a captain? He was an oxygen thief.

“But I don't have any money!” The man cries, his voice was terrified and breathy after being repeatedly beaten by Tomas. “I don't have anything left.” You hear the deafening sound of the shot before you see its effect. The man slumps to the ground clutching his chest. You wail as you realise what you have just witnessed. You duck under your protectors arm and run to him in a fit of panic. You freeze as you see the blood and look to see the men standing behind you. Tomas was just standing there transfixed in shock and Markus was looking at his gun as if it had just appeared in his hand.

“Don't just stand there! Get help!” You scream as you start to apply pressure to the wound. Tomas runs off, you hope with all the will in the world, to find someone to aid you. Markus however says silent and unmoving. You feel tears roll down your cheeks as you realise the man had taken his last breath. You stand, fists clenched and turn around slowly to face the assailant, you had never felt so much rage, the raw pain of seeing someone being shot down in front of you in cold blood was by far the worst thing you had ever been witness to. “You! You did this! You worthless piece of shit. You _killed_ him! He did nothing to you, and you... you murdered him.”

“Kotenok.” You feel a hand on your shoulder, and note that Alexei was standing next to you, his eyes hollow. “Send message to Mr Darcy. Do not return until you have sent urgent word.” You puzzle at his comment, unable to fathom what he meant. “I will take Markus to command. They will need words.” He watches as you do not move. “Go. Now!”

You run out of the alleyway and head to the inn that you frequented. You knew that he, out of anyone would be able to get a message to... to who? Mr Darcy. You stop in the middle of the street, who could he mean? You search your mind for what he could mean. Then it hits you. Your book, the one Levi had given you, and he reminded you of the character of Mr Darcy. That was it! He told you to send word to Levi! You start off again and react the inn just as you see Gus closing up.

You explain everything, and he gapes at you in shock. He wakes up one of his messengers, and waits for you to write your note to Levi. You scrawl a message to him and hope that he will be able to read it. You hand it over to him, and the messenger runs out of the door, under strict orders to not stop until he places the note in Levi's hands.

“Will he be able to get out unnoticed by the guards?” Gus smiles.

“Us town folk have our own way of doing things, don't you worry, he will be there before daybreak.” You thank him and he leads you to the bar and pours you a long strong drink and stays with you until you are calm.

“(first name)!” You hear Tomas tumble through the door. At first you were shocked that he even knew your name, but secondly why he had come back to find you. His eyes are erratic and his limbs weren't much better.

“What is it Tomas?”   
  
“Markus shot Lex!”

_Levi, please..... Get here soon...._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for taking so long to post this, however the rest of the chapters are also incoming, so you can binge read if you so feel like

“Markus shot Lex!”

 

_Levi, please..... Get here soon...._

 

Part 6  

 

Levi roused himself from sleep, eyes still shut, he shuffled to the left side of the bed and inhaled the scent still lingering on the pillow. It was hers, and the only thing he had left of her, merely a memory of her. Sometimes he would even ponder on what it would be like to wake up next to her, her features glowing from the morning sun. He opened his eyes angry at his dozing self for even entertaining the idea.

He got up feeling on edge, something didn't sit right with him this morning. He pushed the thought aside and began his morning routine. He had just finished pulling on his boots when he heard someone crashing into his office. Levi growled at the ill manners of the intruder and stormed into his office, ready to reprimand the cadet. To his surprise there was a man he had never seen before, heaving with exhaustion and clutching something in his hand.  
  
Levi glanced out of the window to see a horse tied up outside that wasn't one of the Corps usual stallions. He scowled back at the man, who was making his way closer to him with his arm outstretched. He wasn't wearing uniform, and looked like he was a city dweller.

“Are you Captain Levi?” The man said, rushing his question. Levi nodded, feeling somewhat bemused by the situation. “This came from a girl from the Military Police, things are really bad. She needs you.” Levi grabbed the note from his hand, and motioned the man to sit down. The writing was awful, hurried and messy.

 

_Levi,_

 

_Code black, No time to say._

_Varga's gone off deep end. Eren and team know more._

_He just murdered someone, fellow officer is in danger!_

 

_I need you! Now._

 

_Hurry._

 

_Please._

 

At the bottom of the note was a single scrawled letter. He knew it was (first name). Levi looked up from the note. It didn't really tell him a lot, but he knew that she wouldn't have reached out if it wasn't a dire situation. Code Black? That was a Military Police term, which he hadn't heard in years, but one that meant things were well and truly fucked.   
  
“When did she write this?” Levi asked briskly.

“Late last night, I haven't stopped riding since I was handed it.” He was still out of breath and looked awful. Levi directed him to the kitchens to get refreshment, and made his way to Erwin's office, he was bound to listen to him now.

Levi didn't knock at his door either, and stormed in with the letter in hand. Erwin was sitting on his sofa with report files balanced on his knee, drinking a cup of coffee. Levi threw the letter at him, but stayed silent. Erwin scanned the note, and stared blankly at Levi, sighing.

“It is nothing to do with us Levi, the chain of command is set in stone. We cannot interfere.”

“This is fucking outrageous! She is one of us, and she needs our help!” Levi was seething with the inaction or bother of his higher-up.

“That as it may, I cannot sanction any action for matters within the Military Police. Its not something I can do. Levi, look, I know you care for her, and I understand that you want to help her but it really is completely out of our control. Don't be a fool.” His voice was calm but rigid in its manner, he was not going to back down.

“I told you from the start it was a stupid fucking idea.” Trying to keep his voice to a respectful volume.

“I had orders as well Levi, and that is what I was told to do. If you read the letter again, it doesnt say that she has been harmed in anyway, does it? So there is nothing to fear. Varga will be taken in and dealt with. (Last name) will be fine.”

“Jaeger, has been in correspondence from her, and she has apparently been repeatedly hurt and verbally abused.” Erwin laughed.

“So its like a home from home for her then.” He raised an eyebrow in amusement. “If she was still able to write to Jaeger then she was not badly hurt. I say again, I will not sanction a mission to the city.” Levi grabbed the letter and sped out of the room, feeling extremely angry, protocol was more of a hindrance than a help. He steeled himself against his next action and gathered those who were in the know about her, together and it wasn't long before he had all of them sat in his office still half asleep.

“Whats going on sir?” Sasha yawned, flopping onto Jean's back in an attempt to go back to sleep.

“(First name)” Everyone perked up, and all eyes were fixed upon him. “She's in trouble.” He passed the letter round to the team and saw all of them look at it in horror. Eren was the only one who looked at him with spite, obviously still very bitter towards him. “Before you ask, I have already spoken to Erwin and he said that he cannot sanction a mission to aid her.”

“Why not?” Jean asked with a scowl.

“Because we cannot get involved with Military Police business, I know, I do not like it either-”

“Why do you care?” Eren interrupted him. “You were the one who got her kicked out.” He really did remind Levi of a spoilt child at times.

“Not that I should have to explain myself, brat, but she is one of us. And as you were too fucking busy bitching at me to notice , I am trying my best to get her back.” Something in his voice turned everyone's attention back to him, he huffed, and realised his emotions had made their selves apparent. “Erwin cannot officially sanction a mission but-”

“You are going to go anyway, without direct orders!” Armin chimed in, smiling broadly.

“Not with out me!” Eren and Jean chorused, looks of determination etched into their faces.

“Or me!” Sasha piped up, she wasn't going to be left out.

“We cant all go.” Mikasa added. “It might be best if a few of us stay behind, and smooth things over with Erwin. Armin and I can do that. Eren has no tact so it would be pointless him staying.” Everyone seemed to be in agreement with Mikasa's idea.

“Good. We will need to leave soon, before Erwin finds out that we are planning anything. Go quickly, get anything you may need. I would suggest not wearing your uniforms, we cannot be seen acting in the Corps interests, so anything that might be usually seen the city. We will discuss plans once we have reached the city. Meet back in the stables in twenty minutes.” Everyone rushed out of the room apart from Mikasa, who seemed to be debating something.

“You really do care for her don't you?” She looked at Levi with a look that he felt he couldn't argue with. It really was like looking in a mirror.

“I don't have to explain-” Mikasa sighed and let out a small laugh.

“Don't hide from it Levi, its obvious and it suits you. A word of warning though, when you see her, tell her, if you don't, you might not get a second chance.” She walked out of the office smiling. Levi didn't have anything to say, he was mortified that she had read him so easily.

He quickly changed into a grey shirt, an old dark grey waistcoat, and some black riding trousers. Much to his distaste the waistcoat was frayed and tatty, but looking pristine would have looked out of place. He grabbed the letter she had written him, and a few other items, and packed them in a bag to attach to the horse. He moved swiftly out of his office and made his way unseen to the stables.

When he arrived he saw that Jean and Sasha were already set to go, and had done a decent job at finding clothes that would keep them unnoticed, when Eren walked in looking particularly annoyed. When asked what was wrong, he revealed that he was actually wearing one of Mikasa's jumpers because he didn't really own anything warm, it would have been fine, unless one looked closely at the back, where small bows trailed from neckline to hem. Laughter erupted from the other cadets and Levi had to try very hard not to laugh himself. He failed.

They saddled up their horses, and as soon as they were able, set off without a second glance. They were going to bring her back... At any cost.

 

~

 

“LEX!” You scream through the hospital corridors in blind panic, you reach the room where he had been put, your breathing ragged and fatigued from the running. He was resting on the bed, his skin looked grey and his torso was bound with bandages. Tears erupt from your eyes as you run over to his bed, he didn't even look like he was breathing and your tears turn to sobs. He had been been so ignorant of you until he had discovered your mutual love for books and you had seen what a lovely man he truly was.

“Do not cry Kotonek.” He placed his hand on top of yours, his voice was weak and barely audible, you look up at him, your heart brimming over with joy. He wasn't gone! Without thinking you take his hand and kiss his knuckles, in such a short space of time he had become one of your closest friends.

“Lex, I was so scared.” Grunting in pain, he shifts so he is able to stroke your cheek with one finger.

“Alexei does not die from bullet. Markus cannot shoot fish in barrel.” His voice still quiet but warm, his eyes told a story of pain, but you could see that he was happy. “You remind me of little sister, rest her soul, she was strong, but she would cry. You should be sister from now.” He smiles at you, and his words touch you deeply.

“I couldn't ask for a better big brother.” You lean over and place a kiss on his forehead. You frown. “Have they said how much damage he did?” You pull a chair over to the bed and continued to hold his rough hand.

“Nothing vital. Shattered ribs” He points at your rib cage. “We match now.” You both laugh, his more laboured than yours. “Did you send message to Mr Darcy?” You nod quietly and look a little sad, he probably wouldn't come, or just threw it in the bin. “He will come, little one.”

You don't answer but bow your head. You stay quiet for a while, not really thinking of anything. Lex had some strange belief in Levi that you hadn't. He seemed very sure of the fact, when he hadn't even met the guy. As much as you wanted to believe him, your doubts outweighed the idea and you weren't so sure.

“Tell me.” Alexei breaks the silence. “What happened with Captain Darcy?” You sigh and rub your forehead.

“He had a habit of punishing me for no reason, it got so bad he almost killed me.” You lift your chin to show him the now muted bruises and scars along your skin. “He went nuts when he saw me being friends with another guy, then I saved his life from a Titan, he had a raging tantrum over that and then kissed me twice on separate occasions. Our arguments got so bad that Erwin had to put distance between us, which is why I am here. It has been an odd few months, lets put it that way.”

“Typical man behaviour. Read enough books to know this. He hurt you to protect you from Titan. He could not have you but did not want another to also. Kiss was moment of weakness, no?” You laugh, this guy could have been a shrink, he was amazing, with barely any information he had pretty much sussed everything that Levi had written in his letter. You smiles, shaking your head at the irony. You hear a knock at the door and turn to see who it was.

“Austin.... What are you doing here?” For some reason you feel fearful, his appearance made you feel uneasy. Lex growls and squeezes your hand protectively.

“Oh, I didn't realise you would be here and, Alexei.” He pauses, looking shocked but covering well with a smile. “You are okay! I heard what happened and came to see if you were still, I mean, if you were not too badly injured.” …  _If you were still ..._  something clicks in your head. His voice was slippery and you felt yourself getting angry, this man was a snake and couldn't be trusted.

“I am fine Austin. Thank you for concern.” Lex's voice was guarded, and his body language screamed wariness. You couldn't blame him, you felt exactly the same. Austin must have sensed this and made his excuses to leave, closing the door behind him. You turn back to Lex with fearful eyes, he nods, answering your silent question, and moves to get out of bed.   
  
“Lex! Don't be stupid. You've just been shot!” You try to haul him back into bed.

“No, woman! Leave me be, we leave now! Markus did not know I still breathe. Austin will tell, and he will be after us both. We must go.” Realisation soon dawns on you as his words sink in, he was right, you were sitting ducks staying here. You help him out of bed, and hold up his shirt to make it easier for him to put on. He picks up the rest of his belongings and you both quietly leave the room to make sure no one noticed that you were making a get away. Once you are outside and safely tucked away in a side street, Lex pulls you aside.

“If it gets bad, you run, don't stay for me. Markus has friends like him. Cold, corrupt men, they will not hesitate to kill you, if he wishes.” You rush to answer. “No, Kotenok. You must. You are small, and delicate like flower.” He smiles at your scowl and rolls his eyes. “Okay, delicate flower with thorns. Alexei is okay with pain. I can survive, you, not so much.” The look on his face told you he was serious and with great reluctance you relent and agree. “We must be careful, they look for us now.”

 

~

 

Levi tied his horse at the stables, and handed the stable boy some money for the board for the horses and waited for the rest of the team to do the same. The sky was grey and threatened to rain, it made the city look drab and depressing, still he felt it mirrored his mood well enough. It had taken some hours to get here, and he could see the toll it had taken on the others. He decided that it would be best to make a stop at a little pastry shop to grab some food and drink, and at least give them time to rest.   
  
His heart pounded knowing that he was here, so close to finding her and finally being able to tell her everything. Levi couldn't help but feel that the note only explained the tip of the iceberg and they were falling into a well of lies and deceit, weaved by members of the Military Police, but he could only hope that they were here in time. Making the team go on without rest, would jeopardise their chances of getting (first name) back into safety, and he couldn't have that.

“So Levi. What's the plan?” Eren enquired, and continued drinking a large glass of water.

“We know that the messenger came from an inn run by a man named Gus. It wont take much to ask around without causing suspicion. Even though Varga's team do not know us, it would be foolish to rush in. What my plan would be, is to see if we can find (first name) and try to slip her out without anyone noticing, starting with Gus and working outwards.” They nod, all in deep thought.

“What happens if she is with them?” Sasha asked timidly.

“We will just have to figure that out when we get to it. Stealth is our better option, I wouldn't suggest getting into open conflict with them, where we are better in our reflexes, most in Military police lend themselves to strength, what with dealing with the general public on a day to day basis.” Levi paused, talking about it made it feel almost impossible, it wasn't completely out of his mind that there would be injuries. “As much as I hate to say this, if it even looks like our actions will endanger (first name) we will need to pull back.”

“I'm not stopping until I get her away from them” Eren retorted scathingly. Levi glared at him.

“Idiot! If she gets hurt because you cannot control yourself, then on your head be it.”

“Talk for yourself.” Jean murmured, and earned an icy stare from Levi himself.

“I know you hate me, lets just get that out in the open now. We all know it and I don't give a flying fuck. What matters here is that we get (first name) back. Now shut up.” Eren and Jean scowled at him and in an instant, the aura of the group had changed.

“Stop it! All of you!” Sasha interjected in annoyance. “I want her back, we all do, so stop bitching at each other, at least until we have her in safety!” The boys turned round at gave her looks of surprise, this was the first time that she had laid down the law, and taken a tone of authority. They couldn't argue with that, she was right at the end of the day.

They finished resting about an hour or so later, and set off to get more information as to where (first name) and her team might be. The shop owner provided them with the details of where Gus could be found and when Varga's name was mentioned, the shop keeper lost all colour and made herself busy, without answering the question.

Levi thought it best to try a different tact and not ask people directly. This did mean that they spent more time talking to people but he wasn't going to take any chances, as much as Eren wanted to rush into the fray, Levi knew that any one of them could end up getting hurt without assessing the situation first. They managed to get an idea of the team's usual haunts and their patrol routes. Once they felt that they had a good idea of their movements they decided to move ahead with the next stage of their plan.

Levi scanned around as they walked through the streets, Jean and Sasha were in front of them, arm in arm. They had decided, much to Jean's protests, that it would be best that they acted like a couple, as Sasha walking with three men could have drawn attention to them. Levi mused that they actually suited each other, and even though Jean had initially refused, he looked suspiciously like he was enjoying himself.

Just as they were walking down a particularly dark alleyway, overshadowed by the tall houses, Levi heard a familiar voice. Varga. He alerted the rest of the team, and they nodded, knowing what they needed to do and Levi stayed out of sight. Varga knew his face, whether over the years of drinking he would remember it or not was another question entirely, either way Levi wasn't going to take that chance.

Jean and Sasha walked slowly, chatting, giggling and doing whatever lovebirds usually did, Eren following behind scraping his shoes on the floor looking like a dead beat kid. Levi stopped a grin, not far from the truth really. He took out a flat cap from his bag, made sure all his hair was scraped back into the hat, placed a pair of glasses over his eyes and set off himself, with his nose in a book. He hoped that it would be enough to at least stay close to Varga, without attracting his attention.

As Levi walked closer he saw that Varga was having intent words with another man. His eyes were conflicted, angry but in the same instance, almost agitated. Something told Levi that whatever had occurred, the shooting not withstanding, had completely spooked Varga.   
  
“Tell me where she went!” Levi caught some of the conversation as he continued past him. “I need to get hold of her, before she shoots that mouth of hers off at someone who she shouldn't!” Levi had to really fight his instincts to take him down straight away, he knew exactly who he was talking about. Knowing that he was looking for her made Levi tense, the situation was just what he expected, dire. He looked ahead of him, realising Eren had heard Varga too and was clenching his fists in anger.

“I don't know where she is. Honestly. She just disappeared after you left.” The man was obviously scared and his voice was shaky. Varga made a sound of exasperation, storming off he pushed past Levi, without turning to apologise. He bit his tongue in an attempt to control shouting at him, took a deep breath and continued on his way. They followed him a little way further and found they were at the inn that she had sent the message from.

They regrouped, Levi taking off his hat and glasses, and strategised their next move.

 

~

 

“Kotenok.” Alexei pushes you aside to make sure you are not seen. “Stay.” He raises three fingers, letting you know that he had spotted three more of Varga's lackeys, you lean back on the wall and sigh. This was starting to get stupid, you couldn't take two steps without another idiot trying to find you.

“Seriously doesn't he ever quit?” You whisper, drained from continually peaking round corners and dashing into alley ways. You worry about Lex's wound, he was still pale and you could tell, even though he was hiding it, he was in a lot of pain. You admired him, he was what you would expect a true warrior to be, pushing through pain and helping those who needed it most, but more than anything, his undeniable honor.

“This man, he seeks you because you know. You know what he did. He cannot have this. He would kill before you talk. This is why we hide. I do not want you dead.” You give him an apologetic smile, and motion to go the opposite way, avoiding the three he had spotted. You continue to walk along, when panic flashes across Lex's usual stoic face, he pushes you inside a derelict house and follows in after, shutting the door quickly behind him. “More.”

“How many of them are there? It seems like the whole of the Military Police are under his control!” You felt claustrophobic, even outside you felt like the walls were closing in on you, this was getting a little too much to take for one girl. You were glad that you had Lex with you, as you wouldn't have survived the night without him.

“Most of them owe favour. He call them all in to find you.” He grabs a hip flask from his belt and takes a quick drink from it, you could only guess it was a spirit of some kind, enough to take the edge off the pain he was feeling. You hear movement from one of the rooms and you both shoot looks at each other in worry. Had they found you?

Slowly you creep into the room with the noise, hand on your knife, ready to take on who had found you. In complete surprise you gasp, seeing Tomas resting against a wall with Austin out cold on the floor. You guard yourself and grip the blade tightly, waiting for Tomas to react to your presence in violence, but in another turn of events he doesn't at all.

“(first name). You're alive! They haven't caught you yet? And what do you know, the big brute isn't dead either. Least I know now that Austin wasn't lying.” He was smiling at you, looking you up and down as he always did.

“Tomas, what are you doing here! What did you do to Austin?” You weren't exactly unhappy about Austin, but it was more worrying as to what Tomas was doing and why. “Why the hell are you guys all taking each other out? You are all fucking mad!!!”

“Me, mad?” Tomas's eyes flashed in anger. “I don't think so Kitten! I was minding my own business, when Austin caught me in the street outside, bowled me in here and, well, see for yourself!” He lifted his shirt and you gasp in horror when you see that he was bleeding profusely. “This little prick decided that he wanted me out of the picture and stabbed me!” You hear a laugh erupt from Lex.

“You taken down by little Austin. Oh, that is worse than hurt by girl.” He creased up with laughter, Tomas narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, hearing Lex belly laugh was contagious and you cant help but laugh along with him.

“Look Tomas.” You say managing to stop your giggles. “I need to know, are you going to sell us out to Markus? Because if you are. I will finish the job.”

“No, I wasn't planning on it Kitten. I still have to win your heart remember? I cant be doing that if you're dead.” You roll your eyes at his sideways glance and mischievous smile. Did he really think he was going to get anywhere, after rebuking his every advance? He just did not take the hint. “In all honesty, I like drink and I like women, I would lead a very happy existence if I just had those things. As much as it may come as a surprise to you, I am not a great lover of murder and extortion.”

Lex murmurs in approval and pulls out a small kit and some bandages, seemingly out of nowhere. He hands Tomas his hip flask and makes him drink, you watch as he opens the kit and see various little instruments, and realise that it was a field medical kit. He deftly threads a needle with a type of thread and nods to Tomas who, leaning back on the wall, sighs in apprehension and looks at you needingly.

“Kitten, please, this might be the last time that I will be able to bask in your presence. Hold my hand, I will be in a lot of pain.” You look at him with exasperation and huff. You would rather have swallowed acid, but the expression on Lex's face told you that you had no choice. You trudge over to him and hold his hand begrudgingly, he was really milking it. “Give me a kiss for courage.” You open your mouth to respond, when you hear Tomas yell and clenches your hand tightly, as Lex makes his first stitch into his patients skin.

“Take it easy old timer.” Tomas grunts in pain.

“You whine like baby.” Lex responds disapprovingly, you cant help but giggle at his words.

“You told me you used to be a field medic! So much for your bedside manner.” He whined through gritted teeth, grabbing your hand in a death like grip, so tight, you were sure that the bones in your hand were going to break.

“Medic, yes. On field, most them silent, they did not cry like you.”

“That's because they were  _dead_!” You laugh again as Lex gives you a wink and a sideways grin.

It didn't take long at all for Lex to finish and clean up the wound, you were actually quite impressed and to think he looked like such a brute, but he was a medic before being the Military Police, who would have figured? Tomas had tried every single way he could to get a kiss out of you, from apparently needing mouth to mouth, to checking to see if his mouth had a temperature, with your tongue. Luckily for you, Lex had managed to stitch in time to the comments, which made him lose concentration and start bitching again.

“Lex, we need to get going. I need to see Gus to see if we got a response from Levi.”

“Yes. Tomas, you will not die.” He looks at the still out cold Austin. “Make sure he does not become problem.” Tomas nods, settling down in the corner to rest, and gives you an informal salute goodbye.

You make your way into the street, avoiding the main walkways and head to the inn.

 

~

 

Levi had discussed the next moves with the team, everyone was determined and ready to go. He took a look through the window, Varga seemed to be having another confrontation with the bar keeper, and he deduced that it must have been Gus. He was snapped away from his observations when he heard a mans voice close to them.

“Excuse me, we are looking for a dangerous fugitive, who is on the run.” His question was directed at Jean and Sasha. “She has dressed herself in Military Police clothing so she doesn't get caught. She has (h/c) and is around (height) tall. Have you seen her?” Sasha gave quick look to Levi and slowly walked down the street with the man following her.

“Oh, what did you say she looked like again? And her name?” Her interest in their 'suspect' let her grab his entire attention, Jean followed along after them, keeping a close eye on Sasha. They turned the corner out of Levi's sight, Eren raised an eyebrow at him, but he stayed silent. Minutes later they returned, with Sasha brushing her hands together.

“Well he wont cause us any trouble for a while.” She said with a grin, Jean was giving her a look of sheer amazement.

“She only went and knocked the guy out.” He added with a laugh. Good, thought Levi, one less to deal with. He was quite amused at the whole situation, she had really come out of her shell on their secret mission, and he could see why (first name) was friends with her.

“Varga is shaking Gus down. We need to get a move on, we do not have time for any more disruptions.” They nodded. Jean and Sasha crept down the side of the inn, to check that the back exit was clear of anymore lackeys and were soon out of view. Levi gave Eren a hand movement in the direction of the entrance to the inn, and they proceeded quietly in through the entrance, closing the door silently behind them. It seemed that Varga's rant had caused such a stir, the place was completely empty apart from Gus and another one of his lackeys.

Eren deftly made his way behind the man, and brought him down without any commotion. Varga was none the wiser, and he was laid out of sight from the bar. Levi crept closer to the bar and listened.

“You! You are the only one who would have helped her! I will have your head if you helped her to escape!” Levi noticed Gus look around and caught his eye, he put a finger up to his lips and silently Gus instantly understood, and without even making a reaction, he replied to Varga.

“I did no such thing. After she left you, she came to me and asked to write a letter to her ageing father, she seemed very upset, but I think all she did was tell him that she loved him. Where she went after that I do not know.” Levi could tell that he was covering for her, he knew she had no family left and the message had actually been for himself. He felt slightly relieved that she had managed to find people that cared for her, enough to protect her, at least. Varga grabbed the mans jacket with both hands from the other side of the counter and brought him close.

“Where is she?” He snarled. Levi took his chance, walked silently up behind Varga, while taking a revolver out of his bag, placed it on the back of Varga's head and cocked the gun. Varga froze, as Eren crept round and pulled Gus out of the Captains reach. He span on the spot, arms raised to his chest in submission and looked directly at Levi.

“Well, well, look who it is. Levi Fucking Ackerman. What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Thought I would do a spot of cleaning, I like getting rid of filth and what do you know! The first thing I find is a piece of shit! Word of mouth tells me you killed a man in cold blood. Looks like you're number one, now.” Levi glared at him, his finger desperate to pull the trigger. He knew full well that it wasn't the first person that Varga had shot in his lifetime, so he would have been no great loss, to anyone.

“No, I didn't kill him. It was Kitten, that's why we are out looking for her. She just shot him dead, right in front of me. Knew she was trouble from the word go, she had such a mouth on her, beat the living shit out of her on several occasions to shut her up.” Levi growled and hit the man out of pure rage with the gun, Eren took the chance, grabbed Vargas hands and tied them behind his back, sitting on the counter, he drew his knife, and rested it, just biting Vargas neck.

“You will pay for this.” Levi spat. Varga was going to die.

  
~

 

You had managed to make your way to the inn without anyone seeing you, and as you closed in you could see a man unconscious on the floor, hidden behind some barrels. Lex looks closely at the man and moves you away quickly.

“One of Markus's. Someone already taken him out.” You move closer to the inn, the feeling of anxiety causing your mouth to become dry. You rub the corner of the window pane with your sleeve and peak inside. The sight causes you to cry out in alarm. Varga was being held at gun  _and_ knife point by Levi and Eren. Without even a word to Lex you barge your way into the inn, shortly followed by a bemused Lex.

“LEVI.... No!” You see him turn his head towards you, and his eyes widen in surprise.

“(first name)”

 


	7. Chapter 7

_“LEVI... No!”You see him turn his head towards you, and his eyes widen in surprise._

 

“(first name)!” You watch as Eren follows Levi's eyes and shakes his head in disbelief, Varga, however, was not pleased to see you.

“You are one sneaky Kitten, I see my men didn't find you.” He glares behind you at Lex, seeming a mixture of perplexed and enraged. “I killed you! What the fuck are you doing here? Stupid bastard! If I shoot you, you stay dead!” Eren tightens his grip on Varga, as he struggles to get to the both of you. Lex strides out in front of you, straightening his back and becoming extremely foreboding.

“I do not die because you cannot shoot straight. You tried to kill me and Kotenok! I will see you in pain.” Lex was seething with anger, something you had never really seen before, you panic blindly, running around him and you wrap your arms round his torso, looking up at him pleadingly.

“Lex don't! If we kill him now he cannot answer for his crimes! That man would have died without any justice!” Lex stops walking, gazes down at you in surprise, and his whole demeanour softens visibly in front of you. He strokes your hair lovingly, as a father would a daughter, and smiles at you warmly.

“You are right, little one. You have soul of warrior. A small one, but strong of heart.” His voice initially blunt, turns to its usual tone. You release him slowly, knowing you have managed to calm him and turn to face the others. Levi was glaring icily at Lex, his lips tight, and his face was as always, deadpan. His eyes dart to the left side of your face, identifying the bruises that mottled your skin, and you were sure you could hear a growl emanate from him. However it was Eren who spoke first.

“What happened to you?” He said with concern.

“Varga happened, that's what.” Eren digs in the knife harder at your answer, and your eyes broaden in horror, knowing that he could quite easily kill him in a single second from where he was positioned.

“Stop it! Didn't you just hear what I said?” He rolls his eyes, visibly still not really understanding why and he huffed in defeat. The feeling in the room was tense, and you knew that you had to play this out very carefully. “We need to get him to Military HQ, Lex managed to send word to someone we can trust, when we got out of the hospital.”

“(first name)!” You hear a commotion from the back room and see Sasha running full pelt at you, colliding with you shortly after. “You're okay!” You smile at her, and release yourself from her hug. As much as you appreciated the gesture, you could get to happy reunions later, you give a quick wave at Jean who was quietly leaning against the bar, trying to work out what was going on.

“(first name) I...” Levi started. You look at him and raise a hand to pause his train of thought.

“Not now Levi.” You dismiss his comment and he stares at you with contempt at being cut off. You look to the rest of the occupants of the room. “It would be dangerous for us to go, knowing how many of the members are on the take.”

“Someone like you will never bring me down. I will kill you Kitten, if its the last thing that I do.” Varga spat out his words with malice. You glare at him, he was looking you up and down in the normal lecherous manner, but his eyes told you a different story, if he got the chance, you knew he would. Even though he was restrained, he showed no resistance to being restrained, and it worried you that he was so calm, almost jeering at you. You see his snide grin and flash back to your beating, anger surges through you unexpectedly, and you storm to him, pushing Levi's gun aside.

“You think that you are getting away with this you arrogant Prick?!” He laughs in your face, which only fuels your anger, in the moment of rage, you knee him in the groin. As he is he falls, you crack his head back into the bar behind him, making him slump to the floor unconscious. You give him the same kick in the ribs as he had done to you and taking a deep breath, you walk behind the bar to pour yourself a stiff drink. You turn around to see everyone gawking at you, they seemed to be at a complete loss.

“What the fuck was that?” Levi scolds you, staring at the lump of a man slouched in front of him. Taking a gulp of your drink, you stare at him with cold eyes, your hands still shaking from your altercation. The rest just seemed to be in astonished awe at your actions, they were slightly out of character, even for you.

“What? I didn't kill him did I? And it also solves a problem.” Ending your sentence on a positive note. The room was silent, and you could feel that they were uneasy with your outburst.

“What problem?” Jean asks still in shock.

“Of how we are going to get him to HQ. Now he is unconscious, we can load him up into the cart and ask one of Gus' messengers to take him to the HQ, without us having to go and possibly get tangled up in the rest of the shit that goes along with this wretched place.” You take another long drink.

“That is enough Kotenok.” Lex walks up behind you and takes your glass off you. “Your plan is good. It will work. But enough of drink. Lady should drink wine. Slowly.” You could still feel the adrenaline course through you, but you are caught off guard by Lex's smile, one that you were really quite warming to. You hear Levi scoff from behind a hand, but you chose to ignore it.

“Erm... Can someone explain to me what's going on?” Sasha asked, breaking the tension. You sigh, feeling the energy drain out of you.

“Yeah, I'll explain when we get back to the house.”   
  
It didn't take long to get the unconscious Varga into a cart and pay Gus for the trouble of taking him up to the Military HQ. Levi had been silent ever since you shot him down, and Eren seemed to want to talk the whole time on the way back to the house, when really, after everything that had happened over the last few days, you just wanted to sleep.

 

“I will make tea.” Lex said as he entered the house, he seemed to be in quite a lot of pain. “Make self at home” He motioned to the sofas in the living room. Levi walked around running his finger along the fireplace, surveying the dirt, and wrinkling his nose in disgust. You roll your eyes, and watch as the rest of the team slump down onto the sofas in exhaustion. You smile to yourself, as you finally relax, knowing that Varga was gone, it was nice to have everyone here.

You walk into the kitchen and see Lex leaning on the counter, head held low, he seemed to be breathing raggedly. You come up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder, you close your eyes instinctively after the last time you had done the same action, but no rebuke happened. Lex turns to you, with a weak smile.

“Are you okay Lex?”

“Fine. Just hurting.” You look at him sceptically, and tug on his shirt, in hope that he would show you his wound, it worried you that he may have done some more damage after getting out of the hospital.

“Let me see.” He sighed, undid the buttons, and pulled the shirt aside. Your eyes widen as you see the blood stained bandages. “Oh, Lex, you're bleeding again. We need to change the dressings! Have you still got your kit on you?” He motioned to the table, and you grab it quickly, taking out what you needed. Slowly you unwind the bandages, take a cloth to clean the wound and look over his injury. “I think you have split a few of the stitches.”

“Then you must sew up.” You feel instantly terrified.

“I.. I cant do it!”

“You must. From this angle, I cannot.” You look at him helplessly. “You can do it. Have faith, little one.” You wash the needle in alcohol as he had suggested and threaded it, as you had seen him do with Tomas. You bend over to get a better look, and glance up at Lex, who nods to let you know that you can start. Taking a deep breath you begin, he clenches the counter, and moans in pain. You giggle to yourself that it is a lot manlier than Tomas' whimpering. You had to hand it to the guy, he was made of pure willpower and control and after a few more stitches , you manage to seal the wound once more and cut the end off the thread.

“(first name). Where is the-” You look around at Levi as he walked into the kitchen, his eyes initially widen slightly and then his face turns to fury as he flits his gaze to you, then to Lex and to you again. He tuts in silent anger and storms back out of the room. You turn to you patient, looking worried.

“Thank you Kotenok. Captain Darcy has a temper, no? You should talk, he came for you.” You squirm wondering whether Levi was going to shout at you again, and you bite your lip. “Go. The course of true love has bumpy road.” You laugh, your nerves easing slightly.

“I think you mean 'doesn't run smooth'. You're right. I'll go and talk to him.” You clean your hands on the cloth and walk out to find Mr grumpy.

You walk through the living room and Eren, half way through mid-sentence, points to the front door, so he was having a proper strop then. You sigh as you close the door behind you, and you walk around the side of the house, knowing he would be here. You smile at the sight of him, he was leaning against the wall, tantrum well under way. It was funny, you had been so petrified of him before you left, but being back in the city, after everything you had been through, you realised he really wasn't that scary after all.

“Hey, I've got some toys inside, they'd be perfect for you to throw out of your pram.” Levi turned his head to you and tutted, returning back to his original position. You lean against the wall beside him, and sigh. “Besides that, thank you, for coming to help me.”

“You evidently didn't need my help, you looked like you had it well in hand, or someone at least.” His voice betrayed him, he was angry, but it was now evident to you that he was  _jealous._  You can't help but laugh, he could be really stupid at times.

“You are kidding me, right? Don't tell me that my friendship with Lex has now pissed you off?” He doesn't answer, but his silence told you his reply. “Look, Levi, I don't know what you want from me. I never have, but you seriously need to stop this attitude. All I did was come out here to say thank you and to actually have a conversation with you for once, but if you aren't going to dignify me with a response I wont bother next time. I'll see you inside when you are finished being childish.”

You move to walk away, pausing for a second to see if he responds but when he doesn't you carry on out of the alleyway. You feel your heart fall, you had really thought that he would have at least shown you some concern. When you had seen him in the inn, your heart had skipped a beat. You didn't understand it, but you wanted to know whether it was because he had come to your aid or in the midst of everything there was something deeper. Why you needed to know was beyond you, as you feel the bitter feeling nibbling away at you again, and you walk in doors.

The rest of the team were sitting down enjoying their tea, Lex was with them chatting to them about life in the Survey Corps, and he seemed quite shocked that they didn't have the same corruption as here in the city. Eren shuffles along the sofa, and pats the seat for you to go and sit with him. You do so and he wraps his arms round you, giving you a massive hug and a small kiss on your forehead.

“We really did miss you, you know?” They all beam at you and you cant help but feel complete again, well almost, there was still a part of you which still seemed to be preoccupied with Levi's tantrum. You smile and laugh, it was so good to be back with them.

“Kotenok, these are friends you spoke of?” You nod in response, taking a sip of tea. “I like them, they of good sort.” He looks in the direction of the door. “Captain Darcy has temper of spoilt child.” Everyone else stifles their laughter, Lex had no filter, but he was right.

“Shhhh Lex, you cant say stuff like that!”

“Why? Mr Darcy was proud in book, but good man. He was misunderstood, but this Captain has, what do you say little one? 'Stick-up-arse'” Everyone falls about laughing and you just cannot stop the giggles from coming, you hide behind your hands and figure that you wont repeat any more of your slang names to Lex, he would be the death of you. You laugh for a while longer when your stomach rumbles.

“Right, I'm starving, who wants dinner?” Sasha practically falls off her chair at the mention of food and everyone else agrees that they are rather hungry. “I will go and cook, I wont be long.”

“I'll help you cook” Eren offers.

“No, no its fine. If its okay by you I just need some time to process everything that has happened over the last few days.” Jean and Eren exchange worried looks, but say nothing. “Honestly I'm fine, its a little overwhelming that is all.”

You wander into the kitchen and look through the cupboards for something decent to cook, deciding on something simple but filling. You chop up vegetables, and then skin the potatoes, you note that you should do a few more for Sasha. You heat up a skillet, and cut the chicken into strips, coating them with oil and fresh herbs from the garden that Lex had cultivated, the smell of fresh herbs was intoxicating to one so hungry. You put the pots on to boil for the vegetables, and check the cupboards for some clean plates.

Your thoughts drift off to the horrific murder and the blood, then the blind panic of not knowing whether Lex was dead, the pain from being beaten, and then out of nowhere, Levis arm on your throat, and the icy tendrils of death creeping into your body.

“(first name)” You jump in surprise and drop the plate, hearing it smash on the ground. You look up to see Levi, whose eyes, initially cold, turn to concern. Your heart was beating ten to the dozen, seeing him straight after that flashback was not ideal, in fact you could feel all the pent up emotion desperate to come flooding out. He goes to pick up the pieces of the plate, and accidentally rubs past your hand with his. You gasp and recoil as he does so, your body still on high alert. He scowls at you as you fight back against your weakened emotions.

“What the fuck is the matter with you, brat?” You shake your head and turn from him to wipe the few tears that had escaped from your eyes. You continue picking pieces of plate up, and manage to cut yourself on a part that you had missed. You hiss in pain, and Levi grabs your wrist. “So fucking clumsy.” He pulls you up to have a look, and you stifle a sob. You had promised yourself no more crying, and here you were, practically on the edge of a mental breakdown  _again_.

“Kotenok. I heard noise, is everything-” Lex stops mid-sentence, as he walks in the door, and scowls at the scene before him. He makes a beeline for Levi, and in one fell swoop, has him by the neck, against the wall. “You hurt her. I. Will. Hurt. You.” His voice was angry, but quiet, which made it all the more frightening.

“Get your fucking hands off me!” Levi showed no fear at all, he was even more stupid than you realised. Lex could probably snap him in half, and he was just looking at him as if it were nothing. You watch Lex tense and you place a hand on his arm.

“Lex, its my fault. I dropped the plate, Levi just made me jump, that's all, I was in my own little world and he scared me.” He looks at you with a sideways glance and then reluctantly releases him.

“He should know how to treat Lady. One does not grab or take, he offers.” He wraps your hand in a towel from the counter, still glaring at Levi.

“Good Luck with her then!” He turns to move past Lex, straightening his shirt. Suddenly, The scarred and muscular arm of Lex slams across, barring his path.

“Wait, Captain. I ask you something.” His voice was stern now, almost severe. “Are you so blind not to see I care for Kotenok as brother would? You see only your own jealousy! Not reality. Alexei offer no harm, but one condition.  _You do not hurt her_.” Levi scowled so hard at him, you thought his eyes would fall out. Lex towered over him, and he seemed to finally realise that not only would he be outmatched in a fight; he was acting well below his rank. He nods silently, and once Lex gives way, he walks out of the room. You sigh as you let tears fall down your cheeks, you just can't stop them from coming.

“Do not cry. I know he is strange, has strange hair and acts like baby, but he loves you little one. He may have read book, but he does not know how to show.” You shake your head in disagreement as Lex sits you on the table, cleans your cut and wraps it in a small bandage.

“No Lex. I wasn't crying over him and even if I was, I think he just enjoys tormenting me more than anything.” He smiles as he puts the vegetables into the pans and starts cooking the meat.

“What's going on?” Jean walks in, shortly followed by Eren and Sasha, he see your hand and scowls. “Did he do that?”

“No Jean, I just smashed a plate and cut myself. Don't worry yourself. Where did Levi go?” He raises an eyebrow at you, not really believing you.

“I think he went upstairs, he seemed pissed off. Again.”

“Isn't he always?” Eren quips and follows Sasha to watch Lex cooking. They inhale deeply at the lovely aroma coming from the food now it was cooking and you smile weakly. Eren walks over and stands in front of you, scanning your face to get a read on you. “Look at me.” You raise you head to look him in the eye, and you watch as he tries his best not to look at your bruises. “What happened?” His eyes showing worry, made you feel obligated to explain.

“Well, cut a long story short. Varga and Tomas, they liked to treat me like a trophy, and part of their property. They thought they could do what they liked to me. The other night it got really bad, they were both drunk, and decided that this was the night that they were finally going to... have their way with me. Luckily Lex stopped it from going any further, we came back here, but after a while Varga came back and found me in my room. I might have said a few things..”

“You mean you back-chatted him.” Jean interjected, with a grin beneath a perceptive glance. He knew you better than you gave him credit for.

“Okay, okay. I might have lost it a little with him, but he didn't particularly like it. He hit me, then once I was on the floor he started kicking me. Lex found me, and well the rest is pretty much history.” You can see pity etched into their expressions. “Don't look at me like that.. Seriously, what's done is done. I just need to move on from it now.”

“But credit where credit is due, you knocked the shit out of him at the inn.” Jean laughed, lightening the mood. “You know Sasha knocked one of Varga's men out as well. I think we are being shown up Eren.” You look at your friend and give her a wink. Stretching, you jump off the table, Eren moving out of your way.

“I need to go and get changed, so I'm fresh for dinner, I feel gross.” You walk to the door, when Sasha taps you on the arm, giving you a questioning look. “I'm okay Sasha, I'll be down in a minute.” You run up the stairs, and shut the door behind you closing your eyes, you felt like your head was spinning, and you knew exactly who had caused it, your friends could help for a little while but it didn't take long for the feeling to come back that Levi was completely running you in circles.

“I take it you have been reading the book I gave you.” Your eyes spring open in shock, and you look to your bed, to see Levi sitting quite comfortably reading where you had placed his letter as a book mark. Your mouth gapes open for a second, and you scowl, at yourself, that you hadn't noticed him in your room.

“What are you doing in here?” You snap. “If you hadn't noticed, it's my room.”

“Yes, I am quite aware of that, brat.” He seems amused.

“Don't start calling me brat again. I've had enough of nicknames and anything other than my name thanks.” He slams the book and puts it back on the bed.

“You do not seem to mind Kotenok, is that what Alexei calls you?” You look at him, unamused.

“That is different.”

“How?” His voice was getting heated.

“Because it is a term of affection, not one of property or one to insult.” You cross your arms, feeling like this would never end. It was just a constant argument with him. He was staring at you intently, and if you were honest, it was starting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“So you have feelings for him.”You make a noise of exasperation.

“How many times do we have to tell you. He is like my big brother, I don't have feelings like  _that_ for him, he said that to you downstairs, or are you deaf now? And while we are on that subject I don't have feelings for Eren like  _that_ either! ” You couldn't help but get irate at him, he was just ignoring everything you had said to him.

“I see.” What? Was that it? After all that?

“Seriously Levi, I don't get you. You confuse me, and then berate me for  _your_  split personality. I just don't know know what to do around you.” His eyes flash, and a small smile creeps in from the corners of his mouth.

“There are a few things you could do.” The change in him was profound, his eyes were no longer hard, but were mischievous in their gaze. You try to avoid them, and make your way to the drawers for some clean clothes.

“I am not cleaning for you Levi, if that's what you have in mind.” You sense him move, and feel his form behind you, his hand gently tracing down your arm. You look at his hand in shock, not moving, for fear that he would do something awful again. He takes your hand, and turns you around, you cant help but feel wooden and ungraceful in your confusion. Your heart was beating like you were running the marathon, and you realise that you are holding your breath. Something in the air made you very aware that he was not angry at you; In fact, you could only describe the mood as intense, filled with unbridled anticipation. He cups your cheek, and runs a finger across your bruised skin, and you were sure he almost looked sad for a moment. His eyes were so different now, they didn't even look like they belonged to him, you had never seen him look this way before.

“What-” He silences you with a gentle finger to your lips, and brushes his hand behind your neck, pulling you closer to him. You could almost hear your pulse quicken in your ears, and it was so loud that you couldn't hear anything else. You are lost for a moment as your eyes lock, and he places the most gentle of kisses on your lips. You feel the soft, warm caress of his to yours, and it makes your own tingle. There was something so tender about his actions that you could scarcely believe it was happening. Logic and reason leave you; nothing makes sense but all seems right at the same time. You feel the tension and stiffness melt away as you return the kiss in earnest, just revelling in the moment.

“Dinner's ready!” The door bursts open to reveal one very confused Eren. “Er... When you are...” Turning bright red, he promptly shuts the door a little too heavily and you hear him run back down the stairs, shortly followed by very audible gasps from the occupants of the kitchen and a deep laugh that could only have come from Lex. You reluctantly pull away from Levi, and feel yourself also turn a rather bright shade of crimson, not really knowing where to look.

“(first name), come back with us tomorrow. We need you in the Corps.” Still startled from what had just happened, you felt at a complete loss. Once again, he had not only completely moved the goal posts,  _he'd_   _flipped the fucking playing field..._ Was this a joke? Was this just another tactic to screw you over? But it had been so full of feeling, yet so chaste. He had not pushed you into it, and he had not really forced himself on you either. Your mind was swimming with conflicted thoughts and you were starting to get another headache.

“I need to think about it. I need to what's best.”

“Tsk!” He leaves you alone in the room, completely stunned and confused. 


	8. Chapter 8

Your hands shake as you strip wash and change your shirt into your favourite dark green one, this new Levi was a force to contend with, he scared you before, but that was nothing to the way he was now. He crushed every wall that you had put up and decimated anything that you could use to defend against him in one simple move. Your fingers touch your lips, where his had been, it almost felt like it hadn't happened and more like a teenage daydream. Your heart flutters as you think back to how he had been and you cant stop yourself from blushing again.

It was not how you were supposed to feel! If anything weren't you meant to be annoyed at him? What were you pissed off about again? Did it warrant still being bitter, whatever it was? You were full of new feelings, strange butterflies in your stomach, jittery legs and hands which did not know what to do with themselves. If this was a new tactic to screw you up, it was definitely working, what the hell was he playing at?

You take a deep breath, realising you would have to face everyone downstairs. You take your time and stop before the doorway, steeling yourself against what was to happen and you walk in. Everyone's eyes shoot straight to you, no one said anything but the knowing smiles were enough to make you want to run out of the room and fall down a very dark hole. You walk over to your seat, noticing that you had been sat next to Levi, you pause, looking to Eren sitting opposite, who was giving you a look under his eyebrows. He didn't seem amused; you muse that the sight he had witnessed had finally sunk in, and he was silently showing his displeasure.

You sit down, and catch Sasha's eye, who was desperate to talk to you, you only hoped she didn't do it at the table. Lex had already dished up the food, and it smelt amazing. He sat the other side of you at the head of the table, and gave you a wink. You bite your lip and blush, no one had said anything but it was bad enough already.

“Thank you Lex, it looks lovely.” You smile, hoping to distract from the elephant in the room.

“I did nothing. Prepared by you, we should thank you.” Everyone agreed, and dug in to their meal. It was only after they had satisfied their growling bellies that the conversation started again. Lex was regaling everyone with tales of the funniest moments of being with the Military Police, when you felt something on your leg. You tense, unsure what the hell it was, when you feel fingers find their way up to your hand resting on your lap, and lace fingers with yours. You give Levi a sideways look, he does not turn his head, but you notice a smirk hiding in the corner of his mouth.

You try to act normal, and continue on with your conversation. You could feel his thumb softly rubbing the skin of your hand, you shudder, this simple gesture was sending a million different nerves into overdrive and your heart started thumping again. You look to him once more, trying to get a read on what his intentions were, but you were only greeted with an even bigger sideways smirk, meant only for you. He was  _teasing you!_

“Woah, you have gone as red as a tomato!” Jean points out. In haste you remove your hand from Levi's and place it on the table, feeling overwhelmed that your body was betraying you in front of everyone! You scowl at him playfully, and laugh it off the best you can. You can feel his hand retreating, but not without gliding his fingers tantalisingly down your thigh.

“Oh! I think it was eating the food so quickly.” You wipe your brow. “Wow, it is quite warm in here isn't it. I think I will take the bins out and get some fresh air.” You excuse yourself, but catch the eye of Levi, who seemed to be watching your every move with a degree of amusement; and to your annoyance, the smirk was still lingering on his lips.

Quickly you grab the bags, and make your way out the front door, glad to be in the fresh air away from Levi. This turn around of his character was something that you could not fathom and you weren't sure whether you liked it. His attention previously had been solely, from your point of view, cold and harsh but now it was like he had turned up the heat and was determined to have you, at any cost. Your body shudders out of anticipation at the thought and you try to shake the feeling of being extremely turned on by the prospect. You scowl at yourself as you put the bag in the bin down the side of the house.

“Psst... Kitten” You hear a whisper from the shadows. Your eyes dart around, scanning the area for the source of the noise and you find your knife on your belt. You were not going to take any chances. Slowly you see a figure walking slowly towards you, you squint, in order to get a better look at the one who had just spoken. As they come further into view, you realise there would be no point anyway, as they wore a long hood, which covered a lot of their face in shadow. “Shh... Stay quiet.” You recognise the voice.

“Tomas?”

“Shhh! Keep it down.” He urges you in hushed tones.

“What are you doing here?” Giving him a perplexed look.

“I'm not here to cause any trouble, the Military Police are after me as Varga decided to drop me in the shit, so this is only a passing visit. I just wanted to tell you that Varga is on the loose. Somehow he managed to escape, I wanted to warn you and the big guy, because he is gunning for you. Just...” He hesitates. “Just be careful.” He walks past you and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Stay safe.” He leaves without another word, disappearing into the shadows as if he had never been there.

You remain there, frozen to the spot. If Varga was out, then that meant big trouble for both you and Lex. This wasn't good, he knew you would be at the house and he knew that all of you would be off guard unknowing he had escaped. Right now you were the perfect target. You were also out on the street all on your own. You quickly make your way round the side of the house, trying very hard to maintain composure and breathe a sigh of relief when you reach the front door.

As if from no where, a rough hand slaps over your mouth and grabs you, pinning your arms in a vice like grip. You try to scream but it is muffled by the hand, you try to see your attacker but are given no room to move. You smell old ale and blood as you are pulled away from your house. You kick and scream but nothing helps. You try to grab your knife from your belt but fumble during the struggle, and it falls to the floor with a harmless “thud”.

“I wouldn't if I were you Kitten.” You gasp, the only voice it could be was Varga's. You struggle even more, knowing if you didn't get free you would definitely be dead before the night was out. No one would know where you had gone, and no one would know who had taken you. You were well and truly fucked...

 

~

 

“Hasn't (first name) been outside for a while?” Sasha asks with a hint of worry in her voice.

“Levi must have scared her!” Jean jeered, avoiding a scowl from both Levi and Eren.

“You are right. I will check for her.” Lex gets up from the table.

“No. I will go. You idiots will probably only embarrass her more.” Levi huffed and got up from his seat. As soon as he had opened the front door, he knew something was wrong. He took a quick look around the side of the house and saw no sign of her, making his way back, he scanned the ground for anything that may have told him what had happened. He didn't find anything, it was only when he went to push the door open, he looked to the floor and saw that the dirt had deep furrows in it. Earth was scattered over the pathway, and following the debris he came across a knife. Standard issue for the survey corps.

“Levi?” Jean poked his head out from the door way. “What's up?”

“She's gone.” Levi answered torn between anxiety and anger. Jean disappeared for a second, only to be followed out by the rest of the team. They hurried over to him, with worried stained faces and the air was filled with a hundred unanswered questions.

“Only one could do this.” Lex paused, visibly controlling his anger. “Varga did this.” Sasha shook her head in disbelief.

“But he has been locked up, it couldn't be him!”

“You heard what (first name) said. The whole organization is corrupt, all he has to do is grease the palm of the right person and he is out!” Eren wiped his brow, feeling the weight of his words and everyone fell silent as if mutually feeling the same burden.

“He also said that if he saw her again, she was dead.” Levi said, more thinking aloud than actually conversing with them. He had only just put his pride aside to show her what he felt, and she had been snatched away from him again. He was not going to stand for this again, first Erwin and now Varga.

“If you hadn't kissed her then she wouldn't have gotten so embarrassed and had to go outside!” Eren snapped, glaring at Levi.   
  
“Shut the fuck up Jaeger! Its not the first time-” Levi stopped mid-sentence half from Eren's shouting, but secondly because he knew that he had let too much slip, it was none of their business. Everyone's eyes fell on him, Sasha and Lex did not appear to be so shocked, they must have known, Eren and Jean, were completely stunned.

“You WHAT!?!” Eren yelled, grabbing hold of Levi's collar. “Who the fuck do you think you are, even touching her? After what you have done!” Levi grabbed his wrist and yanked Eren's hand away from him. “All of this is your fault! None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you! She wouldn't have even have been in the city if you had just kept away from her. You have caused her nothing but grief. She used to cry herself to sleep, if she even slept because of the nightmares that you gave her!”   
  
Levi was initially going to shout him down, but the last sentence struck a nerve. Had he really caused her that much pain? Had she really cried herself to sleep over what he had done, he stared at the palms of his hands, angry at himself and pissed off with Eren knowing so much more about her than he did.

“Tsk. The fact that she did not trust you enough to tell you is not my problem. I cannot change the past, nor undo what happened. So get the fuck over it. I am tired of hearing your shit. It isn't going to get her back is it?” Levi was angry and could have easily have beaten the living crap out of him, but against his instincts, he restrained himself for the better good. Eren was an annoyance, and one that wouldn't go away, and he contemplated a way to get him out of his hair for good. Eren went for him again but was dragged away from the group by Lex and given stern words.

“Can we just stop this? We need to know where she went.” Jean interrupted Levi's thoughts, he nodded and scanned the area for anything more that could provide them with a clue as to where she was taken.

“Lex? Do you know any hideouts that Varga might be using?” Sasha asked as Eren and he walked back to them.

“Safe house? Yes, there is one. Other side of the city. A way into the underground from there.” Levi looked up from where he was, his eyes abnormally wide compared to his usual gaze. The colour drained from his face, and Lex nodded. “Yes, Captain. If he takes her there, she will be lost to us.”

“We need to go now.” Levi set off, following Lex, with the rest of the team running behind them completely confused as to why the situation was so dire.

 

~

WARNING!!!!!!  
  
  


You cry out as you are thrown into a very solid wall, and you wince as you can feel the searing pain from your already fractured ribs course through your torso. Dropping to the floor, you cough, clenching your fist in agony and as you take your hand away from your mouth, you see blood. Varga laughs.

“I have you all to myself now Kitten. You are completely at my mercy, and my oh my, am I going to enjoy this before I kill you.” You scuttle backwards into the wall as he walks closer, his eyes were full of lust; bloodlust “Is kitten scared? You should be, you do not know how much shit you got me in!”

“You deserved it! You're a murderer.” You wipe your mouth and glare at the man before you, he really was the embodiment of everything that you hated in men. A trait you had originally seen in Levi before you had the chance to understand his actions but this one... He was the real deal.

“If it wasn't me, it would only be someone else who couldn't stand your bullshit any more!”

“No one is as stupid as you.” His hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you to a standing position. You hear him laugh under his breath, as he slams you back into the wall, one hand on your wrist and the other at your throat. “Such a shame that I will have to kill you, I could quite easily see myself using you over and over again.”

You struggle but his hand stays firm on your throat, only as a threat rather than a full out attempt at taking your life and you knew that you wouldn't be so lucky to have it that easy. He presses himself against you, pinning your smaller frame to the wall, and pushes your head to the side. He licks your skin and bites the side of your neck, it was almost healed from Levi's attack but had been left sensitive. You yelp as you feel his teeth dig in.

“Get off me!” You writhe to get free, and go to knee him in the groin again but are only granted a slap across the face. Varga growls at you in displeasure and moves away, smiling at you with evil intent. You rub your neck, trying to get whatever trace of him off you.

“You are feisty. I like that, maybe I will wait a little longer before I kill you.” He begins playing with his knife, twirling the point on his fingertip. “Maybe we can play a game, for my entertainment.”

“No. I am not playing anything.” You feel the knife slice through the skin between your shoulder and your neck before you even see him move. You raise your hand to the same place and on inspecting your hand covered in blood you realise that there was no option but to play his loathsome game.

“I think you will.” His tone was cold, with a hint of amusement. He walks past you and retrieves the knife from the wall, laughing at you shuffling away from him and paces back to the other side of the room. “I am hoping that Vasilev will notice you are missing, he will come and do the  _honourable_  thing to save you and finally I can take the traitorous fucker out.” You scowl at him.

“What do you mean traitorous?” He had peaked your interest, if only slightly.

“I'm surprised he didn't tell you, considering over the last few days you have been stuck together. The fucker has been working for internal affairs, trying to scope me out and catch me red-handed.” He sneered and spat at the floor. “He thought I wouldn't find out! HAH!”

“Not like you didn't deserve it.” You mumble, he obviously hears you and raises the knife to throw it at you again but changes his mind, his face becoming more intense with whatever evil intentions he had.

“As for that precious Captain of yours. If he crosses my path again, I will kill him. He called me filth, and looked down at me as if I was shit on his shoe. I will not have it. I doubt he would let Lex come on his own and I can kill two birds with one stone.” He laughs to himself. “I heard on the grapevine that Ackerman has a thing for you, which is the reason that you were kicked out of the corps.”

“That's not true!” You shout, grabbing your shoulder and your ribs as the pain surges through you again. “It was because we argued!” Why you were justifying it to him was anyone's guess. He couldn't be right, even after everything. He couldn't be right, could he? Varga gives you a mirthless laugh and approaches you again, you realise you wouldn't be able to defend yourself as well as you had liked, and you needed to think of a way out of this.

“I don't believe that Kitten. I think he wants you all to himself.” He trails a finger up your arm, around your throat and along your jaw line. “I think I should spoil you for him. He wouldn't want sloppy seconds, would he!” He grabs you, pulling you into a hard kiss, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, repulsed, you struggle and in retaliation, he bites your lip. “Yes, I think I might.”   
  
He grabs you shirt and slashes it with his knife, leaving your torso exposed apart from your underwear and you let out a cry as you try desperately to cover yourself up. A very different fear wells up inside you, you were now having to protect your dignity rather than your life, and it was far more terrifying than you could ever have imagined. If he managed to do it, you would accept death. Being violated was not on your agenda, nor something you were willing to live with.

He slams you into the wall with the knife against your neck, to stop you from struggling. His hands all over your skin and you cry out at every revolting touch. You felt like you were going to throw up, his hands made you feel like convulsing and the lack of care towards you made you feel like a slab of meat.

“Dont. Please.” You whisper meekly, tears spilling over your cheeks, you felt so weak and so helpless. You hear him laugh, while tasting your skin, and you feel a scream well in your throat as he tugs at your trousers. “NO! Don't do it. Just kill me!”

“Shut it!” He cracks your head into the wall behind you and you feel the world go black.

 

~

 

“Levi, where the hell are we going?”

“If he takes her underground we are fucked, if we ever think of getting her back. She will be treated like a toy, for any pleasure that a man might have, that's if Varga doesn't kill her first.”

“Underground?” Sasha asks breathless from running.

“I will explain later, but if you think that the MP are corrupt, that pales in comparison to the underground. Trust me.”

“What do you mean?” Jean adds.

“It doesn't matter, I will explain later.” They slow down on Lex's orders and he points to the house that they were searching for. Even though they were all fighting fit, the desperate run to get there had left them out of breath.

“It is here. If here, he will take her to basement. The stairs down are to left from entrance. Best to go quietly. Prepare yourselves, we may be too late.” Lex's voice was grave and his eyes despairing at his own words. Levi uncharacteristically patted him on the shoulder, in an effort to give him hope, not knowing it was for his own benefit as well. They walk quietly to the house and find the door unlocked. Varga was far too confident for his own good, great for them but still shockingly stupid.

Levi gestured to the others to hold back while he and Lex crept down the stairs as quietly as they could. They were rickety and old, probably not stable enough for the both of them but it didn't matter to Levi, he needed to find her. As Levi got to the bottom of the stairs he could hear whimpering and pitiful cries, ones that could only have belonged to (first name). He felt his body tense at the sound, and his anger rising. Lex motioned him to calm down silently and to take a deep breath, he did so and focussed himself. Lex nodded and on queue, kicked the door in.

Levi was stunned as the scene entered his vision. She was laying on the floor, practically naked, apart from her underwear, and she was bleeding from multiple places. Varga was crouched over her attempting to take the last remnants of her underwear off of her. Rage burst over him, seeing her so weak, vulnerable and exposed in front of another man was more than he could handle. Grabbing his knife he slashed Varga across the back, and managed to get another glancing blow to his arm before he was pushed towards (first name) by Lex, who struck Varga across the face.

“(first name).” Being up close to her only made him realise how much damage he had actually done to her. Most of the wounds were superficial, more for torture than to be lethal, but the gash on her shoulder was quite deep. She seemed to be in a stupor and when he held her in his arms she was limp. Brushing the hair out of her eyes, he noticed that she had blood in her hair and instinctively touched the back of her head, looking up at the blood stained wall, realisation hit him that he had smashed her head into it. She was freezing cold and her clothes were in ruins, trying his best to keep calm, he looked about for something to cover her up in.

He heard the table smash behind him, as Lex threw Varga into it. Lex was shouting in a language he didn't understand, but Levi knew that he had him well in hand. He heard scrabbling on the stairs, and noted Eren and the others had heard the commotion. Eren looked at the girl in his arms and Levi could feel the anger radiate off of him, the others didn't really know where to look due to the state of her undress.

“Did he do this?” Levi nodded, even though he found it a highly stupid question. Eren instantly jumped into the fight with Varga, intent on tearing the guy apart.

“Jean, can you find something to wrap (first name) up in? She is freezing. Quickly. Sasha come here.” Jean nodded in earnest and dashed around to find something to cover her with. “He has tortured her quite badly, I need you to stay with her while I kill him for fucking touching her!” Sasha smiled hesitantly at Levi, as she cradled (first name) in her arms.

“I knew it.” Her smile recognised her knowledge of Levi's feelings for (first name), if he had the time he would have shot her down in flames, but there wasn't. She glanced over at the fight. “I'd do it soon before Lex and Eren beat you to it.”

 

~

 

“Levi?” You blink, your eyesight hazy and your head splitting with pain, making you feel woozy. You could make out the noise of fighting and you panic. You struggle to get up, but are pushed down as you feel a warm blanket covering you.

“No, calm down. Its Jean and Sasha. Don't worry we are here, he wont hurt you.” Your eyes begin to focus and you see that you are being held in the lap of Sasha, with Jean the other side of you. You hearing clears enough to understand the words being shouted merely meters away from you.

“You fucking touched her! I will rip your fucking hands off and shove them in your god damned mouth.” You hear Levi's voice above the din.

“So what! I enjoyed her so you couldn't!” Varga's voice was slurred but from the position you were in you couldn't see what was going on. “She is ruined now, worthless.” You hear another deafening thud and you force yourself into a sitting position. Eren was sporting a lovely bruise to his left eye, and Lex had a split lip. Levi, however, was standing on top of Varga's now prone body, with his foot on his throat.

“You fucking say that again! You piece of shit! If you dare say anything about the woman I-” He stops as Varga laughs at him, and you look at him in shock, woman he what? What was he going to say?! You see him press harder on his throat, all decency leaving you, clutching the blanket to the front of your body, you shakily but as quick as you possibly can, make your way over to him.

“Levi... Stop.” You knees threaten to give way and you stretch your arm out to balance yourself. His head snaps round to you; stunned to hear your voice so close by. You hear a shuffle behind you, as you speak and notice the blanket covering your dignity. You are sure that you see his features soften as he looks at you, wavering before his next move.

“That is quite enough.” All eyes turn to the door to see Commander Erwin and you freeze, for the first time feeling very under dressed. You try your best to salute, but stagger backwards landing in a heap on the floor, cushioned by Jean. Erwin moves aside and you notice two other members of the Military Police file in from the stairs, remove Levi from his position and take Varga into their custody. “I see that you have been keeping out of trouble.” His raised eyebrow matching his wry smile, however, you could tell that he was not amused. Everyone stayed silent, half in shock, half trying to figure out a way to tell him what had happened.

“Sir, Let me explain.” Eren starts, only to be stopped silently by Erwin's hand.

“I do not want your excuses. I think it would be best to adjourn this conversation until we get back to your dwellings. I think Cadet (last name) is in desperate need of clothing.” He looks at you disapprovingly and you give him a weak smile of apology.

Sasha helps you up from your crumpled state in Jeans lap and huddles you in a corner to hide you, while you adjust your newest fashion statement, to have at least a modicum of decency. She passes you your ripped top, looking at it, you silently mourn the passing of your favourite item of clothing but realise that you could use it to at least help your state of undress. Quickly you put the top on, the slice right down the middle enabling you to tie it up in the middle, locking the blanket in place. Sasha smiles meekly at you as you stare back into the room, only to notice a cold glare from Levi towards the Commander.

“Dressed?” Erwin asks sarcastically. You nod, feeling really woozy, you balance yourself on the wall next to you. Levi senses this and begins to walk towards you, Lex, however, stops him in his tracks and shakes his head. Lex walks over to you, leans down to you ear and whispers.

“I think it best for me to help. If Captain Darcy does, Commander Impressive Eyebrows will get angry, no?” You try your best to stifle a laugh, thinking that Lex might have spent a little too much time with you and your weird name giving, but you agree willingly. Within seconds you were being held, almost cradled by Lex, as he walks you out of the room, you can hear growling from underneath Levi's breath. For the love of all things good, what the hell was he getting angry for now, sometimes you wonder what the hell had happened to him to make him this way. It was as if someone had stolen his favourite teddy and was now sulking about it. Lex stops and looks over his shoulder.

“We go now,  _Commander Catapillars?”_ You look up at Lex mystified at his name calling, he winks at you as you hear Erwin mutter something very colourful under his breath.  


	9. Chapter 9

_“We go now, Commander Caterpillars?” You look up at Lex mystified at his name calling, he winks at you as you hear Erwin mutter something very colourful under his breath._

 

 

The night was cold, only wearing an old blanket didn't really help keep you warm and you were glad for Lex's body warmth, in fact, he was actually really warm, which kept you going on the walk home. You felt a little pathetic being carried everywhere, but if you were honest with yourself, you knew you wouldn't have been able to walk all the way home unaided. 

Lex threw the keys at Eren who opened the door, and each of those who were involved in the fight went their separate ways to clean up. Lex takes you upstairs followed quietly by Sasha, and in entering your room, places you gently onto the bed. 

“Sasha, bowl of warm water and first aid kit from downstairs, please.” She nods, looking worried about you and hurries back downstairs. He turns back to you and gives you a weak smile. “Kotenok, you are pale. It worries me. What he did to you...” He pauses, breathing deeply in a visible effort to keep calm. “I told you no more pain. I fail, he cause pain again.”

“Lex, don't blame yourself, nobody knew he had got out. If you hadn't come when you did, I dread to think what would have happened. Thank you for coming so quickly.” 

“I am not one to thank. Darcy was insistent to find you right away. He not stop running until we reach house.” He nods to himself. “I did not know one so short could run as far.” He laughs under his breath and you cant help but find it amusing. Sasha came into the room with the items that Lex had requested and lays them down next to him. 

“The boys wanted to know how you are doing?” 

“I'll be fine once Lex here has patched me up. Don't look like that, I'm not going to die. I'll be right as rain in no time!” You say with an uncharacteristic optimism, its enough to make Sasha smile and leave you to it. You look at your burly guardian who seems impatient to get on with his work. “Hey, cheer up! Do you need me to take my clothes off?” Your question makes a blush flutter over his cheeks and he looks away from you. 

“My apologies Kotenok. Your words, they make me embarrassed to be said that way. I am not accustomed to these words. No intent is meant by my reaction.” He seemed flustered, perplexed you laugh. 

“Really? I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable. Let me rephrase, erm, would it be best to remove the blanket so you can tend to my wounds?” You try really hard to keep it as unprovocative as possible and you see that it works. 

“Yes. Please. Best to start with shoulder and then head, that is worst pain.” He helps you take off the top that you had tied over the blanket and he inspects it, dabbing the wound with a damp cloth to get a better look. “Clean cut. It will be easy to stitch, not so much bleeding now. Turn your head and I will see damage.” You do so, noting him doing the same thing as he had done your shoulder. “This will just need cleaning, there is graze. May I see the rest of damage?” His sentence ends quite timidly, and you wonder why his attitude had changed, maybe what you said to him really had put him on edge. 

“Lex, I didn't mean to make you feel awkward. I'm really sorry.” You pause watching him intently. “How about I just lower the blanket to my hip as he didn't hurt my legs?”

“Yes, that is good plan.” You see him relax and you unwind the blanket from your torso and lower it down to your hips exposing your upper body, apart from your bloodstained bra. “These cuts are small, barely bleed at all. I will start with shoulder, it will hurt. You will need to be strong little one. Close eyes, breathe deeply and concentrate on my voice.” 

You do as he says as he begins to hum, his voice so deep it resonates with you to your core and quietly he starts to sing. You do not know the words as they were in a different language but you feel yourself slipping into a trance like state. So deep in fact, that you almost felt like you weren't in your own body and more like watching yourself from a distance. You know that he started stitching your skin back together, even though it hurt, you feel detached from it as if it were happening to someone else. His voice lulled you even further, so you could barely tell that anything was happening at all, so far so that you eventually find yourself falling asleep. 

~

You are roused by the sound of crashing, and the familiar sound of someone storming into the room. Groggily you rub your eyes, and on opening them see a Levi glaring up to an indifferent Lex. The meditative state that Lex had put you under made you feel woozy and made it difficult to work out what was going on. 

“You should have finished ages ago. What were you doing just touching her?” Levi was angry but his tone was hushed. 

“I do not understand Levi. I was cleaning wounds, I have been doing so for the past hour. Why are you angry? I am doing what was asked.” Lex was bemused, and a little annoyed. 

“As if she hasn't been through enough with people touching her in an unwanted way.” Levi was really angry and scowling. You frown and sit up, the blanket still covering your bottom half. 

“She!” You hiss at Levi. “She has been tended to by a brilliant medic, who is fantastic at what he does. He has never once touched me inappropriately, unlike someone else in this room.” You stand up, dropping the blanket on the floor, storming over to Levi, completely unabashed by how little clothing you were now not wearing. “Please tell me what right you have to come in here and accuse Lex of something that he would never do! You lord it up wherever you go and think that everyone has to answer to you! How dare you slander him, he has done nothing but help me, and all you can do is throw daggers at him every time that he is even within a foot of me!” 

“You misunderstand me. I was only-” You notice his eyes quickly drop to your barely covered body, an instinctive action maybe, but it only caused the anger to flare up even higher. 

“Eyes. Face. Ackerman.” He looked a little taken aback that you had noticed and by your tone. “I do not want to hear another word about this, do you understand me? Yes I have been through shit, but I will not have shit thrown around about my friends, who have done nothing wrong.” It shocked you a little that you were even speaking to him this way, but you weren't on his team any more and he wasn't even a commanding officer in the MP so he had no power over you. “We will talk about this later. Leave.” You point at the door and watch as he gives you a small grin, and waltzes out of the room. What had you done that was so amusing to him? You turn to Lex. 

“I do not know. He is jealous, even of me. Hah! Stupid Darcy!” You laugh and resign yourself to never really understanding Levi at all. “I shall leave so you can wash and dress. We will see you downstairs? I think Caterpillars wants to have word.” You nod your head, giggling at his name calling and proceed to clean yourself up. You change into your daily uniform, take a deep breath and make your way down the stairs, realising how exhausted you were. It had been a very long two days, the evening was getting late again, and you really could have done with some sleep, still, Erwin wanted to give you an ear bashing, so you may as well get it over and done with. 

You walk into the living room and see everyone sitting down, Lex was leaning on the wall, Levi brooding in the corner and Erwin was pacing, obviously waiting for you to join them. He motions you to sit down and you carefully wedge yourself in between Eren and Jean, giving them both a squeeze on the thigh for luck. 

“Right. I am not one for lectures, but I am at my wits end with you lot. I have had to constantly break Captain Levi and (first name) up due to their altercations, I then have to send (first name) away, and even when I do that.” He looks directly at you. “You still cant keep yourself out of trouble. You get yourself into shit and the first thing you do is send a letter to the one that I sent you here to get you away from!” His gaze shoots to Levi and then around the room. “I told Captain Levi that under no circumstances, to come here, as we cannot get involved,  yet you all blatantly disregarded me and tried to get Mikasa and Armin to try and cover for you. It was cowardly and dishonest!” You watch as everyone seemed to be bowing their heads, while Eren and Levi were looking more annoyed than anything. 

“I finally get here, and find out that (first name) has been involved in a murder and Varga has been taken into custody.”

“I didn't have anything to do with-” You interrupt but are glared into silence by the commander. 

“That is irrelevant. I then find you have been kidnapped and everyone else has run off trying to find you. When the internal affairs and I find you, I see that Varga doesn't have one unbroken bone in his body, (first name) is practically naked and you are all in a mess yourselves! What a disgrace this is to the Survey Corps! What the heck am I supposed to do with you? I am in the right mind to dismiss you all for your actions.” The gasp echoed from around the room, everyone had turned pale.

“I think that is a bit fucking rash don’t you?” Levi interjected with spite in his tone.

“Sir, we had to help! Surely you can understand that! If Hanji was in trouble you would go out of your way to help her wouldn't you?” Eren joined in with indignation. 

“That is besides the point. You have blatantly disregarded orders at every given point and you (first name) have been at the centre of most of it.” Erwin’s eyes flashed at you, he was angry but what he was saying didn't make any sense to you at all. He wasn't really listening, let alone seeing the situation from any one of your eyes. 

“I think that is enough Commander.” You hear Lex say, straightening from his lent position on the wall. Your eyes dart from Lex to Erwin in quick succession and then back again, what was going on here? “I agree they could have done it a little better, but they acted with noble intention. They did it out of pure love for friend, even if it meant they would be in your anger. What is the Survey Corps if it is not about sacrifice for loved ones?” Erwin's eyes narrowed. 

“Alexei. Do not get involved.”

“No Commander. I think you need to hear this. The situation was not ideal, but you knew what Varga is like and still you sent Kotenok, (first name), anyway. You put this on yourself. Do not blame them for your mistake.”

“I will not be spoken to like this!”

“Caterpillars! Be silent!” Everyone looked at Lex open mouthed, even Levi. His tone was so commanding and he seemed to have Erwin on the spot, nobody could work out why there was a sense of superiority coming from Lex and to be speaking to Erwin like a child was suicide due to his lower rank. “I do not remind you, that I trained you to be hard but a good person. To listen to reason and know when you are fool.” 

“Trained?!” Jean blurted out. 

“Yes. I trained Erwin when he was in training Corps.” Everyone stayed in stunned silence, apart from Eren who whispered in a sing song voice 'Its a small world after all' You smile against your will and jab him in the arm, eyes still fixed on the drama unfolding in front of you. 

“As I was saying” Lex continued. “Erwin Smith, I trained you. I raised you through hardship and battle with respect for all, above and below. I teach you so much that when you lead, others follow willingly.” His eyes darken, and you can almost _feel_ the aura emanating from Lex. Erwin was attempting to maintain composure and rapidly failing. “Yet here you stand, once again falling down to the expectations of others training with you.” His voice seems to almost rumble around the room. “You, here now with own head so far up arse you can still feel daylight!” Erwin opens his mouth to retort, but is stopped by Lex, his voice now turning to a roar. “HOW DARE YOU! YOU TREATING INNOCENT CADET LIKE PLAYTHINGS. I KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR ORDERS THAN YOU THINK! I KNOW YOU BOW TO MONEY OF VARGA’S TEAM COMMANDER!” 

Then… it all went to hell…

“You fucking what! FUCKING BRIBES?!” Levi thundered from the other side of the room. 

“Lex Please tell me you’re kidding?” You ask hopefully, he shakes his head sadly, almost seeming like his respect in Erwin was completely destroyed. Eren was glaring at Erwin with spite and Jean and Sasha just looked shocked, angry and were desperately trying to make sense of the situation.

“Its not how you think-” 

“How else could it be?” Levi spat. “You spouted all that shit about not getting involved with Military Police business and I thought it was just due to political bullshit! You completely  disregarded the safety of one of your subordinates because someone had you bent over a barrel. You make me sick. (First name) could have been killed because of this! You have fucked me off for the last time Erwin.” You look to Levi, he had done it again, the way he worded things. Was there really something there? He was so fired up and not just because you all had found out that Erwin was dirty, there was something else. He had moved from his position in the far side of the room and was advancing towards the Commander. You move to block his way, your eyes fearful of how the situation was turning out but you almost seemed invisible to him, he didn't even look at you. You grab the shirt on his chest and try to get his attention, he looks down at you, a flicker of softness dances in his eyes, but as soon as it had come, it had disappeared, he looks away again, brushing you aside. “Not now.”

Within seconds Levi had crossed the room and punched Erwin, on cue, Eren, who had been quietly seething, jumped in on the fight that was now ensuing. Sasha had managed to stop Jean from jumping in, but she was having trouble keeping him down. He desperately struggled to get out of her grasp, but she wasn't going to let him, even if it meant getting hit herself. At least someone had the sense to try and remain calm, Lex, however, seemed completely drained. You had never seen that look in his eyes, they were empty and before you knew it he crossed the room and walked out of the front door. 

The horror of the whole scenario was heartbreaking, everyone was hurting, in one way or another and feeling betrayed. Your whole world seemed to crumble in front of you, all of the love, the support and the unity had simply vanished in a simple sentence. As much as you loved Lex, letting that information slip had irreversibly damaged the team. Despair didn't even begin to cover what you felt, the fact that you had been used as a pawn in some pathetic scheme as bribery and that there was no other reason for you to have had any of this shit happen to you, made you feel very insignificant. 

“STOP!” You scream at the top of your lungs, barely able to hold back your tears. Surprisingly everyone does stop, looking at you confused. “Please just stop.” You voice trails off into a whisper, your eyes falling to the ground, tears streaming down your face. 

“Whats-” Eren starts. 

“Just stop, if its the one thing that I get as a Birthday Wish. Please stop fighting.” You point at the clock, which had struck midnight five minutes previous. You take no notice of the occupants of the room and walk upstairs. It was not your way usually to act like this or to even treasure your birthday, but this was different. 

Your memories of that night consuming you. It had happened exactly the same way, your family had been fighting, you had been hiding upstairs watching and listening. Your parents only shouted louder and louder as the minutes ticked closer and closer to your birthday. You had come down stairs and told them to stop, but they hadn't listened, you had screamed and screamed until your father had thrown you outside to calm down. You had seen it then. The giant face of a titan, and in instinct, you had run and run until your feet hurt, but when you finally made it back to your house, your parents were no where to be found and your house was in ruins. Your parents were declared missing a few days after but your birthday was the day you had lost everything. Even your little sister who had only been five years old, all gone in one horrific moment. You curl up on your bed staring out of the window, you had cried so much over the years, you could not sob any more, they were just silent empty tears for a little girl who lost her family. You hear a knock at the door.

“Can I come in?” The voice was gentle and polite, you don’t answer, mind elsewhere. You feel the bed shift as someone sits down on the mattress and move up to the window. “I'm very angry at Erwin but even still, I didn't mean to brush you away, as I did.” You feel a hand on your arm and you flinch, not realising they were so close to you. Your eyes focus and you see Levi leaning on the window sill, looking at the sky. His face was cut in places, but even still, his stupid face still looked perfect. 

“What do you want?” Your voice was monotone, you felt drained.

“I came to apologise for the way I was earlier. It was uncalled for, and as for Erwin, well, I didn't want you seeing it.” You furrow your eyebrows in response, it was strange to hear him sound so sincere, but it was enough to pull yourself out of your wallowing. 

“Did you hit your head recently?” You quip but your voice wasn't cutting enough for the sarcasm to show. 

“No. However, I do think that this situation is a fucking state.” Levi lent back on the window sill. 

“I cant believe Erwin is on the take.” You sigh, breathing in deeply to stop the tears from starting again.

“It was a shock. I have always respected him, but this, is not what I would have ever expected from that idiot.” Levi looked out the window despondently. 

“There must be more to it, surely?”

“I don’t care. If he’s fucking stupid enough to get involved then he deserves it.”

“Its not always that black and white Levi.” You pause. “Nothing is.” Your thoughts drift back to your memories. “At least everyone has stopped fighting.” You both sit in silence for a while, in your own separate thoughts. Strangely it wasn't uncomfortable, in fact just being like this with him, brought a whole other perspective to him. He seemed so serene looking out the window, like a porcelain doll, still and pale, almost frozen he was so still. Your eyes move to the window and stare out at the night sky. 

“Happy birthday (first name)” His voice cut through the silence, his words completely unexpected. There was warmth in his voice, something you were not accustomed to, he seemed slightly awkward, his posture stiffening as you look at him. In doing this only showed you how much he really did care, as strange as it seemed to even think that this guy had some kind of feelings for you. “It was today wasn't it?”

“Today?” You look at him with unease. 

“That you lost your family?” You nod silently, tears threatening to drop down your cheeks. “No wonder you are the way you are.”  You look at him with a frown, Levi shifts his gaze to you, his steely blue eyes fixed on your face. “To lose everything in one go, I understand why you constantly fight. So many of the cadets are the same, just like you they lost everything. Not that it makes it any easier.” He watches you as you try desperately to stop the tears and he furrows his brows, looking once again awkward. “I don’t have anything to give you for your birthday.”

“Don’t worry-” He grabs your arm, stopping you mid-sentence and pulls you into his arms, your head resting on his chest.

“At least I can try and give you something that no one else can at the moment.” You can tell that this is very odd behaviour for him in the way that he felt stiff at first, but as you lean into his ‘birthday hug’ you feel him soften. The surprise of his actions catch you off guard and you feel the tears leave your eyes and trail down your face, without even looking Levi pulls something out of his pocket and offers it to you, it was a handkerchief. You take it appreciatively, his arms holding you tightly, his breathing calm, and his heart beating by your ear at a steady pace. 

“Thank you Levi” You whisper as you drift off to sleep. 

~

You wake with the warm rays of the sun beaming through your window, it was bright and you squint as your eyes protest to the sunlight. You shift in your bed, and realise Levi wasn't in the room. Well of course he wouldn't be, he probably just stayed with you until you were asleep and then left. You groan as your shoulder and ribs swell in pain, you had almost forgotten your injuries. Slowly and stiffly you swing your legs out of the bed, and pad over to your chest of drawers to change, you stop when you notice an envelope laying on the top. You recognise the handwriting instantly and you open it. 

_Happy Birthday (First name)_

I'm sorry that I left you asleep this morning. I believed it would be best to let you rest. 

I will be back later on this afternoon, but I need to deal with a few matters before I return. 

Erwin would like to speak to you, also Alexei is looking more stoic than usual, I think it would be best to speak to him as well before he rips someones head off. 

The team is due back to HQ tomorrow morning, so it would be best to make the most of today with them. 

Thank you for last night. 

Levi 

You blink repeatedly as you read the letter over and over again. He did stay with you all night. Jesus Shit! You had slept with him in the same bed, what the actual fuck, you had been asleep and missed it all! You noted that Erwin wanted to speak to you, that would be a great chat, you muse sarcastically. You think of Lex, and instantly feel sad, he had only done what he thought was right, but you couldn't help but feel that he had caused a rift between everyone. Levi was right, you did need to talk to him, you needed to talk it out and try to sort out what you were feeling. The team were going back tomorrow. 

Wait! The way he had written it, it could only mean you weren't going back with them! 

You feel frightened, if you stayed, you would be put with another team, a team that could be just as bad as the last! Lex would go back to internal affairs and that would be it, you would be on your own again! You couldn't help but feel agitated at the thought, in fact, it terrified you. Your eyes flit to the last part of the letter, ‘thank you for last night’ you frown in confusion. What had you done last night? Screamed and cried on him, what part of that was there to thank? You draw a blank, and continue to get changed. 

You walk downstairs tying up your hair as you go, and upon entering the kitchen you notice Erwin nursing a cup of coffee. He looks up to you, his face actually looking in better condition than you had expected, yet you could see the shadow of a bruise ghosting along his cheek bone. You couldn't place what emotions were running through you as you look at him, you were torn, you were angry, sad, betrayed but glad that he wasn't in too bad of a state. 

“Morning Commander.” You greet him as brightly as you can muster. 

“(Last name). Happy birthday.” He gives you an uncertain smile and looks back to his cup. 

“Thank you. Levi left me a note saying that you wanted to speak to me.” He instantly looked nervous. 

“Yes.” He paused. “I wanted to explain myself to you. Please sit.” You do so, feeling that this chat was going to be very different to what you had expected. “I cant tell you how sorry I am, for the way I have treated you. You have done nothing but be a brilliant Cadet and a good friend to those around you. All I have done is made your life a misery and caused more pain to come your way. That was never my intention.” He really looked like he was going to burst into tears and it made you uncomfortable that your now Ex-Commander was talking to you this way. He seemed so human. 

“Sir, you don’t have to apologise.”

“Yes I do! Nothing that has happened has ever really been about you. Someone from a very long time ago finally called in a favour, which would mean that the Survey Corps would get the necessary funding that we so desperately needed. All they asked was to have someone from the Corps to be transferred to Vargas team to, how did they put it? Distract from members that were investigating him. It just so happened that your interactions with Levi were the perfect thing to mean you were transferred.  I am sorry that you were the one picked, but I couldn't use Levi as he is known throughout all of the military sectors. It does not excuse anything that I have done, but I can only hope that you can see that originally I had no intention of ever putting you in harms way.” He sighs, obviously distressed with the whole situation. 

“I understand.” His jaw drops. “Don’t think that I don’t still feel bitter about the whole thing, but I can see why you did it. Have you told the others?”

“Yes, they didn't take it as well as you though. I think that their respect for me has been completely destroyed because of this.” You sigh and your shoulders slump. 

“Understandable really but I suppose I'm used to disappointment I guess. All my life I have been moved from pillar to post, and when I finally joined the ranks of the Corps, I found my place only to be thrown out all over again. I guess you know from my file what happened? You know why today is so important to me? After that, I gave up on expecting anything to change and get better. I think thats why it hurt so much to hear what you had done, and for no reason other than, what seemed at the time, greed.” You see Erwin shift in his seat, his shirt exposing several large angry purple bruises on his upper torso, the size of them looking particularly similar to the the size of Eren’s fists. “As for the rest of the team, I think they are probably still in shock. I know I am, but if what you have told me is true, I can see that you were stuck between a rock and a hard place. You needed the money for the Corps and you had made a promise to what you thought was a friend. If you think of it that way then any one of us could get stuck in a situation like that.” Erwin smiles at you. 

“You may have only known Alexei for a short while but he certainly has rubbed off on you, he used to say exactly the same things.”

“Lex.” You say to yourself sadly. “I'm sorry Commander, but I am going to have to speak to him. Have you seen him?”

“He was up early this morning. If he isn't in the house, then I guess he will be in the garden, he always had an inclination for nature when he was in thought.” 

You nod as make your way into the garden and sure enough there was Lex sorting out his little vegetable patch. You watch him for a while,and can clearly see the strain of the last few days had added a couple of lines to his features, as well as a small number of new scars for his collection. He looked old today, not like the energetic man you had come to know, he looked stiff and laboured but that could have been more to do with his wounds than the possibility of aching joints. 

“Lex?” He looks up at you sadly and turns away from you. “Lex please. Talk to me.”

“I have caused enough pain. I do no more.” He said shortly. 

“Don’t be a baby.” You walk to face him, so he couldn't get away from you. “You haven't caused me any pain.”

“Kotenok, I have. Your team are broken pieces because of my words.” You sigh, as you stare into his melancholy green eyes, if any one was hurting it was him. Who would have thought that such a giant of a man was so sensitive and gentle. “I could not hold temper, and now…” He shakes his head, inwardly chastising himself. “I should have known better.” You pull him up from his crouched position and sit him down on the bench set along the outside wall of the garden. 

“Don’t think like that. He needed to be told and you were the best person to do it. Who better to give him a kick up the backside if not his old leader huh?” You give him a gentle smile. “Okay, so the setting probably could have been better, but better that it happen here rather than everyone finding out when we were back at HQ. That would have been a lot worse.” Still hanging his head, Lex huffs at you in agreement. “I just wish you had told me, at least that you were internal affairs.” You didn't mean for your voice to carry so much hurt with it, but it was out now, and Lex had definitely sensed it. 

“You know I could not. As much as I wanted, I could not be sure you were not part of plan. The night that we spoke, I knew then that you were not, it is why I stepped in. I wish I had told, but if Varga found out that you knew, he would have killed on spot. I could not chance that.” His words were loaded with remorse. 

“Lex. I don’t hold it against you. I just…” You pause, not really sure how to express yourself properly. “I guess I just thought my big brother would have told me something like that.” You give him a cheeky sideways grin, in hope that you would get a reaction out of him and with great happiness, you see him return your smile. 

“Little sister, always able to make Alexei smile.” He chuckles. “You are like beam of sunshine on cloudy day.” You blush at his words, his smile instantly making you feel warm inside. “Ah, it is someones birthday, is it not?” 

“It might be?” You laugh coyly. 

“Ah, ha! Have you received anything good?”

“No, not yet. I don’t expect to.” You say with a hint of sadness. 

“Oh, I thought Captain Darcy had given you present.” You furrow your eyes in confusion. “So it was not him that I saw you wrapped up in while you were asleep this morning?”

“What!? You saw that?” You cry out in embarrassed disbelief. 

“I checked on you this morning. I did not expect to see Captain Darcy in your bed. He looked happy. I did not know he could smile.”

“Nothing happened Lex!” You rush to explain. 

“Ha ha. That may be so. You looked happy, maybe book will come true no?” You feel yourself blush like a tomato and hold your head in your hands. “Do not worry. I will not tell.” His deep laughter lessening the impact of his statement. “Ah, but I have something for you. It is not a lot but I think you will like. Close your eyes.” You do as he says, but you couldn't help but smile, it had been a very long time since anyone had given you a present, let alone for your birthday.  “Hold out hands.” Again you do so and feel something delicate and cold placed into your palm. “Open eyes.”

You open your eyes, and look at the object now held within your hands. It was a beautiful silver locket, on an even more exquisite chain. You gasp in surprise as you look at Lex. 

“Lex you shouldn't have!” Your face must have been a picture, a mix between shock and happiness. 

“It did not cost me. It was my sisters, she had same face when I gave to her.” The realisation dawns on you, this was his sisters locket! It must have been one of his most treasured possessions and he was giving it to you. 

“I cant take this…” He closes your hand with his and smiles. 

“I want you to have. My sister was most precious to me. You are also. You are sister, now. Not to replace, not to remind, but as sign of affection. My promise to protect.” He takes it out of your hand, walks behind you and fixes it around your neck.  “My little sister.” He says as he walks back round to face you. You feel your eyes well up with tears, he may not have been family by blood but he was the closest thing you had. You leap out of your chair and wrap your arms around him, in complete delight. 

This was honestly the best birthday you had ever had and you hadn't even had lunch yet.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEWARE! Lemony chapter incoming. I decided to give reader-chan a little bit of a break, the poor thing. Bear with it, it doesnt last for long :P

_This was honestly the best birthday you had ever had and you hadn't even had lunch yet._  
  
You hear Lex chuckle in your ear and as you draw apart you notice him wipe a tear from his eye. Lex was home. There was no other way to describe it, he was everything that you could ask for in a brother, father and uncle and the thought of not being near him made your heart tear in two. He had really changed your life and in the matter of days he had become one of the most important people in your life. He was kind, hard when he needed to be but more than anything he cared for you. You smile back at him as he shakes himself out of his sentimental moment.   
  
“(First name)! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” You hear the happy shriek from the doorway, and see Sasha bounding into the garden, shortly followed by Eren and Jean who were on her heels. She wraps her arms around you, laughing and smiling, you look over her shoulder and see the boys looking happy but strangely a little sheepish. You give them a questioning look but Sasha lets you go before they make any motion to answer you.   
  
“Happy birthday” Eren greets you as he also pulls you into a hug and gives you a gentle kiss on the cheek.   
  
“Thank you..” You say with slight surprise, wondering what had caused the kissing thing to happen again. He only grins at you more as Jean hugs you, also giving his best wishes and another kiss is placed on your cheek. You turn bright red, touching your cheeks, you stare at them in disbelief, completely at a loss for words, both the boys were looking pretty flushed themselves.    
  
“The boys didn't know what to get you for your birthday, so they thought that a gesture would be better than any present. They’re both wimps and have been psyching themselves to do it all morning.” Sasha explains and you hear Lex laugh behind you.   
  
“Ah youth of today. You have gathered many kisses today. Here have another.” Lex turns you round, embracing you in his strong arms, and places a kiss on your forehead. “That would be three now. Perfect for Birthday Girl. Just one more we wait for.” He gives you a wink, you glower at him, knowing exactly to whose kiss he is referring...   
  
“I think our kisses are enough. She doesn't need any more.” Eren said with a hint of jealousy.   
  
“I think that is up to her do you not think? She has to deal with one jealous fool, do not make her life harder Eren.” Sasha and Jean scoff at this, and Eren’s face scowled only causing the laughter to erupt louder from the other two, Eren seemed awkward and brushed his hand through his hair, trying his best to wheedle out of the situation.   
  
“I am here you know.” You fold your arms in feigned indignation, you had gotten used to people talking about you as if you weren't there. Even still, the conversation was fairly amusing. Watching Eren become ever so slightly jealous was quite endearing and you raise your eyebrows only to tease him further.   
  
“Oh, we have something for you!” Sasha said with a mouthful of pastry that had miraculously appeared out of nowhere. She beckons you inside with the rest following suit and returning indoors. As you walk through the kitchen you hear Erwin call you.   
  
“(first name) I need to speak to you.” He pauses. “Its important, its about your position within the Corps” You stop, taking a few seconds to let his words sink in, his look was grave and it sent a shiver down your spine.   
  
“What-”You are stopped in you tracks.   
  
“No! You are opening your present and now!” Sasha demands, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the lounge. You notice, sitting on the coffee table was a small brown box, you sit down and wonder what is inside. Jean gives it to you with a smile. You smile back, but couldn’t help but worry what Erwin meant by ‘your position on the corps’, it made you feel uneasy and you could feel your stomach turning, yet you try to concentrate on the box that you had been given.   
  
“We were planning to send this to you but as we are here, we decided to bring it with us instead and give it to you in person.” He offers you the box, everyone looking at you expectantly. Placing the box on your lap, you open it slowly barely being able to contain your excitement and seeing the contents only makes you happier. Inside there were various envelopes with different handwriting, written you imagine from each of you friends, there was an uncooked potato, obviously from Sasha, which caused you to laugh involuntarily. Upon moving the letters you see a field knife, with the initials J.K crudely carved into the handle, Jean smiles at you nervously.   
  
“I thought that you might need one. Y’know a spare which you could… Well you know what I mean.” You thank him, your heart swelling at such a lovely idea, he had meant for it to help protect you; which from someone like Jean, who wasn’t all that great at expressing himself when it came to things like this, was actually really quite big. Then at the bottom of the box was a piece of paper, carefully you pick it out of the box and a massive smile appears across your face. Eren, the only one it could have been, had drawn a very lovely picture of you all together. He was no great artist but it was so thoughtful that you could almost feel the tears rising in your eyes, you rub them to stop yourself from crying again, everyone had been so thoughtful, and to give them credit, they actually knew you more that you thought they did.   
  
“Thank you guys! I cant tell you how much this means to me!” Your words come out a garbled mess, what with the dread you had in the pit of your stomach and the overwhelming joy from your gifts, you felt giddy.    
  
“Oh no, she’s going to start crying again. Everyone get your umbrellas out!” You laugh and throw a pillow at Eren for his comment.   
  
“Kotenok. I think it would be good to go out today. The sun is out and we should have fun for Birthday.” You turn your head to Lex who was leaning on the back of the sofa. “I have a little money that we could go and enjoy day with.”  
  
“YES!” Eren shouts enthusiastically. “Lets do it! Let’s go out and actually have fun for a change!” Everyone agreed and you were dragged out of the house before you could even begin to protest at the idea.  
  
However as the day went on you had to admit; every second had been extremely enjoyable, to the point where you had almost forgotten about Erwin and his much needed talk with you. First you had stopped for lunch at a tavern which served the hugest plates of food. It was mainly only reserved for those that were extremely wealthy and traders who had made their fortune from selling their stock to those less fortunate. You hated to think how much it had cost Lex, but he paid for it with a smile, mentioning that money was nothing in comparison to the priceless smile on your face.   
  
You were then dragged to a shop that you would never have dared enter, it was a women’s clothes shop, also reserved for women who had more money than sense, or at least their husbands did. The fabrics that the clothes were made out of may as well have been made out of pure gold. There were silks, satins and lace, all of which were like gold dust in a place like this. For starters the base materials needed to even make the fabric were so hard to come by, you would have to sell half your family to even get a glimpse at them, let alone buy a whole garment.   
  
“Why are we in here?” You ask desperately, this was not the type of place that made you feel comfortable.   
  
“You are to buy a dress.” Lex answered shortly.   
  
“But why?” You were cut short by Sasha who was dancing around with a very beautiful dress made of silk.   
  
“Because its your birthday and you will never get a chance to wear something like this again.” She said dreamily and was instantly relieved of the dress by the shop owner, who put it back in its place on the shop floor. Sighing she continued. “Honestly, it would be good for you to feel normal for once, right?”  
  
“I will also never wear it again.” You raise your eyebrow at her, still not swaying to the idea.   
  
“I would pay good money to see you in a dress.” Eren grinned.   
  
“No money in the world would be enough to get me in a dress.”   
  
That was not how it turned out, however, everyone picked an outfit and ushered you into a changing cubical, much to your displeasure. The first three dresses felt extremely uncomfortable, and very unforgiving to your curvy hips, to the point you refused to even come out and show anyone. Jean and Eren jeered, desperately trying to get a peak at you in a dress, but you down right refused.   
  
“You have one more dress to try Kotenok. Please, let us see this one.” Lex coaxed but you could tell he was amused by the comical conversation happening between Eren and Jean. He was right you did have one more dress to try on, and if you were honest, it was the prettiest out of the lot, it was the most beautiful forget-me-not blue, with a wonderful lace trim. Slowly you put the dress on, finding it difficult to do the buttons up you ask Sasha to come and help you.   
  
“Woah…” Sasha stands there, just looking.   
  
“What? Help me with the buttons will you?” She does so, taking glimpses of you in the dress every so often and soon enough all the buttons are done up and you are ready, you don’t even bother to look at yourself in the mirror, and you sigh.   
  
“Come on! Let us see!” Jean calls from outside, you look to Sasha for support, but she just grins at you and opens the curtain. Slowly you walk to where the rest are waiting, and are amazed to see the looks on all their faces. Jean was open mouthed, Eren looked like his eyeballs were going to drop out of his head and Lex smiled knowingly at you.   
  
“Doesn’t she look great?” Sasha says from behind you.   
  
“I .. Uh… yeah.” Eren stammers in response, Lex laughs as he shuts Jean’s mouth. He takes your hand and spins you round, your dress spiralling out around you. You cant help but give him a girly giggle, that came completely out of nowhere and you give yourself a stern internal talking to for being so stupid. It felt amazing on, and you really did feel like a girl for once, well no, more woman, the dress drew in at the right places and really showed off your figure.   
  
“Dress fit for princess. You shall have this one.” Lex mused aloud.   
  
“No, I couldn’t possibly ask you to pay for this.”  
  
“Hmm. Then do not ask. It is offered.” Lex smiled, and went off to speak to the shop owner, who in turn brought some dainty little boots to you that were supposedly to be part of the matching set. Amazingly these fit perfectly as well, and even though you pleaded with Lex not to waste his money, these were bought too. Sasha dragged you to the mirror and made you look at yourself, gasping in shock, you couldn’t believe that the person staring back at you was really you. You could almost say you looked like someone else, Sasha grins at you and tugs gently at your hair tie, which caused your locks to fall over your shoulders. You didn't look like you were part of the Survey Corps, you looked like a very well off rich young woman, only the scars on your body betraying you.   
  
“Perfect!” You look at her, not really knowing what to say. As much as the dress was beautiful, you felt like a dressed up doll, this wasn’t really your thing, and so much money had been spent on you too. She gathers up your clothes and has them folded and put in a bag to carry home. “Right where next?” You ask as you follow the others out of the shop.  
  
“We have been in here for ages, its probably dinner time already!” Jean said despairingly.  
  
“This is why you should bring snacks” Sasha replies with handfuls of food. Jeans eyes widen as he leaps to grab some of the items, Sasha moves out his way and runs off. Jean trails after her desperate to get his hands on something to eat. You laugh and set into a gentle paced walk, the weather really was beautiful, a perfect birthday. Lex had trundled off to look in an old book shop and you embrace the warm rays of the sun like a salamander.    
  
“You look really nice (first name)” Eren sets into the same pace as you, and you smile at him warmly.   
  
“Thank you Eren. Its a shame all my scars and wounds make it look awful.” He shakes his head at you.   
  
“No, it wouldn’t be you without them. My mum always used to say Scars are the writings of your personal journey, if you have none, you have not lived.”   
  
“You know I like that. Make sense really. Your mum was a clever lady” You pause looking a little thoughtful. “I know you take the piss out of me, but I really do appreciate everything that you do for me. Sasha told me how much you fought Erwin to get me back.”  
  
“Well, yeah, we all did, but apparently I have the loudest mouth, so I was given the duty to make sure the Commander had an earache.” He gave you a bashful chuckle. “According to Erwin though, it seems like I wasn’t the only one being a nuisance to him either.” You stop walking a second and look at him.   
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Levi was constantly shouting at him to sort it out. I think we even ended up almost being in a tag team because as soon as one of us came out of his office, the other went in.” Eren laughed. “I honestly thought Erwin was going to jump out the window at one point, he was so stressed.”  
  
“Levi did?” You say with doubt, slowly starting to walk again.  
  
“Yeah, as much as I don’t particularly like him, he was pretty insistent to get you back.” He sighs almost seeming in conflict. “I hate to say it, but he has been different here. Like before, he was constantly punishing you, but now, you should have seen him when you were kidnapped. For a guy who doesn’t show much emotion, he was seriously angsty, he would have killed Varga if he was given the chance.”  
  
“I know. I saw that. I didn’t want him to have blood on his hands because of me. I don’t know what to think about what is going on. He has told me nothing, he still acts hot and cold, I give up with it to be honest.” You sigh. “Anyway, do we know what the plan is for the rest of the day? Its gotten quite late hasn’t it?”  
  
“I think we were going to go out for a drink, to celebrate your birthday and all that.”   
  
“Oh no. Maybe that isn’t wise, I’m not really very good at holding my drink.”   
  
“I’ll hold it for you” You see his eyes flash with mischievous light and you giggle at him.  
  
“Eren, you are a strange one! Come on lets find the others.”  
  
~  
  
You ended up in the same inn that you had always ended up in. Gus had welcomed you with a large glass of wine and you eyed it gingerly, this was going to get messy. The whole place seemed to have changed over night, everyone was laughing and having a good time, so different than when Varga controlled the place. Normally people would be huddled away in corners, but it was a surprise to see everyone chatting, with smiles on their faces, people were actually playing music and others dancing. Someone had a violin another a flute and the melody just added to the wonderful atmosphere of the once solemn inn.   
  
“It used to be like this. Before Varga. It is good to see.” Lex said beaming happily, he really was revelling in it as much as you.   
  
“Come on! Drink up!” Eren urged. The boys had already drunk their drinks as part of a competition to see who could finish theirs first and you could tell that they were definitely not used to alcohol. Even Sasha had becoming increasingly giggly after only drinking half of hers, and Lex was, as always, unaffected by it. You drink a large gulp of the wine and feel it instantly go to your head.   
  
Before you even knew it you were on your second and feeling extremely tipsy, the musicians had grown in number, and there was now a lute, drums and god knows what else. The whole inn seemed to be bouncing, and you could tell that Lex was itching to get up and dance. You laugh at him clapping along, this was a side that you had never seen to him, it was almost like the awful weight of his mission had completely left him, and if you dared to think it, he looked happy.   
  
“Come. We dance.” Your eyes widen in horror. You hadn’t danced since the night you had lost your family, the only one you had ever danced with was your little sister and you weren’t planning on starting again. You had lived fairly close to an inn, being used to the sound of the music they played and you had danced with your sister almost every day before it was time to go in for dinner. You had no idea whether what you had done was actually classed as dancing, but it had made both of you so happy that you hadn’t cared at the time.   
  
“No. I can’t dance!”   
  
“You will dance. I teach you.” There was no arguing with him, he had already grabbed your arm and dragged you to the makeshift space that others were using as a dance floor. You stood on the spot, motionless, feeling very self-conscious, but Lex didn’t seem to mind your hesitation and he offered out a hand to you as the music changed, almost crying out for joy when he recognised what they were playing. You gave him your hand, and very slowly he showed you the steps, making you look round at the couples dancing around you, to mimic their movements. As he showed you more of the steps, you realised that one of your neighbours had once shown you the same dance when he had seen you dancing to the music in the street and a smile appears across your face.   
  
“I know this!” You fling yourself into the dance, being spun around, changing partners, and very quickly memorising the steps that you had previously known. Not long after you noticed that the boys and Sasha were trying to work out the steps and were having a hard time following them, so they resorted in dancing together in a weird mash up of the last three dances. You wave at Lex on the other side of the room, who seemed to be having as much fun as you, you were whirled round moving to the next person, laughing as you did, not noticing who your next partner was. You were caught in another mans grasp, and turning your head back to your new partner, you gasp in shock as you realise who it is.   
  
“Levi!” You had no idea he was here, but then you hadn’t exactly been looking for him either. He followed the dance steps with ease, which surprised you, he didn’t seem to be the type to ever entertain the idea of dancing, let alone actually knowing how to dance. His eyes were intent on you, something about his look smoldered as his arm reached around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I didn’t know you could dance!” You smile, all the spinning had made you dizzy and then being thrust into the arms of Levi was making your head spin. He leans in closer running his lips up your neck to your ear. You shiver as the sensation sends your body haywire, it was quite worrying he had started having this effect on you.   
  
“Happy birthday, brat” He says, just loud enough for you to hear, his voice was soft but was tinged with something else. Could it have been desire? You realise that the song called for people to change partners, and as you are about to leave his grasp, when he pulls you out of the way so that the transition misses you and you stay partnered with him. “You look beautiful in that dress.” You stop dancing and blush, looking down at the floor. He releases your hand and raises your chin so you are once again looking at him, you tilt your head as you try to work out why he is staring at you, and you feel the rest of the room melt away with only you as occupants.   
  
“Thank you. Shame it is only tonight I will get to wear it. It must have cost a fortune.”   
  
“It did. Alexei and I thought you deserved it.” You look at him in confusion.   
  
“I thought Lex…” The music changed to a slightly gentler jig, you both still in a semblance of a dance, but far more interested in the conversation you were having, paying no real mind to the music or the dance itself.   
  
“No.” He shook his head. “We put our money together, the dress that he picked out, was one that was selected by me.”   
  
“What? Are you telling me you went dress shopping Captain Ackerman?” You couldn’t help but laugh, the image in your mind of Levi surrounded by dresses was by far the most amusing so far.   
  
“In a manner of speaking. Judging by the fact you are wearing it, I see that I chose wisely.” You smile giving him a nod as he spins you round in time with the music and pulls you in tighter to him.  You couldn’t tell whether it was the drink or your own feelings, but something about him drew you to him. Eren had been right, he had changed and for the better; the Levi from before was a far cry away from the man you were now dancing with. You put your hand on his shoulder, feeling the muscles under his shirt and subconsciously you bite your lip at the thought of them minus the shirt, and your body quivers in response to the idea, becoming very aware of how close your bodies were.   
  
“Thank you for last night.” You murmur innocently and notice his raised eyebrow, swiftly followed by a smile that hovered over the corners of his mouth. Again he leans to your ear, his breath dancing over your skin.   
  
“You know if any one were to hear you speaking like that they would think we were lovers.” There it was again! His voice was dark and rolled off his tongue with pure suggestion. You move your head away, needing the distance, almost frightened at the thought, to be so close to him and to even think that you were having this conversation with him, was daunting. This was something that only happened in books, not in real life! His eyes were so intense, that you could feel your body trembling against his, you were completely powerless against him and if you were honest, with the combination of the drink and general atmosphere, you weren’t exactly complaining.  
  
“I honestly don’t know what you mean!” You reply coyly, trying your best to stay relatively innocent, however, your mind had wandered off with imaginary Levi and was gifting you with a lot of very interesting scenarios that caused your insides to coil in excitement and it was only when he responded that you were pulled away from your reverie.   
  
“I think you do.” The smile becoming more apparent across his lips. “Especially if they had walked in on us this morning.” You turned bright red again and could could feel your cheeks burning. “I found it interesting that you said my name in your sleep.” You heard a quiet chuckle, but his eyes stayed on you, watching your reaction.   
  
“I didn’t!” You could feel the horror rising up in you.   
  
“So you don’t want to hear what else you didn’t do?” He was definitely laughing now, eyes showing his mischievous amusement and he moves away from the throng of dancing people, taking you with him into the night air.   
  
“What didn’t I do?” You demand inquisitively, still not believing that your sleep had betrayed you.  
  
“Well, you were like this” He pulled you closer, moving your arm over his shoulder and wrapping his hand around your waist, on reflection, you distinctly remember waking up on your side that morning. His face moved closer to you and you could feel yourself start to tingle at his closeness. “You whispered my name, and then…” He moved your hand to his cheek and leaned in closer, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. Your eyes widen in response, partly because of the kiss, partly, if he was to be believed, you had done this in your sleep.   
  
“I did that?” You mutter in shock, completely unmoving, still with your hand on his cheek, he nods as his eyes soften and you are taken aback by the way he is looking at you. “I’m sorry.” Your apology takes him visibly by surprise, and you release yourself from his hold.   
  
“You are sorry for doing it?” You could hear a sharp tone within his voice, stark against his previous timbre.  
  
“I would never have done that if I had been awake.” You look at the floor feeling extremely embarrassed.   
  
“I see.” He looked away from you, and you could feel the air change around you. The playful atmosphere had gone, in fact it felt like the air was frozen. “I think I may have read into this wrongly. I should go.” You hear him begin to walk away, and you feel like this was not the way it was meant to go, maybe he had taken it as a slight against its affection, if thats what it was. Was… was he hurt?   
  
“Wait, Levi.” He pauses, looking back at you with his deadpan expression. “I wouldn’t have done it because I’m not that forward, not because I wouldn’t want to.” You bite your lip, searching his face for a reaction, in hope that you hadn’t said something completely stupid.   
  
He whirls round, that familiar smile gracing his lips and walks back to you, grabbing your arms and pushing you into the wall. His body was pressed up to yours, his muscles tensing as he held you, and he looks at you for a second, with dark longing eyes. His lips were on yours before you knew it, his kiss fervent and needing, and you could feel your body respond to him in kind. He run his tongue across your lips, begging for entry, and you allow him in, feeling his need intensify. His kiss was sending you into a frenzy which you were desperately holding yourself back from, something seemed to click and you let go, unknowing of what it meant. You wiggle your wrists out of his grasp and run your hand over his neck, stopping on his cheek as he pulls you in closer to him.   
  
The urgency seems quelled as the kiss softens and slows giving you a chance to take him in. His lithe body against you, his scent and the softness of his lips. Slowly your lips part and you stand still in an embrace, looking at each other and you become very aware of how invested in the kiss he actually was. It causes you to blush at the thought of Levi becoming aroused and smile timidly. He doesn’t speak, he just looks at you, running a finger along your jaw line.   
  
“So, what now?” You ask meekly.  
  
“Mmm. I can think of a few things.” The smile reappearing on his face, his eyes almost seemed to be taking you all in, they were dark and wanting, his voice full of suggestion and lust.   
  
“I.. I don’t know what to say.”  
  
“Then do not say anything, let me show you.” He presses against you harder, hands wandering up your torso and tracing over your skin.   
  
“I.. You…” He hushes you, taking your hand and pulling you away from the inn, in the direction of home. After a while of walking, which was hard to keep up the pace with him in the boots you were wearing, you stop. “You.. Want to do this?”  
  
“Tsk. More than anything.” He says nothing else and when you finally reach the house, he pulls you inside, his kiss and his hands almost desperate to take ownership of you, you cant help but melt into his touch and a few moans escape you as he explores your body. He chuckles under his breath as he pulls you in the direction of your bedroom, and as you reach the first step, the living room lights are turned on. Squinting against the now very bright room you notice Erwin in the doorway of the kitchen.  
  
“I need to speak to you.” His voice sounded the same as before, and you realise you had completely forgotten that he had wanted to talk.   
  
“Tsk. Not now Erwin. We are busy.” Levi hisses at him.   
  
“I am quite aware.” He shuffles uncomfortably. “However, this needs to be said before anything else happens.”   
  
“Don’t!” Levi warns stepping closer to him. The commander ignores him, moving sideways to face you.   
  
“(first name) you are not coming back with us, and due to your involvement with Captain Varga’s activities, I have been told that you are no longer welcome in the Military police.”   
  
The words did not make sense in your head at first, but slowly as you grab onto Levi’s sleeve, the meaning forms itself in your mind. You were being kicked out, completely. This was the end.


	11. Chapter 11

_“(first name) you are not coming back with us, and due to your involvement with Captain Varga’s activities, I have been told that you are no longer welcome in the Military police.”_  
  
The words did not make sense in your head at first, but slowly as you grab onto Levi’s sleeve, the meaning forms itself in your mind. You were being kicked out, completely. This was the end.  
  
  
  
  
“I’m sorry. Say that again…” You respond in disbelief, Levi scowls at Erwin.  
  
“You told me that it was a possibility that she might not be coming back with us, why, I have no fucking idea! But to be thrown out completely is a fucking joke.” His voice was like when he was scolding you when you were back at HQ. You watch as he tenses in front of you, almost creating a barrier between you and Erwin, you couldn’t believe that Erwin was doing this, he was completely out of order, and had once again messed up your birthday.   
  
“I will not be kicked out! You cant do this!”  
  
“It can and it is not my decision.” He replies flatly. You groan in frustration but are silenced by Levi’s hand gesturing you to be quiet.   
  
“Orders from above?! You taking another bribe Erwin?” Levi was scathing, his eyes hard, his voice fulled with acidity and contempt, but he didn’t stop there. “I’m surprised you are even Commander any more after the way you have compromised the Corps. I have a right mind to ask the higher ups for your resignation due to you fucking pathetic misconduct!”  
  
“Levi I-”  
  
“I will not hear it! You are a fucking disgrace.” You touch Levi’s arm in an attempt to calm him, but he shrugs you off, previously that may have upset you, but you were far too angry to let that get in your way. You grab his arm and pull him back, he glares at you, an obvious rebuke at you stopping him, but he can see that your eyes were welling up with tears partly due to anger, but mostly due to fear, which stop him in his tracks. He looks almost desperately into your eyes, you were sure you could see he was searching for an answer to sort it, and a strange sadness hangs upon his features, though still unmoving from their usual state. He sighs resignedly. “There is no way to bring her back to the Corps?”  
  
“No Levi. I have said this to you.”  
  
“Then I will not be coming with you tomorrow.” You gasp as you look up at him in complete wonder. He would leave the corps for you? Surely not… “I resign.”  
  
“You cannot do that! I will not allow it.” Erwin seemed panicked, this was probably nothing of what he expected. To shout at each other, yes. To fight over the matter, yes. To just up and quit, most likely not. Levi looks at you with a sorrowful gaze but gives you a small smile, in response, you wrap your arms around his lithe frame and nuzzle your head into his shoulder. At first he is frozen like ice, as if surprised by your actions, only to soften, pulling his arms around you, as if in your own protective cocoon.   
  
“You cannot leave Levi..” You whisper into his ear. “I cannot let you give up your livelihood for this, for me.” You hear the start of a quiet laugh.   
  
“I could lie and tell you this is all for you, but as I said it would be a lie. I stayed in the Corps because I respected Erwin. I cant say what I feel about it now, but I am not particularly happy about following a man that can be corrupted so easily.” You notice him glare at the Commander and the room is silent. You feel as if you could cut the air with a knife it was so tense, Levi was obviously waiting for Erwin to say something, but it never came.   
  
He tuts and drags you upstairs with him, this was definitely not the ending you were expecting, not that you had been expecting to do anything with Levi, but you would have thought it would have been happier than this. Your heart felt heavy, and you knew in every fibre of your being that the choice that Levi was making was wrong. It made you question how strong his feelings were for you, you knew he liked you, but to this extent, was fairly scary, even if he did say that it wasn’t just for you. He sits down on the bed, almost deflated, as you make your way to the dresser to brush your hair, with the intention to weave it into a loose braid.   
  
“Levi, you shouldn’t do this. Even taking Erwin out of the equation, the rest of us need you to keep on fighting, even if they don’t know your name or what you do. We need you.” You pause. “I need you… to keep fighting.” You watch him out of the corner of your eye, and notice him eye you from behind, his gaze slowly moving from your waist, down to your hips and lower still. “Levi. Are you listening?” You words seem to jerk him out of his daydream.   
  
“I know. I do not want to leave the Corps, however, I don’t want to leave you behind either.” Even his voice sounded torn. “I have a duty to humanity, I swore to defend against the Titans, but everything that I want to protect is embodied.. Well, if I’m blunt, in you.” You turn to face him, hand still clasping the brush that was gently untangling your hair, you were at a loss for words, was he really saying what you thought?  
  
“Then the matter is agreed. You cannot protect me if you are no longer in the Corps-”  
  
“Nor can I protect you if I am dead.” He interrupts, you shush him in a mildly scolding manner.   
  
“No, but you cant protect me either if your wings are clipped, by the person that you are protecting.” You walk over to the bed and sit down. “You were meant to fly Levi, and I will not be the one to ground you.” You give him a weak smile. “And before you try being pedantic, that includes you doing it yourself for my sake. I wont have you arguing with me over this Captain Ackerman!” You feign a authoritative tone and wag your finger at him, and a wicked smile appears across his face.   
  
“Hmm, are you trying to control me Miss (last name)?” His eye brow raised and the same mischievous look crossed his face again. You cant help but feed off the mood and you smile coyly.   
  
“Not in the slightest  _Sir_.” The emphasis stirred the darkness over his eyes, like they had previously. “However, I would suggest that you continue your position within the Survey Corps until such a time as I can return.” You tried your best to act as if you were giving a report, knowing the formality would catch him off guard but secondly because the way he was staring at you sent shivers of anticipation up your spine. You quickly move back to the mirror and make yourself busy braiding your hair.   
  
“I see, Cadet, is that personal or professional opinion?” He said as he walked up behind you, hands on your bare shoulders, catching your eyes in the refection of the mirror.  
  
“Professional, of course. Personal opinions would only complicate matters, do you not think?” It was very difficult to maintain your composure with Levi’s fingers dancing over your skin, this charade of pretending like nothing was wrong was heartbreaking, but you couldn’t show him how much it hurt and the impending dread of knowing you were going to be alone again. You knew you had a precious few hours left before everyone left for HQ, you knew you had to make them count, but you also knew you couldn’t do anything that would make life harder for you, and possibly even for Levi. If you were true, you could have curled up in a ball and cried until the sun rose in the sky, yet it would be a waste of the time you had been given.   
  
“I wouldn’t call it complicated. I think the matter is very simple.” He kissed the skin on your neck and you close your eyes desperately trying not to cry again, they were bittersweet kisses, leaving your skin bereft of warmth as soon as he moved. “Don’t you want this?” His tongue trails over the skin that he had just kissed. You hold back a sob, but a small sound had escaped your lips, and in response Levi looks at you in the mirror and must have spotted the solitary tear rolling down your cheek. He turns you to look at him, a small scowl on his face as he wipes away the tear with his thumb. “Did I do something wrong?”  
  
“No.” You answer quietly. “Quite the opposite. I just wish we had more time.” You place a hand on his chest and lock eyes with him. He seemed to understand and pulls you closer to him in a tight embrace, one hand rest top of yours on his chest.   
  
“I don’t want you to cry anymore (first name). Not because of me.” He sighs again, as much as it was okay to pretend it wasn’t happening, it only delayed the inevitable.   
  
“Then promise me you will go tomorrow?” He craned his neck to get a read on your expression, he seemed confused. “Levi, I mean it. You must go back, my decision hasn’t changed. I don’t like it and I will probably regret the decision as soon as you leave, but it is the right one for you.”   
  
“Even if I have no say in it?”  
  
“Even then. I will hate every second of being apart from you.” You hesitate when you realise what you had just said. These words were becoming easier and easier to say, you had spent so much time convincing yourself otherwise, that you had overlooked the obvious.  “I mean all of you, I would love to stay with you and just be.. But that is not the hand that I have been dealt, and I will not have my misfortune affect you.”  
  
“Then I have no choice, if you will not accept me.” You move your head to look at him properly.   
  
“That isn’t what I meant and you know it.” You scowl at him, you knew he was going to twist your words, just like he had always done.   
  
“Then tell me what you mean.” It was almost like he was pushing you to say something, something that you were at that moment in time, completely oblivious to.   
  
“All I meant was I am not going to be the one that stops you from doing what you were meant to do.”   
  
“Tsk. That wasn’t what I was asking.” He seemed frustrated with the conversation and he drew away from you, his aura shifted to cold and closed off. You had had enough of him blowing hot and cold, he had done it so often, it really did get on your nerves.   
  
“Well what do you want me to say?” Your voice sounding even more frustrated than his and you huff. “Well, what do you want me to say?! That I don’t want you to go, fuck everything and everyone else in the world?” You were becoming even more flustered as the enraged words just fell out of your mouth, without regard.  “That I don’t care if the whole of humanity dies as long as I have you by my side?  That I love you Levi?!” As soon as you said it you clap your hand over your mouth, eyes wide in complete surprise that it was you that had uttered those words, even in frustration. Even Levi looked stunned at your outburst, but a full smile appeared across his face as soon as the words had sunk in.   
  
“That will do.” He pulls you to him, and kisses you deeply. It was gentle, passionate but held a completely different emotion than when he had kissed you outside the inn. Your mind was racing with what you had just said, did you love him? It seemed that the rest of you knew maybe apart from your brain, you had denied it for so long that you had been in a constant tug of war with yourself, but the words hadn’t felt wrong coming out of your mouth, in fact, they had felt completely right. It was more of a shock than anything, to be so open, to just let go and let your heart speak for once. Levi traced a few stray hairs out of your eyes, and gave a small laugh.   
  
“I was wondering how long it would take you to finally come out with it!” His voice was soft, and it made you wonder if this was his normal voice, or whether it was one that only you had heard. Everyone feared, hated or were in awe of him, could they possibly believe that this man was capable of being so gentle. You almost felt like you needed to pinch yourself, this felt far too much like a dream to actually be real.  
  
“Finally?!” You bring yourself out of your thoughts with a thud.   
  
“I knew you did when Erwin caught us back at HQ..” He smiled to himself as he was seemingly remembering what had happened.   
  
“What when you had me up against the wall? How could you tell then? I didn’t do anything to show you that. I didn’t even know myself!” You drift apart from him a little to give yourself some breathing space,  hand resting on your hip, waiting for his explanation.   
  
“It was just the small things, like you didn’t struggle against me, whereas you had before-”  
  
“It was shock!” You interrupt.   
  
“The way you kissed me back, someone doesn’t do that if they are completely against the idea.”  
  
“Shock and self preservation!”  
  
“Ohh, right, and the smile you gave me when Erwin pulled me aside?” You could see that smile hiding in the corners of his lips, his eyes were glinting again and you had to admit it, it was quite endearing.   
  
“I smiled?” You stopped, scanning your mind for ever having smiled at him afterwards. “I didn’t smile…” You hear Levi laugh, and you felt your heart doing somersaults.  
  
“Tsk. You did. It was that same smile you have when you know you are teasing me, and you know its working.” You feign shock, and laugh. Did you have a certain smile? You look up at him, realising how much you enjoyed his company, and you beam at him.   
  
“Thats the one.” You see him bite his lip, as if he was trying to stop himself from something.   
  
“This one?” You turn away from him, look over your shoulder and grin again. You hear a growl, and Levi practically pounces on you. He pushes you into the wall, wrists restrained by his hands, his breathing rapid, and his body very, very, much against yours. You cant help yourself but squeal at the situation you had found yourself in, again. Your body was more than willing to reciprocate this time, and you tremble as all the thoughts you had been controlling spill into your minds eye.   
  
“You should not do that around polite company. I cannot be held responsible for my actions if you do.” His voice was husky, deep and those dark eyes were back, his whole aura had changed, it was almost primal, and hungry. “Hmm, this looks rather familiar…” He eyes your position against the wall, and gives you flirtatious grin. “Mmm.. I like you like this…” He shifted his hand so only one held both of your hands, and he trailed his fingers down your neck, along your shoulder, down further, tracing along the skin along the seam of your neckline. His touch sent warmth curling in your abdomen.   
  
There was something about Levi when he was like this, he had so much presence, he was for the lack of any other words, powerful, confident and strong. Against him, your body felt as if it was melting, liquid and aching. You were so close to him that you almost felt you were part of him, surrounded by him, completely enveloped by him. He leaned his head into your neck, kissing, licking and nipping, each time causing a small gasp or moan to escape you. You weren't going to fight this time, he had complete control over you, not by how he was holding your hands, but just the way he seemed to know exactly how to touch you.   
  
He pressed himself harder into you, and you could feel, that everything that he was doing to you, was only adding to his own enjoyment. His teeth grazed your skin, sending your body into a frenzy. He gave you a gentle bite, and in hearing you moan, bit harder. Under normal circumstances you would have expected that it would hurt like a bitch, but he was doing something to your body, that there was no pain, only pleasure. You felt on fire, needing, burning, you were desperate for some kind of release, you move against him restlessly, your whole body aching for him.   
  
Levi releases your hands, turning you round, he slowly undoes all the buttons of your dress. As each button is released, he places a kiss on your spine. You giggle as he kisses a very ticklish part of your back, and you hear him chuckle. He stands back up, looping the sleeves from your dress with his thumbs and pulls them over your shoulders and lets the dress fall to the floor. You move to face him again, feeling slightly self-conscious, your body was still thoroughly bruised and angry red wounds littered your pale skin. You watch as Levi takes you all in, scared of his reaction, but the reaction you were expecting, didn't come. In fact, he was looking at you in adoration. Within seconds his hands are all over you again, and his lips upon yours.   
  
His hands slide to your back and deftly flick the clasp on your bra; his mouth moving away from yours to take in all of the newly exposed skin. You wiggle as your skin becomes ultra-sensitive, causing you to giggle in anticipation. Levi stops what he is doing and mirrors your grin; he pulls you by the arm and in that single motion, you gently fall to the bed on your back. You feel a bit stupid, wearing only your knickers and your boots. It does not seem to phase him however, as he makes light work of removing them with ease, and then focuses his attention back on you.   
  
He climbs on top of you, scanning your body with greedy eyes. His thumb strokes the soft swell of your breast, heating your body and sending a shiver of excitement down your spine. You wanted him to lose control, to see how wild and untamed he could be, that Levi that he had hidden away, you wanted him to need you desperately. He was so in control, which was a powerful aphrodisiac, but to be able to make him lose control, that would be something.   
  
You move your hands over his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair as he plays with you; his slow ministrations winding the coil in you, tighter and tighter, making it extremely difficult to concentrate. You feel his taut muscles, and you close your eyes reeling from the whole experience, you tug at his shirt, losing all focus. Levi stops, knowing instinctively exactly what you wanted, and unbuttons his shirt. You open your eyes, desperate to see him shirtless, and you aren't disappointed. Yes, he had a slender frame, but the muscles wound tight around his arms and torso, could have undone you there and then. You notice then that his torso was covered in scars, some large but mostly thin lines, you would have thought that it would have marred the picture, but it didn’t, it only emphasised how annoyingly perfect he was.  Timidly you trace along the groves in his skin made by his tight muscles and you grin in excitement.   
  
“What did I tell you about that smile?” It wasn’t a question really, more of a promise of what he would do next. He zeroed in on your nipple, as if it beckoned him. His tongue touched you gently, kissing the velvety peak and drew it into his mouth. You sigh as you close your eyes, your body felt like it was coming alive, every nerve wanting, crying out for his touch. You notice him shift slightly as if he was fiddling with something, and soon come to realise, in one fluid motion he had discarded his shoes and the rest of his clothing. Fuck, he was completely naked…. You were completely naked! This was really happening!   
  
His body is so hot against yours, as if he was made of fire. He kisses you passionately, so deep that when he releases you from it, you are breathless. Shifting to be beside you, Levi pulls you in close to him. He runs his hands over your hips and breathes in, as if committing you to memory, and groans your name, his hand moving up your thigh finding your heated core. You knew what his fingers sought, and moving your leg, he claimed what he was looking for. As he did so he tastes your skin, you  cry out softly as his mouth finds your breast, his fingers probing deeper into your centre. Your body rippled with pleasure, it almost felt too much for you to bear, you felt like a tightly coiled spring, all under his control. Levi’s knee gently pushes your legs apart. He shifts above you, reading the hesitation in your face, he smiles softly.   
  
“I will be as gentle as I can. Trust me.” He moves again positioning himself closer still. You could feel that your body was ready for him, and it was almost too much when he eased himself into you. You gasp as you can feel him push against your internal barrier. You gasp and stiffen.   
  
“Levi!” You were really alarmed, scared if nothing else.   
  
“It will just be for a moment.” He pauses. “Once its over, I can show you the world.” Nervously you nod your head, there was no doubt that you trusted him. He kisses you gently, and begins to move slowly. You cant help but gasp as you feel the barrier pushed away, but he kisses you again only to take your mind off the momentary pain. The way he filled you, stretched you, he turned you into liquid fire. He was so gentle, every deep stroke built the craving for more, it was making you dizzy, urgency had your hands caressing the toned muscles of his back, your mouth moving over his neck, his chest.   
  
He drove harder into you, amids his kissing, and rapturous exploration of your body, you notice the need in him was growing, all the walls he had put up were slipping away. You could feel his hunger for you rising, his body moving harder and faster, burying himself deeper inside you, merging you together. The need in him seemed to be driving him on, only fuelling your own, your fingernails digging into his back as wave after wave rippled through your body. You felt yourself internally grip him, sending spirals of pleasure through your body. You cry out as you feel your body quake with overwhelming pleasure, followed shortly by a moan from Levi and you feel his body melt to yours.   
  
Your head was spinning, none of this seemed real, more like a promiscuous daydream. You stroke your hands along his back and caress his shoulders, he was definitely there alright. He lifts his head to look at you, with a broad grin on his face, it shocked you at first because you had never seen such an expression grace his features, instinctively you trace his face with your fingers, so completely under his spell. The smile suited him much more than the non-plussed expression he always wore, it made your heart flutter, seeing it, something that was only for you. He kisses you softly, almost like butterfly kisses and you hear a quiet chuckle.   
  
“Mmm… I could do that all over again.” He gives you a mischievous wink and you giggle, feeling thoroughly exhausted. He nuzzles into the crook of your shoulder, and sighs contentedly. “I’m glad that Varga hadn't spoiled you.” You knew he didn’t mean it that way, but you frown, pushing him away.   
  
“What do you mean spoiled?” Your tone was full of hurt.   
  
“Nothing, I’m just glad he didn’t have his way with you.” Some strange emotion hit you, and you were so tangled up with all the feelings that you had been through even in the last few hours, that you couldn’t place it.   
  
“Spoiled? What you wouldn’t have wanted me if he had done?!” He didn’t answer. Your heart sank, was that all he was really after? The goal of being your first? You moved off the bed, grabbing your night clothes from the drawer and huddled yourself into the bathroom. You cleaned yourself up, and slipped on your night clothes, you had stop the tears from falling, and washed your face with cold water from the basin. You heard a knock at the door, but you didn’t answer.    
  
“(first name). I didn’t mean it that way. I wanted you, it didn't matter whether you were untouched or not. I was just relieved that he hadn’t hurt you that way. Come back out, don't hide from me.” You listened to his words, they were sincere, maybe you had overreacted, there was logic in what he said. It still didn’t stop the initial grief of where your thoughts had originally taken you. You sigh and shake yourself out of your pity party. The morning would draw in soon and you didn't want to waste it by arguing. You open the door to see that Levi had retreated to the bed and was now huddled under the covers, the sight amused you, to think that two months ago you would never have even dreamed being here, let alone actually be living it. Levi beckons you to bed and without hesitation you snuggle under the covers next to him, his strong arms drawing you close as you snuggle into him.   
  
“This doesn't change my mind you know.” You say quietly, feeling rather sleepy.   
  
“I knew I could never change your mind. I will go, because that is what you want. Always remember, that It was completely against my better judgement.” You giggle softly at his formal words. “Thank you.”  
  
“Thank you?” You ask, your eyes heavy with exhaustion.   
  
“For showing me what its like to be loved.” You smile and kiss his skin as you feel yourself drifting off into slumber.   
  
  
~  
  
You wake up to shuffling in the room, you yawn as you rub your eyes and spy Levi getting dressed. Instantly it hits you, everything that had happened last night and the fact that he was leaving. Your heart flutters as you see his naked torso, begrudgingly watching as his shirt buttons cover your view and you smile as the thought of him naked next to you. It was definitely a memory you wouldn’t forget in a hurry. You stretch trying to stop your body from aching.   
  
“Good Morning Mr Darcy..” Levi seems shocked that you are awake, but a smile appears over his lips and he chuckles.   
  
“Ah, and to you to Miss Bennett.” It made you giggle that he played along with you, so he really thought of you as his other half. Just like Darcy did with Elizabeth. He walked over and gave you a kiss, you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you. He fell on top of you and the kiss deepened. “Well, Good Morning to you. I hate to do this but I have to sort a few things out before we go. I wont be long” You pout, it becoming even more real that not just Levi was leaving but the whole team.  
  
“I should get up and spend some time with the others before you go.” Levi sits on the bed and pulls his boots on as you dash around the room to put your clothes on. Opting for your usual attire rather than your birthday dress, which you picked up off the floor and laid it on the dresser. Levi walks behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, giving chaste kisses on your neck.   
  
“I’ll see you later.” You smile bitterly, feeling that your emotions were like a whirlwind, and he walked out the door. You brush your hair as you try to get your mental state  into a semblance of normal.   
  
You take a deep breath and follow where he had left. You hear noise in the kitchen and realise everyone else must have been up. As you walk in the kitchen all eyes are on you, and you laugh. Eren and Jean were looking worse for wear, in fact you were sure that Eren looked green. Lex was making coffee, the fragrant smell filled the kitchen with another wonderful aroma coming from the hob. At closer inspection you see that Lex was cooking breakfast, it made your stomach growl.   
  
“Good Morning Kotenok.” Lex smiled, his eyes giving you a knowing look, and you could help but confirm his suspicions with a giggle.   
  
“Morning Lex. I hope you have cooked enough for me?” He nods and pours coffee into cups he had already prepared.   
  
“Why do you sound so happy?” Jean asked, head in his hands, obviously feeling under the weather.   
  
“Isn't it obvious?” Sasha beams. “So.. Am I right?” She looks at you, already knowing the answer.   
  
“Maybe…” You look away innocently.   
  
“We do not need to see your reaction little one. Captain Darcy came down a little while ago, he tried to act normal. He is poor liar. He smiled ear to ear. Its obvious.” Lex gave a deep laugh as he placed the coffee in front of Jean and Eren. Eren looked up from his slumped position on the table, and eyes you suspiciously.   
  
“What? You and him? Urg… It makes me feel sick.” You laugh with the others at his obvious distaste and sit down as Lex serves the breakfast. Apart from the hangover club, it was a meal, full with chatting and laughter. It always was with everyone here, it tugged at your heart, that this was the last time you were going to be together, and you busy yourself with eating to try and dull out the pain.   
  
After you had washed up the dishes, everyone was packing their belongings and getting everything together for their trip home. You tried your best to help as much as you could without being in the way, watching the clock as each minute ticked by, every minute a painful moment away from when they would leave you for good. Levi still hadn't come back and time was getting to the point where they would be leaving any moment.   
  
“Everyone ready?” Erwin called from the front door. You heard the chorus of confirmations and people load out their bags into the front garden. You walked outside, the sun was shining again today, the breeze warm on your skin. Erwin was standing on the cobbled walk way looking rather awkward, whilst Sasha gave you a massive hug as you see Levi rush inside to get his belongings and she squeals something about never forgetting you with tears in her eyes.   
  
“(first name) I really will miss you. Write to me always.” Eren had starting looking better after breakfast, and he gave you a massive hug.   
  
“Make sure you hug Mikasa and Armin for me. Tell them that I will write to them too?” You insist, desperately trying to keep your sadness in check. He nods letting you go.   
  
“Remember to keep safe” You look to Jean, who hesitates for a second and flings his arms around you. He was so much taller than you and you could hear his heart thumping in his chest. He squeezes you, as if he doesn’t want to let you go, and it makes you smile. He had come such a long way, and he had become such a dear friend.   
  
“Get your hands off of her.” Jean looks and releases you at the sternness of the voice. Levi appeared from the walkway, his usual deadpan expression seemed to have made an appearance again. He pulls you towards him and kisses you passionately. “Don’t forget me.” The looks from the others were of complete shock at Levi’s actions, he was not fussed about showing affection to you in front of them. He nods to Erwin and they make their way down the street waving as they went.   
  
It was only when they were no longer in sight that you burst into tears. It felt like your body was ripping apart, your sobs wracked you to your core. You feel strong hands on your shoulder and turn to see Lex, who was looking at you with sympathy, he wrapped you in his arms and pulled you into the house away from prying eyes. He just held you until your body tired from the crying, stroking your hair, as a father would a daughter who had hurt her knee.   
  
“Kotenok. All is not lost. Here, listen.”  
  
~  
  
One month later  
  
Levi had gone back to work almost as soon as he had returned, but everything felt wrong. Food and drink tasted of nothing; cleaning yielded no satisfaction and the paperwork, as much as it bored him before, had been mind numbing. Hanji had tried to coax out what was wrong with him for days until he shut her down completely and told her in no uncertain terms to ‘fuck off’. His mood had become even darker and he was harder on the Cadets, more than he had ever been, but none of it helped. He could only think of her; her smile, her laugh and even her scowl. His world was such barren place without her, and no matter how many times he scolded himself for it, it made no difference. He couldn’t help but want to be near her.   
  
He sipped on his drink as he was looking at the umpteenth requisition order and mission request. He didn’t care, not like he used to, he used to strategise whether missions would be a success before bringing them to Erwin, but not now, they had not spoken since they came back to HQ. He still felt extremely bitter about the position that Erwin had put them all in, as well as the reputation of the Corps. He sighed as he heard a knock at the door, this must have been the tenth interruption that morning, he growled.   
  
“Come in.” He didn't look up. He didn't give a shit who it was, they could just hand the papers over and leave for all he cared.   
  
“Captain Ackerman. I do not believe that is the correct way to greet a fellow officer.” The voice sounded like hers, but it wasn't, it was authoritative and commanding. He sighed, eyes still not lifting from his paperwork.   
  
“Tsk. Just leave the paperwork on my desk and leave.” He said abruptly.   
  
“I should have you reprimanded for your conduct. Fair enough, if thats the way you want it. Then so be it.” Levi heard a thump on the desk as a massive file of paper landed upon it, and heard footsteps walk away. He scanned the writing on the front of the file that was stamped Internal Affairs. He looked up to see a woman in a blue uniform, slender figure and (h/c) hair tied up in a frenchbraid.   
  
“Wait. What are Internal Affairs doing here?” The woman continued walking out of the room.   
  
“All the information is on your desk, read it while your having your pity party.” The voice was blase and unbothered.   
  
“Stop.” She stopped in her tracks. “Look at me! Who are you?” He was enraged that she talked to him the way she did. She laughed, musical and familiar, she turned round.   
  
“Captain (first name/last name). Internal Affairs Liaison Officer to the Survey Corps at your service.” Levi stood there completely stunned, it was her. The one he had longed for, right in front of him.   
  
“(first name) is that really you?” She laughed again.   
  
“Do you not recognise me Levi? Its only been a month.” He just looked at her, still unbelieving. She raised an eyebrow and strode towards him. “Do you not know who I am Mr Darcy?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him the smile. He was jerked back into reality, she really was here, she was next to him, she was his once again. Without a second thought he kissed her greedily, yes, it was her. All the anger was stripped away and he could feel himself remembering the person he was back in the city.  
  
“That did not take long.” A deep voice came from the doorway, Levi looked to see Alexei leaning on the door frame. “I will leave lovebirds alone. I will see Erwin.” Taking his leave he left them alone again.   
  
“Internal Affairs? Captain?” Levi asked, dumbfounded. She smiled at him and giggled.   
  
“Yes, Lex had been speaking with them and they offered for me to work with them, but Lex managed to wrangle it that it would be best to keep an eye on Erwin, or any Commander in the Corps so they are not taken advantage of. My job is to liaise between the two, as people know me already it makes sense.”  
  
“Liaise with the Corps.” Levi tried to think it all through. She nuzzled into his ear, and kissed the skin on his neck, sending his body into shivers of anticipation.  
  
“I think I know who I am going to Liaise with first.” She whispered into his ear, giving him a playful nip on his earlobe, she pulled him towards his bedroom with an enticing smile on her face.   
  
Levi laughed, enthusiastic to make up for lost time and just before he succumbed to his insatiable need, muttered...    
__  
“I am all yours, Sir”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you soooo much for reading.
> 
> Please see 
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794833/chapters/26602131
> 
> For the next book in the story


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